"Sit On My Face"

He ordered. 1
He implored, barely audible. 2

Nina’s expression doesn’t change. 3
Would that turn you on, boob momma? 4
Because I am one horny motherfucker! 5

For another couple of minutes. 6
If you pay me enough. 7
And tell me that you love me. 8
For a bit. 9

Perfectly, he said. 10
Yeah. 11
By accident. 12

Stevie Nicks! 13
“HELL NO!” 14
“Man.” 15
Chorused a third. 16

Anytime. 18

1. Letters To Penthouse XXVII: The First Time Is the Hottest [source]

2. Pleasures of the Flesh, John Patrick [source]

3. The Way the Crow Flies, Ann-Marie Macdonald [source]

4. Such a Pretty Face, Cathy Lamb [source]

5. The Green Mile [source]

6. The Best American Erotica 2007, Susie Bright, editor [source]

(7) I and Claudius: Travels with My Cat, Clare De Vries [source]

(8) “Sit On My Face” [source]

(9) The Daily Beast, “I Got a $180 Bird-Poop Facial” [source]

(10) The New York Times, “Working With a Classic Frame of Reference” [source]

(11) It’s Good To Be The King… Sometimes, Jerry ‘The King’ Lawler [source]

(12) Shadow University, Terry Cunningham [source]

(13) Spin, “Sit on My Face, Stevie Nicks!” [source]

(14) I Have a Nightmare: What American Dream?, Wolf Larsen [source]

(15) The New Yorker, “Nachman From Los Angeles” [source]

(16) Temporary Insanity, Leslie Carroll [source]

(17) The Sound of No Hands Clapping, Toby Young [source]

(18) Dispatches, Michael Herr [source]


Full disclosure.

There’s a special place in hell…

Yes, Virginia…

If I weren’t an actor…

Like the man says…

What we talk about when we talk about…

It is a truth universally acknowledged…

Elon Green is a contributing editor to Longform. Photo by Chris Christian.