Friday, July 9th, 2010

Meet Our Summer Interns

Ah, summer-the glorious, lazy days when we elderly folk try to find glorious, lazy millennials to do our bidding. (Late summer is when we old people complain when they go missing on drug benders and/or paid work.) This year, we took the most passive approach to summer interns: we took everyone who randomly applied! Completely self-selecting! And yet, a great crew. I asked each of these four young people to introduce themselves to you fine readers and to send in their most summery photo. [N.B. None of their presumably helicoptering parents even wrote their bios for them! Maybe the kids are alright?]

Nathan Freeman, Editor, Dept. of Metropolitan Observances
NATE FREEMAN IS LOOKING CASUALNate Freeman is a 22-year-old recent graduate of Duke University. In college, Nate found enough sober hours to co-create and blog for The ##, write a column for the Duke Chronicle and dash off a bunch of short fiction and a novel. He once spent a summer interning for New York magazine and is moving back up to the city in a few days' time. When away from the keyboard, Nate will spend his time searching for a benefactress wealthy enough to cover his bar tabs. You can follow him on Twitter, or email him at

Jane Hu, Editor, Dept. of Random Very Recent Historical Research and Library-Based Ephemera
JANE HU GOES RIGHT ROUND BABY RIGHT ROUNDJane is finishing her BA in English Lit in Montreal where lives with her cat, Henry James. In her spare time, she edits for The McGill Daily and skips all the boring parts of movies. Obviously she has a Tumblr.

Ryan Broderick, Editor, Dept. of LOL Videos and Stoopid News
RYAN BRODERICK IS WACKYRyan Broderick lives in New York and is currently trying to master the Internet, which mostly involves looking at gross porn and pictures of animals dressed in cute pictures. He also runs Student Loans for Beer Money (and is the editor-in-chief of the Hofstra Chronicle).

Jordan Carr, Editor, Dept. of Things That Are Happening
JORDAN CARR WEARS A TINY TINY HAT FOR YOUR AMUSEMENTJordan has lived his whole life in the Bay Area in California and is spending the summer in New York City. He's an undergrad at Stanford University, studying Political Science and History. He's written for the Stanford Review, Stanford Daily and was formerly the editor of the Stanford Review blog. He spent this past spring in Washington, D.C., working for this spin-off of the Strand Bookstore. He loves all things related to books, movies, pop culture and competitions of any kind. He also enjoys email and the Internets, and is happy to receive and respond to your thoughts, comments or suggestions at

79 Comments / Post A Comment

Slava (#216)

Women are not proportionally represented in this sample.

brent_cox (#40)

Nor are the olds.


OH I see, I accidentally divided four by TWO, instead of four by ONE. :)

But I mean, we took a CANADIAN. That's gotta count for like, four women. I can barely understand her! (KIDDING JANE, SORRY.)

jolie (#16)


C_Webb (#855)

How long can I play benefactress before they find out I have no money?

La Cieca (#1,110)

These youths have little future in the wordsmithery industry if they can't figure out that when Choire says "summery" what he really means is "nekkid."

mrBramby (#1,370)

Aw, interns are the very best.

Kevin Patterson (#5,933)

I like that Nathan smokes! A very good sign.

bzcohen (#2,764)

The poor smoke detector of our dorm room from junior year vehemently disagrees. Hi, Nate!

laurel (#4,035)

@KP: Yeah, but he writes sober.

narnio (#38)

But you're missing the Editor, Dept. of "Pagination and Slideshows!"

Consider this my formal application!

David Cho (#3)

No thank you.

BoHan (#29)

I vote for Jordan as most cute. What does he win?

riotnrrd (#840)

A HanJo from BoHan

BoHan (#29)

Ewww. Jordan needs something much more age-appropriate than a Gen W hand-job. Like some Millennialingus. That would be a good prize.

Tuna Surprise (#573)

Nate will spend his time searching for a benefactress wealthy enough to cover his bar tabs.

*call me

So we're finally going to find out what the… tuna surprise is?

@Choire: You should have been at the Bawl.

Tuna Surprise (#573)


1. I've been cleared to compete as a woman by track and field's international governing body, the I.A.A.F.

2. I've got my own apartment.

3. I've got a credit card that isn't linked to my parent's account.

I consider myself a catch!

garge (#736)

Tuna is also too modest to mentione that she is a hot mamacita and has legs for miles, so I will say so myself.

garge (#736)

(That superfluous e doesn't make it any less true.)

jolie (#16)

@garge: And a lovely smile to boot.

kneetoe (#1,881)

All true, and she was kind enough to wait around for the late crowd.

Art Yucko (#1,321)

I take 2% in my coffee.

(yeehaw! new kids! the commentariat welcomes you, and here have a shot of Eagle Reserve on Yucko's tab.)

garge (#736)

I take my coffee the color of Halle Berry, whatever dairy is around.


cherrispryte (#444)

I know exactly where Jordan is standing, and this amuses me.

Hi Interns! Good luck! It must be nice to be only an intern and have the same salary as the Editors!


Jordan Carr reminds me of a young Nathan Freeman.

boyofdestiny (#1,243)

Um, you were taking interns? My jealousy is barely containable.

hman (#53)

New Awl seating chart, please!

Neopythia (#353)

Gah, beaten by minutes. At least I bothered to look before posting.

Matt (#26)


Mindpowered (#948)

Baseball Caps!

toodley (#4,794)

JORDAN have some life advice:
if you're spending a single second at fatuous Review when you could be at the Nuthouse you are a FOOL.

toodley (#4,794)

at "the" fatuous Review, but also I guess at fatuous review. Basically if you do anything that's not going to the Nuthouse you're not doing the best you could be with your time!

Oh, it's on .. IT'S ON LIKE GRAY POUPON!

Abe Sauer (#148)

I bet if I had a @theawl email address more interview queries would get answered. *sigh*

garge (#736)

UhOh, if that's the case, I wonder who I have been exchanging racy emails with via abesauer@theawl??

Art Yucko (#1,321)

Cat needs to take his feline frustrations out on Balk Dollie instead of sexting garge.

deepomega (#1,720)

How do I get an email address?! Email envy!

cherrispryte (#444)

Guys. Sell email addresses for money.

Matt (#26)

They should really sell SOMETHING for money, shouldn't they??

jolie (#16)

I would buy Alex Balk an inflatable bar in exchange for an at awl email address.

HiredGoons (#603)


deepomega (#1,720)


Yes! Awl merch stand at the next Bawl!

Art Yucko (#1,321)


jolie (#16)

I'm going to start selling replica Balk dollies on etsy.

Art Yucko (#1,321)

I'd buy the Limited Edition set of Lawlique Shot-glasses/Old Fashioneds, because I'm all about the fancy shit-

Art Yucko (#1,321)

MACHINESâ„¢ typewriters designed by Antonio Citterio for Olivetti!!!1110101010101110101 -drops dead-

I'd buy one, but only if you get Ettore Sottsass instead of Citterio.

keisertroll (#1,117)

Awlstate Insurance: You're in good head.

Art Yucko (#1,321)

@WWIV: the Sottsassy version would be my first choice of COURSE, only problem being #andnowhesdead; hence the Citterio default.

Perhaps MACHINES can zombify him in time to beat production deadlines!

Moff (#28)

Jane who?

Third base!

Moff (#28)

I don't know…

Duke AND Stanford?!?!?!?

I bet they are Republicans too.

Hey Jordan: GO BEARS!

Astigmatism (#1,950)

The Stanford Review: It's like The National Review, but at Stanford, and financed by libertarian IPO babies.

HiredGoons (#603)

Kids, steal office supplies!

Office supplies being, obviously, cigarettes.

cherrispryte (#444)

Interns, take note: Cat is not office supplies.

HiredGoons (#603)

I'm pretty sure Cat is actually the legally responsible party for this whole endeavor.

Miles Klee (#3,657)

it's a tax dodge

BadUncle (#153)

These people are grossly overqualified. Especially for days massaging Choire's corns and freshening up Balk's juleps.

scroll_lock (#4,122)

You have to ensure the corn shavings don't end up in le juleps, unless one needs more roughage.

BadUncle (#153)

Really, you need them for corn whiskey.

LondonLee (#922)

I used to work at The Atlantic and the interns had to write little bios like this to introduce themselves to the staff and you wouldn't believe (maybe you would) what a bunch of annoying, over-achieving suck ups they were. I'd rather have your lot, at least they look like they can hold their booze and smoke a bit.

Exactly. These interns are all refreshingly fun and largely well-adjusted. I have seen some BITCH-ASS INTERNS in my life.

TheAwl was clearly Freeman's second choice for an internship this summer; he was quite devastated when rejected his offer of free work.

Jane has a lot work to do if she wants me to reconsider my belief that she is a horrible person. I base this belief solely on the name of her cat. Really?

Ryan, is clearly under the impression that theawl is under umbrella. I don't think he will suss out the truth for a month or so, at which time, since he seems like an amiable enough fellow, he will not care and continue to intern at theawl. This decision will please Choire so much that he will buy Ryan an overrated roastbeef sandwich for lunch.

Jordan will struggle throughout the summer masquerading his disappointment in not interning at Foreign Policy. Poor guy.

Vulpes (#946)

Oh these poor, poor children.

Rod T (#33)

Pardon me while I poach.
Hi Intern: will TRIPLE your pay and get you a blowjob. Several really. Gay ones! (Not from the Editors, we have "contributors" for that. And you're all a little too squeaky looking. Actually, forget the blowjobs. Except the lady. We will get you a ladyblowjob.)

Bittersweet (#765)

So, Rod, triple pay, huh? Is that three times more nothing?

Connor (#4,136)

Hey Jane Hu, what are the odds I met you? Did you rep McGill at NASH this year?

Jane Hu (#5,833)

Hi Connor! I was not, but we're hosting CUP this year–you should try to make it out!

keerquie (#3,346)

Welcome Jane! So what do these kids actually have to do then? Because I am a kid and want to be one of "these kids" too.

Pandemic Endemic (#3,825)

I like how Nathan looks just like Henry Reed of Henry Reed's Baby-Sitting Service. I bet he will have to do a lot of babysitting, too.

KarenUhOh (#19)

I'm sorry I missed these formal introductions Friday, but I was indisposed. I was also in Wisconsin. I digress.

Welcome, Young People of Ambition.

Which reminds me: have any of them been told of our–well–our little secret?

P.S. Summer started, like, six weeks ago??
Welcome, young people of limited ambition.

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