What Famous People Smell Like

• Tom Ford: “vanilla bean

• Michelle Obama: “cherries

• Cher: “a mermaid

• Kevin Bacon: “a little mix of baby powder and Listerine

• Rihanna: “coconut and vanilla

• Gideon Yago: “that clean smell that really young children have, as if they’ve never been dirty

• Joanna Angel: “fresh laundry with a hint of menthol

• Justin Bieber: “a unicorn running through a field of fresh flowers

• Ron Jeremy: “babies

• Taylor Swift: “expensive wood

• Gwyneth Paltrow: “moth balls

• Heather Donahue: “pine and myrrh and earth and balsam

• Chad Johnson: “a frat house at 5 A.M.

• Miles Davis: “chicken soup

• Howard Stern: “death

• Steven Tyler: “a skunk

• Anne Hathaway: “nachos and maple syrup

• Matthew Fox: “a liquor cabinet

• Steven Spielberg: “a newborn baby:

• Snooki: “King Kong’s you-know-what


Elon Green is a contributing editor to Longform.