What It's Like To Be Eaten By A Bear, Particularly If You Are A Camera
"Terrifying footage shows what it is like to be eaten by a bear." Trigger warning, I guess, if you've been eaten by a bear before.
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Man Crosses Legs
"A picture caption on Monday with an article about a push for innovation in Taiwan described incorrectly the sitting position of Jonney Shih, chairman of Asustek Computer. While Mr. Shih did assume the yoga lotus pose during an interview, he was shown seated in a cross-legged position in the picture, not in the lotus pose."
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Media Stunned To Learn That Rest Of World More Interested Infomercials Than Media Reporting
"[L]ow ratings lend credence to the claim that few people outside of the media world care about media reporting."
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Fictional Characters' Caffeine Consumption Estimated
"To find out what kind of caffeine ingestion Joey, Chandler, Ross, Phoebe, Rachel and Monica had over the 10 seasons of Friends, we need to make a few assumptions. First, given their famous mugs, we’ll assume that they drink 20 oz. coffees. Second, we’ll assume that each friend consumes maybe two of these enormous drinks each episode. Finally, we assume that this kind of coffee mainlining happened over each of Friends’ 236 episodes. If each friend drank two mugs of coffee over each episode, the whole gang downed, in total, 445 gallons of coffee. " —Have you ever wondered how much coffee the pretend people on the 'Friends' television [...]
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Kilts Good For Scotch Eggs
"Kilts, worn as they were meant to be worn, without underwear, lets our laddies swing freely in the breeze, creating, according to researcher Erwin Kompanje, the 'ideal physiological scrotal environment.' Exposed to the bracing Highland coolness, testicles will make robust sperm."
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Dominance Of Vision In European-Imposed Model Of Knowledge Mischaracterized As Privileging Of Divination
"An article on Saturday about 'Otherwise: Queer Scholarship Into Song,' at the Dixon Place performance space in Manhattan, quoted incorrectly from a comment by Ann Pellegrini, an associate professor at New York University, while she was impersonating the gender theorist Judith Butler and deconstructing the lyrics of 'The Girl From Ipanema.' She said that the lyrics reflect 'the ocularcentrism of the Western episteme,' not the 'oracular-centrism.'"
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Lesbians Chatty
"[I]n lesbian films, as in lesbian life, there are a lot of feelings to be discussed."
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Some Thoughts On Batman's Penis
"And a note on Batman’s penis, which I thought of last week and feel compelled to share with you — I don’t think it’s the biggest penis out there, just like Batman’s not the biggest, strongest dude. Batman’s body is the human body at its maximum physical potential, which means his penis is at the maximum potential, too. Which isn’t entirely about size, but also concerns girth and shape. It can’t be too big, because that could hurt some folk, plus it would probably get in the way of his crimefighting. There’s some perfect size ratio out there for providing maximum sexual pleasure to the greatest amount of people, and [...]
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What Does The Odor Of Your Urine After You Eat Asparagus Say About You?
You can tell spring has arrived because it's a whole new season for explainers about why asparagus makes your pee smell that way.
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Percentage Of People Who Were Idiots In The '90s Corrected
"Because of an editing error, the Skin Deep column last Thursday, about employees who feel the need to conceal their tattoos at work, misstated one of the findings of a Pew Research poll from 2010 about Americans with tattoos. It found that 32 percent of people aged 30 to 45 have a tattoo, not that 32 percent of Americans with tattoos are 30 to 45 years old."
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Calendar Full Of Violence
April, according to NBC, is "a painful and unforgettably violent month in this country's history." Other painful and unforgettably violent months in this country's history include January, February and March, in addition to May, June and July. Sadly, we would be remiss if we did not mention August, September, October and November in this grouping as well. Also: December.
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What I Learned On My Trip To Disney
"A roundup review of audiobook mysteries on Nov. 25 misstated the age-appropriateness of 'Gun Games,' by Faye Kellerman. Strong language, explicit depictions of sex, and references to drug use and other disturbing themes disqualify the book from being considered in any sense 'G-rated,' and in an overwhelming majority of cases, it would not be an appropriate selection for a 'good-guy dad who just wants to keep the family from having a meltdown on the endless drive to Disney World.'"
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It Is Hard To Keep All These Witches Straight
"An article on March 7 about the popularity of witch culture in women’s fashion misstated the color of satin worn by the character Evanora in the movie 'Oz.' It was green — not red, which her sister Theodora wore."
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Old Hick Paper Now Glossy Hick Mag
As a man of a certain age, every now and again I wonder if Grit still exists. Turns out it does! It's a funny old world.
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Horoscope Knows People Are Talking About How Useless You Are Behind Your Back
"Despite what some people might say you are more than just an accident of the universe – there is meaning to your existence."
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Man Tells You What Your Retweets Mean
"I hate to break it to you, folks, but RTs are implied endorsements. Forwarding an article by e-mail without explaining why you are passing it on implies that you agree with it (and that you are someone who likes to waste my time). RTing something without comment means the same thing." [Via]
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Your Sneeze: What Does It Say About You
"A person who’s demonstrative and outgoing, for instance, would most likely have a loud explosive sneeze, whereas someone who’s shy might try to withhold their sneezes, resulting in more of a Minnie Mouse-type expulsion." —Apparently "demonstrative and outgoing" is the new way of saying "asshole."
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No Matter How Resilient You Are You're Still Getting Eaten
"An article about eating mutton (Golden oldies, 4 April, page 13, G2) referred to the disastrous effects of the prolonged winter on sheep farmers and their livestock but said 'resilient mutton are coping well'. A farmer points out that it is the sheep that are resilient; mutton is the meat that comes from them."
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Why You Hate The Way Other People See And Hear You
"We grow up getting used to all of our asymmetries as reflected in the mirror—parting our hair to the left, the little mole on our right cheek, that chip in our left incisor. When we see a photo of ourselves, all of these tiny differences don’t match up with what our brain expects to see, so we dislike it. Likewise, we live our lives hearing and perfecting our bone-conducted, but not air-conducted, voices."
