How Are You Pretending You're Going To Be Better In 2012?

Have you made any New Year’s resolutions? I have decided that this year, instead of coming up with a long list of things that I am unlikely to achieve, I am going to stick with one simple thing, which I will phrase in the form of a question any time someone makes me angry: “How much of my day am I going to let this asshole ruin?” The asshole in question is Choire. Kidding! It is only occasionally Choire. (Generally on Tuesdays.) But it can be anyone. What I have figured out is if you do a cost-benefit analysis of how much power you want to give to another person over your own mood, you usually realize that nobody is worth that much aggravation and free yourself up to be mad about other things of your own choosing. A special bonus to this question is sometimes it forces you to confront the possibility that you may be the day-ruining asshole, at which point you need to ask yourself, “How much of my day am I going to spend ruining someone else’s?” which, again, is really kind of a waste of time unless the day you’re ruining is Choire’s, because, man, sometimes he really just deserves it. I hate that guy. Anyway, that is my resolution. If you are still coming up with one of your own, here are some questions to ask yourself before you do.

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