Football Pick Haikus For Week 13

Thursday, December 1

Philadelphia -3 At Seattle
What is a good snack
to eat during this game? Tossed
salad, scrambled eggs. PICK: EAGLES

Sunday, December 4

At Buffalo -1.5 Tennessee
Bills still have a chance
to make the playoffs if all
the other teams die. PICK: BILLS

At Chicago -7 Kansas City
Will Caleb Hanie
be better the second time
around? Like pizza! PICK: BEARS

At Miami -3 Oakland
The only thing worse than
the Dolphins are those fugly
Marlins’ uniforms. PICK: RAIDERS

At Pittsburgh -6.5 Cincinnati
Bengals need to win
to stay in the playoff race.
But they’re the Bengals. PICK: STEELERS

Baltimore -6.5 At Cleveland
The Ravens show up
only against the best teams.
Browns can’t beat the flu. PICK: RAVENS

NY Jets -3 At Washington
Rex Ryan heads to
the capital to fix that
whole debt crisis crap. PICK: JETS

Atlanta -2.5 At Houston
The Texans now need
another new quarterback.
Paging Joe Namath! PICK: FALCONS

At Tampa Bay -3.5 Carolina
Cam Newton is the
Rookie of the Year and the
captain of my heart. PICK: PANTHERS

At New Orleans -9 Detroit
Suspended Lion
Ndamukong Suh’s loose
on Bourbon Street! PICK: LIONS

At Minnesota -1.5 Denver
Tebow won’t get the
MVP but he could get
holy stigmataed. PICK: BRONCOS

At San Francisco -13 St. Louis
If Rice-A-Roni
is the San Francisco Treat,
what is for dessert? PICK: NINERS

Dallas -4.5 At Arizona
Dallas can grab hold
of this division so they’ll
probably lose big. PICK: CARDINALS

Green Bay -7 At NY Giants
The only team that
can beat this Pack is the
Bizarro Packers. PICK: PACKERS

At New England -20 Indianapolis
No Peyton Manning!
This game will be as fun as
Walmart Black Friday. PICK: COLTS

Monday, December 5

San Diego -3 At Jacksonville
Maurice Jones-Drew
is the league’s leading rusher.
And the Chargers suck. PICK: JAGUARS


Saturday, December 3

LSU at Georgia +10
Only a Tiger loss
can prevent a scoreless title
game against ‘Bama. PICK: GEORGIA

Margarito vs. Cotto II
Without plaster in
his gloves this time Maragarito
goes down in seven. PICK: COTTO

Last week Haiku Picks went 9–6–1. Season to date is 81–94–6. We need a rally!

Jim Behrle tweets at @behrle for your possible amusement.