Football Pick Haikus For Week 9

Thursday, November 1

At San Diego -7.5 Kansas City

I’m hoping Chiefs’ star
cornerback Brandon Flowers
gets six pick sixes PICK: CHIEFS

Sunday, November 4


Denver -3.5 At Cincinnati

The Bengals will play
great and then Peyton Manning
will steal their candy. PICK: BRONCOS

At Green Bay -11 Arizona

I’m sick of losing cash
betting against the Green Bay
Packers every week. PICK: PACKERS

Miami -2.5 At Indianapolis

Why do I like the
Colts this year? Everyone loves
an Indydog, right? PICK: COLTS

Baltimore -3.5 At Cleveland

I keep picking “Browns.”
Sadomasochism is
what I’m all about. PICK: BROWNS

At Houston -10 Buffalo

If you gave me ten
points I’d pick my mom and dad
over all the Bills. PICK: BILLS

At Washington -3 Carolina

When hype meets hype the
winner is ESPN
and the booyah guy. PICK: REDSKINS

Detroit -4 At Jacksonville

Lions played great at
home but can they win in an
empty stadium? PICK: LIONS

Chicago -3.5 At Tennessee

The Bears seem destined
for great things and the Titans’
uniforms are crap PICK: BEARS

At Seattle -5 Minnesota

Seahawks love to play
at home because other teams
play so far away. PICK: SEAHAWKS

At Oakland -1.5 Tampa Bay

Pirate mascots
Battle for supremacy
and the wooden leg. PICK: RAIDERS

At NY Giants -3 Pittsburgh

It would be nice to
give the state of New Jersey
something fun to watch. PICK: GIANTS

At Atlanta -4 Dallas

I just get the strange
feeling that Dez Bryant will
get his hand in bounds. PICK: COWBOYS

Monday, November 5

At New Orleans -3.5 Philadelphia

The Eagles couldn’t
beat the cheese whiz out of a
Tony Luke’s cheesesteak. PICK: SAINTS

Last week’s Haiku Picks went 4-10. That’s 50-66-3 for the season. Monkeys do better writing haikus with their feces. We need to go 16-0 to even it up. Sadly, there aren’t 16 games this week.

Jim Behrle tweets at @behrle for your possible amusement.