Thursday, November 22—Thanksgiving!
Houston -3 At Detroit
While you are eating turkey the Lions will be getting their ass kicked. PICK: TEXANS
At Dallas -3 Washington
While you are taking a tryptophan nap Romo will be screwing up. PICK: REDSKINS
New England -6.5 At NY Jets
While you’re at a bar avoiding your family the Jets will still suck. PICK: PATRIOTS
Thursday, November 1
At San Diego -7.5 Kansas City
I’m hoping Chiefs’ star cornerback Brandon Flowers gets six pick sixes PICK: CHIEFS
Sunday, November 4
Denver -3.5 At Cincinnati
The Bengals will play great and then Peyton Manning will steal their candy. PICK: BRONCOS
At Green Bay -11 Arizona
I’m sick of losing cash betting against the Green Bay Packers every week. PICK: PACKERS
Thursday, December 1
Philadelphia -3 At Seattle What is a good snack to eat during this game? Tossed salad, scrambled eggs. PICK: EAGLES
Sunday, December 4
At Buffalo -1.5 Tennessee Bills still have a chance to make the playoffs if all the other teams die. PICK: BILLS
At Chicago -7 Kansas City Will Caleb Hanie be better the second time around? Like pizza! PICK: BEARS
Thursday, November 15
At Buffalo -2.5 Miami
C. J. Spiller is very fast and dangerous so I will Bill-lieve! PICK: BILLS
Sunday, November 18
At Washington -3.5 Philadelphia
All Eagles’ players ought to emulate Nick Foles’ awesome mullet 'doo. PICK: REDSKINS
Thursday, October 25
At Minnesota -6 Tampa Bay
Vikings should crush Bucs. Flip channels only during World Series innings. PICK: VIKINGS
Sunday, October 28
New England -7 St. Louis (At London)
New England visits Regular England. Brady Defects to Man U. PICK: PATRIOTS
Sunday, October 9
At Indianapolis -2.5 Kansas City Battle for Last Place! Pre-empt the Fourth Quarter and Show Heidi instead. PICK: CHIEFS
At Minnesota -2.5 Arizona Do cardinals really hang out in Arizona? They must get thirsty. PICK: VIKINGS
Thursday, November 8
Indianapolis -3.5 At Jacksonville
Jags on National Television! It's like why they canceled "Joey." PICK: COLTS
Sunday, November 11
At New England -11 Buffalo
Patriots, coming off the Bye, have installed spy helmet cameras. PICK: PATS
Thursday, December 8
At Pittsburgh -14 Cleveland Is Colt McCoy the Quarterback of the Future? Then Browns' Future Sucks. PICK: BROWNS
Sunday, December 11
At Baltimore -16.5 Indianapolis Baltimore only shows up against the good teams. This could be closer. PICK: COLTS
