"I love Beyonce as much as the next guy, but I’ve never believed her. And I guess that’s something they hadn’t realized back in 2003 – the artificiality is part of the deal."
Beyonce was dreaming that a white wolf was chasing her through a shopping mall. She’d escaped a room in the mall where someone was being tortured by bureaucrats, and now was running in a state of panic, trying to stay on the lookout for their spies. The wolf was at least five feet long and probably weighed 200 pounds. He had run up the escalator from the food court as Beyonce was passing, and snarled at her.
Here is the new video for Beyonce's great song, "1+1." It's pretty much the same video as the old video for Billy Idol's great song "Eyes Without a Face."
"Narcissism, research shows, is on the rise…. Nathan DeWall, a psychologist at the University of Kentucky, has come to the same conclusion based on quite a different avenue of research. DeWall and his colleagues analyzed the lyrics of songs on the Billboard Hot 100 Chart from 1980 to 2007. They found a statistically significant trend toward narcissism in the music, with the words 'I' and 'me' gradually replacing 'we' and 'us.' Recent examples of narcissism in popular songs include Justin Timberlake's 2006 proclamation, 'I'm bringing sexy back,' and Beyoncé's 2005 line, 'It's blazin', you watch me in amazement.'"
By way of eulogy to the dying animal that is the Diva, my crack team of consultants, statisticians and graphic designers have assembled DIVA-OFF 2010, a highly scientific (we used computers!) evaluation of the greatest divas of the past twenty-five years. A list of divas was evaluated on eleven levels of diva-ness, and, because each diva characteristic is not created equal, we scaled the values in the hopes of creating an aggregate diva number that will serve as a reference point for future generations.
Here is why we needed to do this. On April 14, 1998, at the Beacon Theater in New York City, VH1 put on a [...]
As previously threatened, here is Liza Minnelli's interpretation of Beyoncé's "Single Ladies (Put A Ring On It)," which was put together for the Sex And The City sequel. I… I just don't know if it's camp, or meant to not really be listened to outside of the context of whatever scene it's in, or just the end product of a lot of really bad decisions by people drunk with consumerism-driven power. But I will say this: One of the thoughts I had while listening to it was, "Hmm, so, is this better or worse than the Chipettes' version?" I still can't decide the answer to that one, [...]
Natasha: Can I ask you something?
Natasha: Do you 'get it'?
Natasha: Like Gaga overall.
Choire: I *largely* get it. I mean, obviously I groove on the, I guess, excitement level? And I don't despise the music, although it's remarkably unremarkable. But I get it!
Here's the new Beyonce video, which is also an H&M commercial, part of their Beyonce as Mrs. Carter campaign. It's pretty much like any other Beyonce video, except with far less expensive costumes.
Entering into the well-known "nesting" stage of pregnancy, Beyonce doesn't seem to be doing much lately except staying around the house and making terrific, high-end music videos. Three weeks after "Countdown" had us all WHOOHOO-BEYONCE!!!-ing, here she is mowing the lawn behind her trailer home at midnight in a yellow fur coat and bikini bottoms. It's a shame the video is not the version of this song that features a typically phenomenally guest verse from Andre 3000. But J. Cole is okay, too. And WHOOHOO-BEYONCE!!!
And here is Beyoncé covering Prince's "The Beautiful Ones" (and Kings of Leon's "Sex on Fire" (whatever)) this weekend. She's been doing this on tour for a bit (and covering Prince for a couple of years, and of course she performed "Purple Rain" with him in 2004) but this is the first really stellar recording of this; I would describe this as LIFE-CHANGING. Stop work, put your headphones on, etc. I do wish she hadn't switched the genders in the lyrics though. (via, previously)
When something as significant as the release of Beyoncé's first new single in two years happens, everyone on the internet seems to feel the need to share their opinions and expert criticisms, this website included. But as we racked our brains trying to figure out what to do for it, this video review by The Skorpion Show crossed our paths and articulated everything and anything we would ever hope to say, but better and more sincerely than we ever could. It should also be noted that this video is a response to the demo version of the song that leaked yesterday, and not the official version that came out [...]
13. "The sun is shining everyday, but it's far away / Over the world is [unintelligible syllable that sounds like 'blehhh']" ("The sun is shining everyday, but it's far away / Over the world is death," from OneRepublic's "All The Right Moves")
Perhaps taking all the Bettie Page references to her hairstyle in the "Video Phone" video to heart, Beyoncé has released a video for "Why Don't You Love Me" in which she plays the retro-pinup role to the hilt, complete with sexily staged household mishaps, a bit where she dusts… her Grammys, bubble-bath interlude, and shots of her smoking. (Gasp!) There is also, oddly, what seems to be an homage to Britney Spears' red-carpet outfit from the 2001 Video Music Awards. The song, however, is quite the banger, even if it was at first sabotaged by the abysmal sequencing of I Am… Sasha Fierce, not to mention the [...]
One day in the early 2000s, I received an unsolicited email from someone I didn't know; if you had an email address then, you probably did too, daily, and most of the time ignored such notes. But there's spam, and then there's spam. It began: "If you are a time traveler or alien disguised as human and or have the technology to travel physically through time I need your help!"
On the TV in the corner of the Village Café, a roadside bar here, President Obama was in the midst of his second inaugural address, but Trish wanted to show off her penis cup. The cup is really a mug with a plastic penis standing erect on the inside. It was a gift to Trish, the daytime bartender, from a patron.
"When I drink from it, my nose touches the tip," Trish said. "And it's great."
I had arrived at the Village Café at the end of a reporting trip. Hungry for a place to watch the inauguration—an event I take seriously and look forward to—with other people, I [...]
Jay-Z's cameraphone video of Beyonce's rehearsal last night. Jesus!
Beyonce may or may not be pregnant—she says she is not, and presumably she would know—but is she Hard-Knock(ed) Life up? See? There is so much to be said about the most anticipated baby in the history of man (sorry, Jesus). But is it worth the inevitable follower loss that would accompany an all-day Tweetathon of nothing but remarks about Beyonce's unborn diva fetus? Well of course it is. Still, in the interests of good social media hygiene, I have instead gathered said Tweets into this compendium, to be consumed all at once. Just like with tapas, it's always super-annoying when they bring out the dishes one at a [...]
Today the ultrasmooth R&B singer-songwriter Ne-Yo released his new single "Beautiful Monster," and it's pretty good — produced by his longtime collaborators Stargate, it's reminiscent of his earlier hit "Closer," only with icier keyboards and a more paranoid outlook. But of course one commenter had to opine that the song was "very Lady Gaga," presumably because it is an uptempo track that uses synthesizers and has the word "monster" in its title. This stray comment from someone named "rambo244" would be funny if this "Gaga already did it"-ism didn't seem to happen with recent output by 99% of pop stars; it would be even funnier if Stefani Germanotta, [...]
"'Sex and the City 2,' due May 25, features Alicia Keys covering Blondie's 'Rapture'… as well as legendary entertainer Liza Minnelli covering Beyonce's "Single Ladies (Put a Ring on It)."