Ever wanted to run an independent bookstore? Maybe one in picturesque rural Virginia, in October and November? Now's your chance.

The owners of Tales of the Lonesome Pine used bookstore in Big Stone Gap (pop. 5,400) have put out a call for a bookstore-sitter. They will provide lodging and provisions in exchange for the bookstore-sitter keeping the store's doors open for two months.

—BRB!!! (Nice folks!)

Beyonce was dreaming that a white wolf was chasing her through a shopping mall. She’d escaped a room in the mall where someone was being tortured by bureaucrats, and now was running in a state of panic, trying to stay on the lookout for their spies. The wolf was at least five feet long and probably weighed 200 pounds. He had run up the escalator from the food court as Beyonce was passing, and snarled at her.

So here is a terrifying new scientific advance: using electrodes surgically implanted in the brains of medical patients, a UCLA neuroscientist named Dr. Moran Cerf says he has successfully monitored people's thoughts.

"For a study released last week in the journal Dreaming, [some research guy] sampled 670 people, mostly university students, two-thirds of whom were females. He had them complete surveys about the intensities of their dreams, how often their dreams contained specific themes (such as flying, being chased, suffocation, and so on), and personality traits. They also indicated how often they slept on their sides, face up (supine), or face down (prone) on a five point scale from 'never' to 'almost every time.' When he analyzed the numbers, he found that the prone sleepers, as a group, were much more likely to score highly on what he calls the Dream Motif [...]

Sure, why the hell not: "Knut, arguably the world's most famous polar bear, will be remembered as a dreamer."

So after Thursday's barn-burner (Ep. 18492, "The Burning Barn") how were the folks who program Alex Balk's subconscious going to resolve the cliffhangers that got us all so worked up? Longtime viewers will not be surprised to learn that there were no simple solutions. In fact, they dispensed with the barn altogether, and returned to an old stand-by: the high school unpreparedness scenario.

Does a beekeeper dream about her bees? What does a porn star dream about when she's not at work? How about teachers, lawyers and people with office jobs—are they stuck with the same boring work-dream loops as the rest of us, or do their dreams reveal something unexpected about how they spend their days? To find out, we asked eleven people of various occupations, including, yes, a beekeeper and a porn actress, as well as a farmer, a forensic scientist, a waitress, a screenwriter and a live-tv captioner, to tell us about the very best and worst dreams they've had about their jobs.

So apparently the most common anxiety dreams are about "being chased or attacked," "falling or drowning" and being unprepared for an exam. But what about the one where you're sitting at the bar with all your friends and suddenly you look over and their faces have all melted off but instead of skulls they now resemble the puppets from the early '80s television series "The Great Space Coaster" and they start singing Desmond Dekker's "Israelites" to you, and just as you're about to seriously freak out the scene suddenly changes and you're at the dentist's office waiting for some horrible but undetermined procedure and all there is to [...]