Friday, November 22nd, 2013

The 50 Best Versions Of "Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas," In Order

50. Twisted Sister (H)

49. Tamar Braxton (H)

Lyric Legend:
M - “Until then we’ll have to muddle through somehow” used
H – “Hang a shining star upon the highest bough” used
M/W - Both used

48. John Denver & The Muppets (H)

47. Christina Aguilera (H/M)

46. Jessica Simpson (H)

45. Michael Bolton (H)

44. Neil Diamond (H)

43. Joe (H)

42. Clay Aiken (H)

41. Kelly Clarkson (H)

40. John Travolta & Olivia Newton John (H)

39. Captain & Tennille (H)

38. Scott Weiland (M)

37. Sufjan Stevens (H)

36. Kermit the Frog (H)

35. Rosemary Clooney (H)

34. Kenny G (N/A)

33. Vince Gill (H)

32. The Jackson 5 (H)

31. She & Him (H)

30. Sandi Patty (H)

29. Martina McBride (H)

28. Toby Keith (H)

27. Rod Stewart (H/M)

26. Shawn Colvin (H)

25. Carly Simon (H)

24. Susan Boyle (M)

23. Patti LuPone (H)

22. Keyshia Cole (H)

21. Colbie Caillat (H)

20. Sarah McLachlan (H)

19. Whitney Houston (H)

18. Mannheim Steamroller (N/A)

17. Johnny Mathis (H)

16. Robert Goulet (H)

15. Doris Day (M)

14. Luther Vandross (H)

13. Michael Buble (H)

12. Monica (H)

11. Christina Perri (H)

10. Bette Midler (H/M)

9. Aimee Mann (H)

8. James Taylor (M)

7. Bing Crosby (M/H)

6. Mel Torme (M/H)

5. Ella Fitzgerald (M)

4. Frank Sinatra (H)

3. Amy Grant (H)

2. The Carpenters (H)

1. Judy Garland (M)

Bobby Finger dares you.

19 Comments / Post A Comment

That this is even possible mildly blows my mind.

Mr. B (#10,093)


hockeymom (#143)

I can not quibble with your first two choices.
But Bing Crosby behind Amy Grant?

Brunhilde (#1,225)

@hockeymom I see no way that drugs were *not* involved in the making of a playlist consisting of 50 versions of the same song.

Bitzy (#1,913)

@hockeymom There is no possible way Bing Crosby is not in the top three. It's science.

Tuna Surprise (#573)

Bing Crosby owns that song. Also, it's a family tradition to play Bing Crosby Christmas songs and then my dad will do a great impression of Bing saying things like "Hey kids, Merry Christmas, now go outside and cut a switch I can beat you with." It's a great way to keep the spirit of the season.

ekates (#91,193)

I got really nervous that you left James Taylor off and the poof, there he was. Phew.

barnhouse (#1,326)

Don't get mad, but my favorite one is by Chris Martin.

KarenUhOh (#19)

I'm sorry. Bobby Finger? Where is Nat King Cole, Bobby Finger? You have Michael Buble*, whom, I believe, it is a Federal law cannot be on any list with the word "best" in it, but you have left off Nat Fucking Cole?

Tell me I missed it. Tell me it was late; or now it's early, and he's actually there. Rather than Michael Bubbly*.

I'm sorry, Bobby Finger. You cannot make any more lists.

* Also cf. Kenny G. You should have your Bobby Fingers removed near keyboards.

Ryan Tate (#5,672)

@KarenUhOh AGREED!

(Have Yourself a Racist Little Christmas, is more like it.)

(That was probably out of line but Nat King Cole donated the dining lodge at my favorite summer/winter camp as a kid. Bobby Finger gets a lump of coal.)

Put all the (H)s together and you have a handy list of singers of this song who can go fuck themselves. (I guess except Aimee Mann.)

Bittersweet (#765)

@Lindsay Robertson Except John Denver and the Muppets, they get a pass. (And should be much higher up this list to boot.)

Magic Jewball (#253,173)

No Pretenders???!!!???? (assorted other punctuation)

Kevin Knox (#4,475)

@Magic Jewball And yet, as KarenUhOh has pointed out, Kenny Fucking G. made the list… Does not seem legit.

Goulet got jobbed.

Anarcissie (#3,748)

The reigning aesthetic seems to be a very narrow form of classicism — narrow to the point of severe ennui, which indeed is what most of the Christmas Thing is like now. Could we not regress to traditional drunkenness and automobile crashes, or even further to now-obscure religious performances, and thereby at least gain a sort of renewed folk vitality?

humshush (#254,902)

This is one of my favorite Christmas song of all times. Renditions have been made by many artists but for me Judy Garland's version is my favorite, Frank Sinatra's comes next. I also have a copy of "Meet Me in St. Louis" the musical film where is was first introduced.

I think the reviewer hasn't heard Diana Krall's Christmas album. Her version of the song should be included in the Top 10. Shame!!

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