Having a hard time getting people to do sex to you? Maybe you should be sleeping more.

Researchers claim to have found the first proof that getting a regular eight hours a night really does make you appear healthier and more attractive.

When untrained observers were shown photographs of the faces of volunteers who had been deprived of sleep, they judged them to be less healthy and less attractive than photographs of the same volunteers when well-rested.

In case the importance of all this is unclear, note that the “ability to read signs of sleep deprivation could have an evolutionary advantage, since an attractive face is a sign of good health. This triggers sexual attraction, the choice of a mate and the successful transmission of genes. A good night’s sleep before a date could mean the difference between a lifetime’s happiness and a taxi home alone.”

There is also something about lack of sleep damaging your immune system and causing heart problems, but really, who cares? It is all about getting to do sex and have sex done unto you. Naps all around!

Photo by reonis, from Flickr.

States That Had Zero Counties with a 10% or Greater Increase in Average Income over the Last Ten Years

Washington
Wisconsin
Illinois
Michigan
Indiana
South Carolina
Colorado
Oregon
Maine
Connecticut
Ohio
Tennessee
Arizona
Mississippi
Alabama
Pennsylvania
New Jersey
New Hampshire
Vermont

(source)

“A mountain climber told us that a dozen aluminium cans of beer and other beverage cans were torn apart around the cart. We are positive that the bear was responsible for it.”
 — A Seoul Zoo official tells the story of Kkoma, or “The Kid,” a sun bear who escaped from his cage on December 6th, apparently because he didn’t like being cooped up with a crabby older member of his species, and headed for the hills. Eluding hundreds of bear trappers with dogs and a helicopter, the brave young antiauthoritarian became a national media sensation — celebrating his freedom with a few well earned frosty cold ones before being caught on a mountainside in Gwacheon, four miles away. They’ll write poems about this bear some day. And make movies about him. Your children’s children will sing songs about “The Kid.” Song like these songs.

Billy Joel has a song about Billy the Kid, too. “The Ballad of Billy the Kid,” it’s called. And it even has a line about “a boy with a six-pack in his hand…” But I can’t bring myself to post a Billy Joel video. So just, you know, noted.

Here’s some footage of the riots that followed yesterday’s vote in Italy to keep Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi’s government in office.

Masked demonstrators burned cars and smashed shop windows. Plumes of white tear gas billowed over city squares. More than 100,000 anti-Berlusconi demonstrators snaked through the capital. Large student protests converged on Piazza Venezia, a block from Berlusconi’s fortified private residence. By sundown, almost 100 people — both protesters and police — were reported injured, including about two dozen hospitalized, according to the Associated Press. About 40 were reportedly taken into police custody.

There were also riots in Greece, in protest of government austerity measures.

And in Britain, where police recently tipped a wheelchair-bound protester out of his chair and dragged him through the street, there are even protests about the tactics used during protests.

Meanwhile, here in America, a couple of guys from the television had dueling meet-ups on the Mall.

There’s a new Lil Wayne song out. New new, recorded after he got out of prison a couple weeks ago. It was produced by Atlanta’s Bangladesh (that’s funny to type, I wonder if there’s a producer in Bangladesh named Atlanta? There might be) who used a sample of Harry Belafonte’s “Banana Boat Song” and a big, rubber-bandy sounding 808 bass beat to construct the same kind of minimalist wonder that made “A Milli” such a favorite from Wayne’s last proper album The Carter III. The Carter IV will be out in February, reportedly. Psyched. Wayne sounds to be in fine form.

by Stephen Kosloff

The U.S. embassy in Port-au-Prince and U.N. representatives are trying to extract an American citizen, Paul Waggoner, from prison in Haiti. Waggoner was arrested on December 13; he and Paul Sebring are the co-founders of the Materials Management Relief Corps, an NGO organized in the aftermath of the January 12 earthquake.

According to MMRC’s press contact, Nanci Murdock, the charge is abduction, and stems from an incident in the aftermath of the earthquake. Waggoner accepted an injured baby from a family and admitted it to a hospital in Port-au-Prince. The baby died; in the chaos, the family never received the body or a death certificate. In addition to this, according to the MMRC, upon their return home, the family came to believe that whoever had taken their baby had “taken it,” meaning in the spiritual sense.

The family filed charges that were thrown out earlier this year. Later, they went to a different judge, who issued an arrest warrant. The charges this time around have also apparently been tossed — at least, the prosecutor has indicated that the charges may be dropped — but, according to Murdock, Waggoner has now essentially “been kidnapped.” The NGO has expended $2,000 in legal fees so far.

Waggoner has been updating his Facebook status from his cell. According to his updates, he was in a very small cell with a group of other men, but now he’s got one all to himself. A hearing will take place today.

Stephen Kosloff is a photographer in New York who recently traveled to Haiti.

This probably deserves a mention: Paul Simonon of The Clash — punk’s most beautiful bassist — turns 55 today.

“When I was being Twisted, I just went full tilt, like I was racing to a finish line. But when I got there, I realized there really is no finish line. I have a life to live. For kids in rock ’n’ roll, if you’re not Elton John or Billy Joel — which is most of us — that’s where you crash and burn.”
 — Dee Snider, currently appearing in the Broadway musical Rock of Ages, talks to the Times about rising and falling and coming back, as a rock star. “Being rich and famous is hard,” he says, “but being poor and famous is hell.” Kind of makes you think of The Wrestler.

Since Bill Clinton finished up running the White House last Friday, this morning he’s on the way to Haiti, to clean up after Sarah Palin. Over the weekend, Palin made a shocking call for aid to Haiti, suggesting that “U.S. aid perhaps being lifted.” She went on: “Again — not to get political — but if some of the politicians would come here and see the conditions, perhaps they would see a need for, say, a military airlift to come bring supplies that are so needed here.” That is such a good idea she has! A military airlift you say. Maybe Bill Clinton will bring some aid with him, for the first time ever that anyone has done such! In any event, at 2 p.m. at the UN Log Base in Port-au-Prince, Clinton will actually talk to the press and discuss, you know, this stunning new idea of helping Haiti.

Walking my kid to school this morning, shivering, frustratedly yanking him away from the patches of “snow” he was so desperate to walk through, I was amazed by how many people were riding their bikes over the same slippery, ice-frozen streets. All bundled up in bulky coats, exhaling visible breath through the scarves wrapped around their faces, some of them carting their own kids in specially designed second-seats. There they were, peddling along, getting to work, clumsily negotiating a very-difficult-to-negotiate terrain and traffic, making better time than I was. (Though, to be sure, I did not envy them. They all seemed to have expressions on their faces that said, “What in God’s name am I doing riding a bicycle today?”) So today was the day it became clear, to me at least, that New York City is actually going to become a bicycle city. It’s like the part in Godfather II, when Michael sees the revolutionary blow himself up in Cuba, and knows the government’s going to fall. You can’t fight that kind of commitment.

Personally, I am opposed. If people want to ride a bike, they should live in Portland or San Diego or someplace. Someplace more spread out. New York’s too crowded for bicycling. I know that it’s better for the environment, and probably a good thing, overall, for the world and everything, if more people biked. But I think the city should be for walkers, first and foremost, and it’s too confusing to have to pay attention to another thing, moving at another speed, while you’re crossing the street. (Or worse, up on the sidewalk. Don’t get me started.) It’s enough having to deal with cars and the baby strollers and the skateboarders and everything else out there whizzing around at different speeds.

I actually think bicycles should be banned in New York City. Or at least, Manhattan. In fact, all other vehicles besides delivery trucks (which we need to bring delicious food to our excellent restaurants) and taxis and buses should be banned, too. (Dogs, too, actually. For similar pedestrian-centric reasons.) I realize this is a radical stance. It’s probably the only thing that keeps me from being mayor.

But with the real-life mayor pushing so hard for more bike lanes (and there are already so many!) and less car traffic (which I support!) and a biking populace so eager to change the world for the better and keep themselves fit while doing it, I can see which direction the wind is blowing. The bikers will live longer than me. And be in better shape to fight. So what to do to make the best of it?

One of the big problems I have with the growing number of bicyclists can probably be solved pretty easily. It is the shouting. Too many times, while walking in a park or by the river or on a bridge, where leisurely walkers share space with people speed-biking for exercise, I’ve been startled by a loud, barked, “Hey!” or “Watch it!” or even a command of “Move!” as a helmeted jocko flies past in a startling blur of technicolor spandex. Now, I know this is for my benefit as much as the loud-voiced bikers’. It’s important that we let each other know where we are. It’s certainly preferable to a collision. But it’s rude. (“Move!”? Excuse me? You move.) The whistles are horrible, too. (Shit! It’s the cops!) The bells are better, but they sound too much like something from “Mr. Rogers’ Neighborhood” to be taken as seriously as they should be. Maybe someone could invent a contraption wherein the push of handlebar button would emit a loud, but not too loud, recording of a more pleasant voice (soothing soothing, but classy, like Kristin Scott Thomas, maybe, or Cate Blanchett or something) issuing a more polite warning. “Excuse me, friend, on your left,” or “Beg your pardon, but if it wouldn’t be too much to ask, might you be able to step to the side?” Or maybe something as simple as, “I am here, I am here with you.”

Or, hey, maybe just this recording:

That would be a compromise I could live with. Good ol’ Freddie, providing a better way to alert pedestrians to the presence of fast-moving, flat-bottomed health-nuts. A better way to make the rockin’ world, and our overcrowded but ever-more environmentally conscious city, go ‘round.