Football Pick Haikus For Week 12

Thursday, November 22 — Thanksgiving!

Houston -3 At Detroit

While you are eating
turkey the Lions will be
getting their ass kicked. PICK: TEXANS

At Dallas -3 Washington

While you are taking
a tryptophan nap Romo
will be screwing up. PICK: REDSKINS

New England -6.5 At NY Jets

While you’re at a bar
avoiding your family
the Jets will still suck. PICK: PATRIOTS

Sunday, November 25

At Cincinnati -8 Oakland

Bengals’ A. J. Green
can’t be covered by any
group of human beings. PICK: BENGALS

Pittsburgh -1 At Cleveland

Byron Leftwich can’t
Quarterback his way out of
an airport restroom. PICK: BROWNS

At Indianapolis -3 Buffalo

Colts will pick themselves
up and take it to the Bills
in a great shootout. PICK: COLTS

Denver -10.5 At Kansas City

Being a fan of
the Chiefs is terrible for
your health and well-being. PICK: BRONCOS

Tennessee -3 At Jacksonville

The Jaguars’ offense
put on quite a show last week.
Go nuts, Chad Henne! PICK: JAGUARS

At Chicago Off Minnesota

Bears should let a
random fan with a moustache
be their quarterback. PICK: VIKINGS

Atlanta -1 At Tampa Bay

If Matt Ryan throws
five more interceptions they
should put him on ice. PICK: FALCONS

Seattle -3 At Miami

The Seahawks kinda
suck on the road. But the Fish
suck everywhere. PICK: SEAHAWKS

Baltimore -1 At San Diego

The Chargers will win
because they usually
don’t break your heart yet. PICK: CHARGERS

San Francisco -2.5 At New Orleans

Colin Kaepernick
is fun to watch but voodoo
beats his good juju. PICK: SAINTS

At Arizona -2.5 St. Louis

Former St. Louis
team turns current residents
into frozen custard. PICK: CARDINALS

At NY Giants -2.5 Green Bay

Eli Manning must
wake up from his coma or
the Giants hit snooze. PICK: PACKERS

Monday, November 26

At Philadelphia -2.5 Carolina

The proud Philly fans
deserve a better effort
than these green sad frauds. PICK: PANTHERS

Last week’s Haiku Picks went 9–5. That’s 73–85–3 for the season. Movement in the right direction! Have a great holiday!

Jim Behrle tweets at @behrle for your possible amusement.