Financial Reform Bill: Eh, Don't Worry About It!
Do you not understand the Senate Financial Regulation Overhaul bill that passed yesterday? Have you been struggling to make sense of it in this morning's papers and blogs? We come with good tidings: don't bother! We now enter the long, boring process of reconciliation of the passed Senate bill with the House bill, that passed some six months ago now. There's a rather dull chart that highlights some of the major differences between the two, but you know what? You don't even have to worry about that. The mutated offspring that will emerge all bloody and feet-first will probably be a totally different kettle of fish. (… Sorry about that.) So, unless you're one of the 3000 lobbyists in the $1.3 billion finance reform lobbying industry, you don't really need to worry your pretty head. The bill contains provisions like the merging of the "Office of Thrift Supervision into the Office of the Comptroller of the Currency"! What does that mean to you? Not much! The Senate bill was nearly 1600 pages. You know who's read that? Nobody!
No one is even reading the blog posts about the bill, apparently.
wow, i only could make it half way through the summary chart! a new low in my reading comprehension abilities! sigh.
Right? Also I read the exact same boilerplate on it on five different sites and, well, let's just say it all became word salad.
Everyone knows I'm a full-blown capitalist and Wall St. apologist, but this little gem made my blood boil:
The Senate never voted on amendment to change the business model of ratings agencies, in which banks pay for ratings on the products that they sell to clients.
How the rating agencies manage to keep dodging the shrapnel from the economic bomb they had a major role in building is beyond me. Fuckers.
The administration proposed requiring lenders to offer each borrower a "plain vanilla" loan, like a 30-year, fixed-rate mortgage, to illuminate the range of possibilities, but the proposal didn't make it into either bill.
They didn't even ask me if I wanted a Plain Chocolate Loan! (ACTUALLY I WOULD PREFER RUM RAISIN, BUT -HRUMPH- WHATEV.)
No kidding, Tuna. Maybe the head of Moody's has some compromising photos of Chris Dodd (the thought of which is mighty disturbing and I'm going to stop thinking about it now.)
also, Hee Hee! That tickles!
I actually have a "job" (okay freelance gig) that requires me to stay on top of this financial reform trainwreck, and I can't read anything about it right now, either.
The "sausage making" metaphor that everyone invokes when talking about Congress and lawmaking doesn't really do this process justice, because when you make sausage, you shove everything into a meat grinder and something sautee-able and delicious comes out. Pretty straightforward!
This is more like 17 hobos making a collage out of macaroni and back issues of the National Review using safety scissors and airplane glue.
if they can somehow craft a lifelike Fusilli Lindsey Graham, color me impressed.
wow, this is the best summary of the financial system ever!!
er. i mean legislative system. whatever. you know what i meant…
@ art, apparently even his parents weren't able to make a lifelike lindsey graham
Were I able to follow much of this chart (Too Big to Fail!- I do get that), I probably wouldn't be here spending my time leaving internet droppings on this website. No, I'd probably be hammering numbers into MACHINES, whereupon MACHINES would create models and financial forecasts which would enable me to make a SHIT TON of money by betting against the various misfortunes of commercial institutions! Then I'd celebrate my perverse wealth by smoking a gold-leaf cigar, wash it down with a $125 glass of Scotch, log on to my account at Dealbreaker and make fun of stupid poors.
The people who write this shit must be a hoot at parties.
I keep looking at my wrists for some reason…
For common good? Egregious overdraft charges at Citi definitely won't be quite as much so when the bank changes the way it clears checks. Financial reform restricts banks from providing overdraft protection for debit cards unless consumers opt in, however the rules don't apply to checking accounts. By clearing checks written for smaller amounts first, Citi is keeping itself from stealing as much money as it has in the past with bogus fees. The proof is here: Citi to give customers a break by clearing smallest checks first