Wednesday, September 5th, 2012

What Famous People Smell Like

• Tom Ford: "vanilla bean"

• Michelle Obama: "cherries"

• Cher: "a mermaid"

• Kevin Bacon: "a little mix of baby powder and Listerine"

• Rihanna: "coconut and vanilla"

• Gideon Yago: "that clean smell that really young children have, as if they've never been dirty"

• Joanna Angel: "fresh laundry with a hint of menthol"

• Justin Bieber: "a unicorn running through a field of fresh flowers"

• Ron Jeremy: "babies"

• Taylor Swift: "expensive wood"

• Gwyneth Paltrow: "moth balls"

• Heather Donahue: "pine and myrrh and earth and balsam"

• Chad Johnson: "a frat house at 5 A.M."

• Miles Davis: "chicken soup"

• Howard Stern: "death"

• Steven Tyler: "a skunk"

• Anne Hathaway: "nachos and maple syrup"

• Matthew Fox: "a liquor cabinet"

• Steven Spielberg: "a newborn baby:

• Snooki: "King Kong’s you-know-what"

Elon Green is a contributing editor to Longform.

12 Comments / Post A Comment

deepomega (#1,720)

King Kong's Potpourri Dispenser

Graydon Gordian (#3,206)

Does this mean Anne Hathaway smells god awful or heavenly?

cory dodt@twitter (#12,071)

Kevin Bacon doesn't smell like bacon?

God damn it.

lobstrosity (#237,720)

@cory dodt@twitter I've had the misfortune to smell Kevin Bacon, and he smells like bourbon and desperation. I too was extremely disappointed.

Moon-bat (#8,662)

@lobstrosity NO.
Nonononononono. You take that back. Kevin Bacon smells like baby powder and listerine.
I spent every morning of frikkin eleventh grade getting ready for school while my VHS of "Footloose" played in the background, and would run up to a skidding stop in front of the tv at the part where he says, "JUMP back", and DAMMIT HE IS GOING TO SMELL LIKE BABY POWDER AND LISTERINE DO YOU HEAR ME?!?!

lobstrosity (#237,720)

@Moon-bat …I'm sorry! I can't concede. He was drunk and hitting on 13 year old girls! It was seriously awful. But maybe he woke up the next day totally smelling like baby powder and Listerine.

lfrank (#236,549)

is there a difference between how 'vanilla bean' and just plain 'vanilla' smell?

@lfrank That's a good question.

katnotcat (#10,431)

@lfrank Vanilla bean smells more expensive, I imagine. Tom Ford might use the same Victoria's Secret body spray that every middle class 15 year-old-girl uses, but he also has wealth permeating from his pores and enhancing the scent.

this is nice. or you could just go to

Trilby (#3,897)

Most of these things smell better than what my co-passengers on the subway smell like in the morning: cheap drugstore body sprays, stinky dryer sheets, old deoderant, unwashed underwear, the list goes on… When you are cursed with super powers of smell, the subway is not a pretty place.

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