Football Pick Haikus For Week 8
Thursday, October 25
At Minnesota -6 Tampa Bay
Vikings should crush Bucs.
Flip channels only during
World Series innings. PICK: VIKINGS
Sunday, October 28
New England -7 St. Louis (At London)
New England visits
Regular England. Brady
Defects to Man U. PICK: PATRIOTS
At Tennessee -3.5 Indianapolis
Chris Johnson is alive!
Too bad Tennessee defense
hates playing defense. PICK: TITANS
At Green Bay -15.5 Jacksonville
Brad Pitt says it’s not
A journey. Every journey
ends but Jags lose on. PICK: PACKERS
San Diego -2.5 At Cleveland
I’m taking the Browns.
I’m writing a book: THE YEAR
I LOST EVERYTHING. PICK: BROWNS
At Philadelphia -2.5 Atlanta
No team should ever
go undefeated, it’s just
profoundly selfish. PICK: EAGLES
At Detroit -2 Seattle
If Lions had a
decent coach they’d probably
still be in last place. PICK: LIONS
At NY Jets -2.5 Miami
The Jets have to win.
If they’re irrelevant this
soon shrinks will go broke. PICK: JETS
At Chicago -7.5 Carolina
Trying to beat the
Bears at home is harder than
shaving Ditka’s stache. PICK: BEARS
At Pittsburgh -4.5 Washington
The Steelers are great
at home, terribly waving
their yellow towels. PICK: STEELERS
At Kansas City -1.5 Oakland
The Chiefs will start
Brady Quinn. K.C., don’t cheer
if he gets injured! PICK: CHIEFS
NY Giants -2 At Dallas
Last year Giants lost
twice to the Redskins. Will they
lose two to these bums? PICK: COWBOYS
At Denver -6 New Orleans
Saints visit Mile High!
Their suspended coach can call
plays in from the blimp. PICK: BRONCOS
Monday, October 29
San Francisco -6.5 At Arizona
Cards in a tailspin.
But Niners melt in desert
like scorpion poo. PICK: CARDINALS
Detroit Tigers v. San Francisco Giants
Verlander stunk up
Game One but Obama lost
the first debate, too. PICK: Tigers in 7
Last week’s Haiku Picks went 5–6–2. That’s 46–56–3 for the season. This week, we picked all the home teams. Go, Home Teams!
Jim Behrle tweets at @behrle for your possible amusement.