Posts Tagged: Olympics
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Is Sitting On My Ass In Front Of The TV Going To Help Me Lose Weight?

"Can Watching the Olympics Make Us Fitter?"

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Sochi Olympics Photo—Or Site-Specific Contemporary Art Installation?

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Russian Gymnast "Divas" and Other Shady NBC Tropes

"NBC… produced fluff pieces that made Deva and Round Lake, the Romanian and Russian team training centers, look like Dickensian orphanages where families abandoned their athletically gifted children—while showing America's Dominique Moceanu playing on a seesaw." —MMM HMM. It's been like this for ages, but it was really particularly hard to enjoy yesterday's amazing Olympics gymnastics with the high level of broadcast idiocy going on!

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London Forgot to Round Up All Its Poors

Armed with a thermal map produced by a flyover in March, Christine Lyons, chief planning enforcer of the London borough of Newham, is searching for unlawful “sheds with beds,” as the borough council calls them. There are as many as 10,000 outbuildings where people may live illegally in the 14-square- mile East End district, she says. Raids have found as many as four people sleeping in a single backyard shed and sharing a filthy shower and toilet that aren’t always properly connected to the sewage system.

Nothing like a ten-billion-dollar sporting event next door to make you feel bad about your poors.

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Wenlock And Mandeville No More Creepy Than Other Residents Of Knifecrime Island

Oh, right, the mascots for the London Olympic Games. These are them! Meet Wenlock and Mandeville.

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Gays 4 Bobsleigh

Here is a very homosexualist post-Olympics appreciation of the men of bobsleigh land (including Australia's Duncan Harvey, whose favorite bands are Bon Jovi and Guns 'n' Roses, rowr), ending with a call for a "calendar of naked bobsledders" and the caveat that if you put up one of the few hot bobsleigh chunkos in December, it'll make "Christmas merry for shrieking, starstruck fatsos everywhere." God bless the bears and their enthusiasts, and hoorah for bobsleigh. I miss the Olympics now even though I was sick of them.

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The Inevitable Adolf Hitler Reaction To Last Night's USA Hockey Victory Over Canada

Has anyone done one of these yet where Hitler is outraged that it's been 24 hours since some kind of "significant" event and there hasn't been a Downfall parody of it uploaded to the Internet yet? Because that could be kind of funny. Anyway, here ya go. [Via]

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Everyone's Looking At Your Dick In The Locker Room

When I played hockey as a kid in the '70s and '80s, I used to love watching the Olympics, where the game was faster and less constrained than the National Hockey League version; the ice surface was bigger and there was less tolerance in the international rules for the kind of grabbing, holding, and fighting that used to really slow things down in the N.H.L. I always thought of myself as more of a "finesse" player than a fighter, so the game as played in the Olympics seemed like a perfect reflection of who I wanted to be, both on and off the ice, and I can still summon some [...]

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This Year's Weirdest Rejected Olympic Sport

Have you ever been in a strange city for, say, just one day, but you decide you're going to make the most of it and see all of that city's Things To See? So you get a map and you rush from museum to public art installation to famous park to site of historical event to tallest skyscraper to point of high elevation where you can see all those other things. By the end of the day you've torn your map and are exhausted and thirsty and disillusioned because the Empire State Building is basically a medium-ugly art deco office building.

Do that on skis, on the side of [...]

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Chewy Balls: The Steroids Of Antiquity

"Forget anabolic steroids in easy-to-swallow tablets, or EPO in clean syringes. Ancient Olympic dopers got their pre-Games hormone boost from chewing on raw animal testicles."

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Men Will Have To Perv Out To Something Else Besides Beach Volleyball

"FANS of women’s beach volleyball were distraught last night after it was revealed competitors may have to hide their curves at the Olympics. Bad weather could deny male spectators the sight of tanned and toned athletes cavorting in bikinis."

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2012 London Olympics Mascot Announced: Artist's Rendering!

We already knew that London's Olympic Stadium would be literally made of knives. Now the London 2012 chairman Sebastian Coe has hinted at the identity of the mascots for these coming Olympics: they will be "made of steel" and they will be "aimed at children." Oh dear. Let's take a look at the proposed designs for the stadium and the mascot!

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Odd Man Rush: Team Canada Settles For Gold

It was supposed to be a Canada-Russia Olympic final-with a subplot of Sidney Crosby vs. Alexander Ovechkin-continuing an international hockey rivalry that really began in 1972 with the epic Summit Series (a series that made Paul Henderson, and his shot heard round the world, a national hero forever).

But then, the US shocked Canada 5-3 in the preliminary round. "Fluke," every Canadian fan nervously thought, as their team outplayed and outshot the Americans 45-23. However, in Sunday's wonderful gold medal game, coach Ron Wilson's young underdog squad played the mighty, talented Canadians dead even.

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Aww, Okay: Lindsey Vonn FTW!

Hey, Lindsey Vonn won a gold in women's downhill! Even I, who dislikes both sports and winning, sort of admire this.

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A Web Series To Watch While NBC Refuses To Show You The Olympics

High Maintenance // Matilda from Janky Clown Productions on Vimeo.

NBC has an exclusive deal in the States to show the Olympics. Right now, as I write this, the Olympic Opening Ceremonies are happening live in Sochi. I just learned that there is a country called Dominica, which is geographically close to but not the same as the Dominican Republic. Cool fact! But it's the kind of cool fact I had to learn through a garbage bootleg BBC stream originating in Estonia or Mars or something because NBC is waiting another eight hours to show the Opening Ceremonies. (Right now, NBC is airing the Steve Harvey [...]

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If the Olympics Has Taught Us Anything, It's…

Straight men don't really know anything about penises, because they never see any. Except apparently for Gawker's John Cook, who really knows from cock.

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Team Jordyn

"The former Soviet Union used to get around this rule by faking an injury to one of the qualified athletes. Back in 1992—when the top three per country advanced to the all-around final—pre-meet favorite Tatiana Gutsu fell off the beam and failed to make the top three on the powerful Unified Team. So the team simply claimed that Roza Galieva had a knee injury and subbed in Gutsu, who ended up winning the whole competition. It was only a few years later that Galieva herself revealed that she in fact had not been injured."

If you were peeved for U.S. Olympic gymnast Jordyn Wieber not making the cut yesterday, [...]

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What Can China Teach London About a "Harmonious Society"?

Tonight, at PowerHouse Arena, it is the Brooklyn Launch Party for Tom Scocca's Beijing Welcomes You, a nonfiction chronicle of what Beijing has so recently become. As China is now (well, as usual) so much in the news, we asked him some questions!

Choire Sicha: Tom Scocca, as you have written a book called Beijing Welcomes You: Unveiling the Capital City of the Future, which is brand new and good and also a book I have read, you are the only expert on China.* (*That I personally know.) Is this a great week for China or what?

Tom Scocca: If you set aside the fact that all [...]

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Anish Kapoor's Insane Olympic Tower

Holy Jesus, they're really going to build this Anish Kapoor structure in London for the Olympics. Higher than the Statue of Liberty! I unabashedly love Kapoor and think he's a genius and this is kind of amazing-bonkers! I wish it wasn't red though? But that's useful, because it'll disguise all the blood from the many knifecrimes that shall occur upon it.

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Iced Out: The End is Near–the Medal Count, Less So

South Korean darling Kim Yu-na was an absolute stunner last night in the ladies free skate, shattering her own world record score and twirling her way to the gold. Aerial ski jumper Jeret Peterson-known assonantly as "Speedy"-landed a "Cirque du Soleil on skis" move called the Hurricane that he had not successfully stuck in competition since 2007; he won a silver. The Canadian women's hockey team boozily Owned The Podium (and almost Drove The Zamboni) after winning their third Olympic gold. And still, all I could think about as I lounged on the couch and let the NBC broadcast team play cat's cradle with my heartstrings [...]