Wednesday, December 18th, 2013
10

The Mystery Of The Whole Foods Giant Bread: Solved

Noted at yesterday's opening of the Gowanus Whole Foods: the dude with the GIANT BREAD. And now we have answers, from one of the lovely Whole Foods employees. (It's a lovely staff there, by the way!)

We love you, dude with the giant bread. We hope your carb coma was incredible.

10 Comments / Post A Comment

jolie (#16)

I hope he died of dysentery from all the germs he transferred from his coat to that bread. (OH MY GOD YOU GUYS. WHY HAS THIS WHOLE FOODS MADE ME THINK SUCH EVIL THOUGHTS???)

@jolie: I like to think he went to Central Park and became God-King of the ducks through his bounty.

jolie (#16)

@brilliantmistake And I like to think he went to Central Park and was pecked to death by overly aggressive pigeons seeking to appropriate his bounty. (I've decided to just go with the evil thoughts and not worry so much about them.)

@jolie: Fair enough. Carry on.

jolie (#16)

@IBentMyWookie Who do you think upthumbed that!??!

Pandemic Endemic (#3,825)

@jolie What are your thoughts on those shopping basket/stroller/cart thingies, like what the lady in the background is pulling behind her?

Because the sight of those things kill my inner Danny Tanner. To me, nothing says Doo Doo Disease Factory like dragging food over the floor in a slotted, plastic death cage. The same floor that people drop packages of raw chicken thighs on. The same floor that fake guide dogs slobber and fart on. The same floor that shoppers track Gowanus muck on. I'm sure you get the picture, and want to wipe it from your mind with some vinegar-based cleaners.

jolie (#16)

@Pandemic Endemic I hate those things so fucking much I can't not swear when writing/talking/thinking about them—I've really worked VERY hard on the whole not-swearing thing in 2013 and done quite well at it, actually, but sweet cunt-licking Christ do I ever hate those God damned wheeled baskets.

danbo (#8,510)

does anyone know what's up with that cool-looking building that is falling apart right in front of this whole foods?

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