Saturday, January 12
At Denver -9.5 Baltimore
We all know that Ray Lewis can still dance.
But catch a sure interception? Fat chance.
He looks like RoboCop with that arm brace.
And half a season out has slowed his pace.
Can the Ravens win? It’s up to Flacco.
Picking them here might seem kinda wacko.
Mile High Stadium air is pretty thin
And old guys tend to get tired therein.
Peyton Manning leads a vicious attack.
He gets five touchdowns from flat on his back.
Knowshon Moreno can carry the ball
Will the Purple Guys stand up like dry wall?
Against the Ravens defense I won’t bet.
And with all these points I wouldn’t fret yet. PICK: RAVENS
At San Francisco -3 Green Bay
I just always pick against the Packers
For I’m a loyal Patriot-backer.
And I’ll never forgive that Super Bowl
Beatdown we took until I’m really old.
But the Pack has turned their season around.
And the Niners look a little unsound.
Colin Kaepernick makes exciting plays
But Clay Matthews eats rookies like pate.
Will the Niners' D stop an MVP?
Aaron Rodgers can get the big TDs.
I’ll take the points and so also the Pack.
Something tells me they will pay my trust back.
Rookie Quarterbacks tend to make mistakes
And miracles come to cheeseheads who wait. PICK: PACKERS
Sunday, January 13
At Atlanta -2.5 Seattle
Matt Ryan’s never won a playoff game.
His efforts in the playoffs come up lame.
The Georgia Dome doesn’t scare anyone.
The Seahawks’ 12th Man might have some real fun.
Seattle can put up 55 points
And a big win their rushers can anoint.
The Falcons running game is very weak
Michael Turner is either dead or asleep.
If Roddy White can be stopped going deep
Russell Wilson gets to the top of the heap.
Marshawn Lynch is like a crazy green jeep
It takes 11 guys to tackle him.
Do not bet on the Falcons, says this Jim. PICK: SEAHAWKS
At New England -9.5 Houston
Sitting out a week makes some teams play flat.
Belichick doesn’t run his crew like that.
With a break they’re practically bulletproof.
Even if Wes Welker is a giant goof.
Tom Brady’s arm is as fine as his ass
And the Pats’ offense is the balls on grass.
Surely the Texans do have a good chance?
Arian Foster gets a touchdown dance.
But can Matt Schaub win a game on the road?
Gillette Stadium is quiet, but cold!
This is a lot of points to give away
But the Patriots love to score cray-cray.
Stevan Ridley, don’t fumble it away!
AFC Championship, hip hooray! PICK: PATS
Football Haikus record for the Regular Season was… incredibly bad. But the post-season is here!
Jim Behrle tweets at @behrle for your possible amusement.