If I Weren't An Actor…

I think I’d have gone mad.1
I’d probably be in prison or dead.2
I’d always look like someone out of Middle-earth.3

I’d be a lawyer.4
I’d be an event planner.5
I’d be a hypnotist, like Paul McKenna.6
I’d be a surgeon, like my dad.7

I would have been a journalist.8
I would have been a photographer.9

I’d be: maybe an interior designer.10
I would be in psychology.11
Oh, Lord knows, maybe I’d be a professional action figure or something.12

I’d be the British Justin Bieber, probably!13
I’d be: building furniture.14
I’d be a burglar or seafarer.15
I’d be a secret agent.16
I’d be singing jingles or something.17

I would probably still be in Trondheim, Norway.18
I would probably be a painter or some kind of artist.19
I would probably be on the street.20

Would I be so worried about having dessert?21

I don’t know if I could do this job.22
I don’t know what the alternative would be.23
It would be prison, death or insanity.24

1 Laurence Olivier [source]
2 Danny Trejo [source]
3 Nick Offerman [source]
4 Debra Messing [source]
5 Tiffani Thiessen [source]
6 Karen Gillan [source]
7 Laura Prepon [source]
8 Dev Anand [source]
9 Neil Nitin Mukesh [source]
10 Jennifer Aniston [source]
11 Claire Danes [source]
12 Natalie Portman [source]
13 Thomas Law [source]
14 Ed Begley Jr. [source]
15 Anthony Hopkins [source]
16 Elijah Wood [source]
17 Kel Mitchell [source]
18 Liv Ullmann [source]
19 Gugu Mbatha-Raw [source]
20 Viola Davis [source]
21 Lauren Graham [source]
22 Ronald Reagan [source]
23 Adrien Brody [source]
24 Tom Hardy [source]

Previously: Like The Man Says

Elon Green is a contributing editor to Longform.