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Is there an NYC "I hate/ don't do well with Christmas" support group? Need to talk thru some ish.less than a minute ago via webJulie Klausnerjulieklausner

Awl pal Julie Klausner expresses a sentiment so many of us are feeling right now. I think it may have something to do with all the enforced happiness. Also, the inescapable torture of Andy Williams' exhortation about it being the most wonderful time of [...]

Those of you heading out to do last minute shopping today may come across a Spencer's. The gift store has been around for more than 60 years. The retailer's 600-plus stores are still mainstays in many of America's shopping malls, providing each new generation of 12-year-old boys with giggles. It's almost a quaint American icon! Except, not really.

Clearly, it's going to be this kind of week, but in any event, please "enjoy" this story about a guy whose Christmas display is apparently upsetting members of his community who don't think that the spirit of the season is best represented by Jesus gunning down Santa. Also: Isn't this how "South Park" got started?

"About ten years ago, I was doing a weekend of Christmas concerts, accompanied by a fine regional symphony in California… Minutes before I walked onstage the second night, a nervous representative of the orchestra board appeared in my dressing room to tell me that my program was 'too Jewish.' Wow, I thought, who knew that orchestra management played practical jokes on artists moments before their shows? My laughter turned to disbelief when the stuttering gentleman said that there had, in fact, been complaints." -Michael Feinstein, the popular standards singer who looks so much like a cross between Barry Manilow and Jimmy Fallon, has an op-ed in the [...]

Buzzfeed ranks the ten most depressing Christmas songs. Surprisingly, "I'll Be Home For Christmas" does not make the cut.

Here is the world's worst holiday gift guide, from the Washington Post. Bubble bath! Mediocre wingtips! (Here's a hint: if you're going to spend more $550 on wingtips for men, then you can afford to go to John Lobb and get proper ones.) And? Says one gift-giver: "My female friends are getting amazingly colorful one-size-fits-all muumuus I found in Bali." That is from boutique-owner Christopher Reiter, who is going to have zero female friends as of December 26th.

Christmas is nearly upon us and, with all its commercialism and saccharine rituals, it's all too easy to forget the true meaning of the season. Thankfully, the sanctity of this glorious holiday is still appreciated in parts of Germany and Austria where good, hardworking folk remember that Christmas isn't merely about the gifts; it’s about dressing up like a cloven-hoofed demon, terrifying children with violent, demonic folklore and drinking 180-proof licorice-flavored liquor until you puke.

Americans as a whole may be too lazy to steal, but North Pole denizens are still on their game. Merry Christmas!

"My advice does not contradict the Bible's eighth commandment because God's love for the poor and despised outweighs the property rights of the rich. Let my words not be misrepresented as a simplistic call for people to shoplift. The observation that shoplifting is the best option that some people are left with is a grim indictment of who we are. Rather, this is a call for our society no longer to treat its most vulnerable people with indifference and contempt." -Father Tim Jones, a vicar from Yorkshire, England, who delivered a sermon on Sunday in which he suggested that those in desperate need steal from large chain stores rather [...]