There's A Special Place In Hell...

For witches.1
For vampires once they’re staked or burned.2
For the Halloween spoilers.3
For puppeteers like Paxton.4

For the systems integrators.5

For a number of Federal court judges,
As I am sure there will be for Members of Congress.6
For non-disabled drivers who sport a handicapped placard on the dash
And park free all day at a downtown metered spot.7


For liars like Golan Cipel.8
For those who remove wood windows.9
For politicians who betray our nation’s most helpless children
For the benefit of a sullen and recalcitrant teacher’s union.10

For the Kaiser, the Clown Prince,
—and those taxi drivers!11
For noblemen who despoiled what peasants had sweated to grow. 12

For this guy.13
For those people.14
For that.15

For people who put together a book this comprehensive,
Then neglect to include an index.16

For Minnie’s married ex-lover.17
For those who violate children.18
For the women who have let men abuse them.19
For women who don’t help other women.20
For people like you.21

1 Lonely Witch in Hell, Bryon Severns [source]

2 True Blood and Philosophy, William Irwin [source]

3 For Your Love, Carolyn Wilson [source]

4 Silenced, Allison Brennan [source]

5 Network World, “Networking and religion are a match made in heaven” [source]

6 Congressional Record, May 6, 1998 [source]

7 Jalopnik, “News Flash: Not All Disabled Parking Placards Are Legit” [source]

8 The New York Times, “Aide McGreevey Cited Says They Never Had an Affair” [source]

9 Bungalow Details: Exterior, Jane Powell, Linda Svendsen [source]

10 The Atlantic, “The Obama Girls Aren’t Like You and Me” [source]

11 Heaven, Hell, Or Hoboken, Ray Neil Johnson [source]

12 World Without End, Ken Follett [source]

13 PolitiFact, “Bill O’Reilly called George Tiller ‘a baby killer’ with attribution” [source]

14 Curbed SF, “For Speculators: A Special Place In Hell” [source]

15 Legal Affairs, “Making The Partner” [source]

16 Orange Coast Magazine, “Bibliofile” [source]

17 The New Yorker, “Movies” [source]

18, “There Is a Special Place In Hell For Those Who Violate Children” [source]

19 The New York Times, “Walking the Chickens” [source]

20 Time, “10 Questions for Madeleine Albright” [source]

21 Huffington Post, “Tim D’Annunzio Melts Down On Talk Radio: North Carolina Congressional Candidate Implodes During Recent Interview” [source]

Previously in this series: Yes, Virginia

Elon Green is a contributing editor to Longform.