Posts tagged as The Fucking Moon
Frenchman Disappointed By Moon
"I think our generation is obsessed with the moon. When we were children, we were told that in the year 2000 we’d be in spaceships and living on the moon. Nothing like that happened. We felt betrayed. Now people stay home in front of the screen. But when we were kids we were supposed to be out of our home, out in space. So I feel like when I make records, I keep the dream alive." READ MORE
Moon Ugly
Click here if you want to see a photo of an ugly, useless bunch of rock that loiters about our orbit hoping to be noticed even though it DESERVES NOTHING BUT SCORN. And here it is trying to look deep and soulful. IT'S NOT WORKING, you pretentious piece of junk.
Yes, Let's Make The Moon Part Of America
As someone with a very serious interest in seeing Newt Gingrich at the top of the Republican ticket, I was initially disheartened by his recent promise to put an American base on the moon that would eventually become a state. The idea that the moon—a giant piece of space garbage which even Science has admitted is completely worthless—might get itself two (no doubt obstructionist) Senators and a representative in the House is almost too much to take, because it is the moon. It deserves nothing but scorn and pillage. But then I remembered that Republican industrial and environmental policies are essentially designed to promote exploitation and decay, and I suddenly realized that, yes, we should ABSOLUTELY put a base on the moon, and then do to it what we're doing to our own planet. Go Newt! READ MORE
Misguided Science Types Somehow Convinced Moon Worth Preserving
Oh, by all means, let's try and preserve all the VALUABLE HISTORY on the moon. It's SO IMPORTANT that all the footprints and garbage we left up there on previous visits remain intact. Lord knows the moon can't do anything for itself, because it's so USELESS. Ugh, stupid moon! Don't you know it's not going to make a difference once we finally come to our senses and blow you into little tiny chunks of utter worthlessness?
Moon Useless
Hahahaha, suck it, moon! Even your supposedly unique minerals can be found right here on earth! What are you good for, moon? Apart from mockery, NOTHING!
Stupid Moon Might Actually Be Two Stupid Moons
Look, we are at this point HOURS AWAY from the winter break. Please do not make me consider the possibility that Earth has two moons. I mean, it actually makes sense, in that the one moon we see all the time is A USELESS PIECE OF GARBAGE THAT CLEARLY CANNOT PULL ITS WEIGHT, but really, I'm SO TIRED RIGHT NOW. I just... can't.
Moon Pics
Here are a series of pictures in which people appear to be doing things to the moon. Sadly, none of those things are pounding it in the dark side with such ferocity and single-minded intensity that it crumples into a corner and begs for more because it has finally realized that you are right about it being a totally worthless satellite that is not even good enough for reflective light purposes and it can only find any degree of validation and self-esteem through your firm and vigorous ministrations. But the one where it looks like someone is playing basketball with it is pretty cool. [Via]
Heartless Moon Just Messing Around With People Now
"Hertfordshire Police have released the audio of a male 999 caller reporting a bright UFO 'coming towards him' in his back garden, only to ring back minutes later to declare that its presence was in fact entirely explainable.... When asked by the call handler what he had seen, the man replied sheepishly: 'You're not going to believe this, you're not going to believe it, it's the moon.'"
What's The Deal With Moon Doody?
What happened to the doody that astronauts left on the moon? NASA wants to know. So do I! Hopefully it became some kind of genetically-altered doody monster whose sole mission is to eat the moon piece by piece until it disappears completely. But enough about my dreams.
The Story Of The Moon
"A rock thought to date from the moon's formation points to the satellite being about 200 million years younger than previously calculated, suggesting its history may need to be rewritten." Oh really? Let me handle that for you! READ MORE
