Less Stupid: Two for the Road

IT'S AN AWL COMMENT?It seems like only yesterday when this website hit the 100,000 comment mark. Which it was. In recognition of that auspicious event, I asked if The Awl would consider regular posts where less stupid comments are highlighted for awl to enjoy.

Why? Because I love the comments and I love you. No, not you. YOU.

I love KarenUhOh’s well-crafted one-offs. I love scroll_lock’s puns. I love Matt’s childish obsession with Green Lantern. I love Bad Uncle’s 1970’s gear head humor, Nic Fit’s references to Michael Alig and Abe’s mid-western independence. I love mathnet’s conversations with herself and HiredGoons’ lively retorts.

You just scanned that list for your name and didn’t see it? Well, I love you too. And I am going to recognize your wonderful comments soon in exchange for a sexual favor, to be given to me here in Chicago.

Just so we are all clear, this will not be an award or a game show. There’s no funny name and we are not giving away merit badges. What we will be doing is merely trying to offer the noble reader a chance to catch up on some stuff that’s easy to miss at the end of the day and the end of the post. Also, I can absolutely guarantee you that I will miss some of your brilliance because I am slow, fairly incompetent and desperately illiterate.

But I also promise you that every day, if I am sober, an interesting comment and/or exchange will be chosen for your reading pleasure. Funny’s always good but insight and edification is better. Also, I can’t do this alone, so for the love of God, send me some recommendations. awlcomments@gmail.com.

So without further adieu, our let’s do two!

Our first less stupid comment comes from old #262, kenlayne, who writes in “Limited Edition Denim” Officially Gets Out Of Hand:

“saw these awful things at the store yesterday. It’s good to know our nation’s unemployed single parents can start their little corn-syrup blobs on the early path of wearing shit-filled undergarments as clothing. And when they are, as TMZ says, All Grow’d Up, they can move up to these ‘pajama jeans.’ (That is a ‘self link.’ Oh please do not ban me, Metafilter.) When the Huggies come with a belly-button ring and neck/ass tattoos, America’s work will be complete.”

Jedi ramifications aside, Mr. Layne paints a picture with words worthy of a tattooed warbling Cyrus herself (Iron Maiden shirt optional).

Soon I gotta bolt for the Motor City this weekend to go sling some rock and enjoy a refreshing Vernors. So I am going to pack it in early and leave you this nugget from today’s post, “Financial Reform Bill: Eh, Don’t Worry About It!”, by the incomparable #220, lawyergay.

I actually have a “job” (okay freelance gig) that requires me to stay on top of this financial reform trainwreck, and I can’t read anything about it right now, either.

The “sausage making” metaphor that everyone invokes when talking about Congress and lawmaking doesn’t really do this process justice, because when you make sausage, you shove everything into a meat grinder and something sautee-able and delicious comes out. Pretty straightforward!

This is more like 17 hobos making a collage out of macaroni and back issues of the National Review using safety scissors and airplane glue.

Oliver Wendell Holmes and/or John Curtis Holmes couldn’t have said it better.

Have a safe weekend and remember to wear sunscreen. And don’t forget to email me your suggestions if you see something you like: awlcomments@gmail.com.