Wednesday, January 4th, 2012
15

How Are You Pretending You're Going To Be Better In 2012?

Have you made any New Year's resolutions? I have decided that this year, instead of coming up with a long list of things that I am unlikely to achieve, I am going to stick with one simple thing, which I will phrase in the form of a question any time someone makes me angry: "How much of my day am I going to let this asshole ruin?" The asshole in question is Choire. Kidding! It is only occasionally Choire. (Generally on Tuesdays.) But it can be anyone. What I have figured out is if you do a cost-benefit analysis of how much power you want to give to another person over your own mood, you usually realize that nobody is worth that much aggravation and free yourself up to be mad about other things of your own choosing. A special bonus to this question is sometimes it forces you to confront the possibility that you may be the day-ruining asshole, at which point you need to ask yourself, "How much of my day am I going to spend ruining someone else's?" which, again, is really kind of a waste of time unless the day you're ruining is Choire's, because, man, sometimes he really just deserves it. I hate that guy. Anyway, that is my resolution. If you are still coming up with one of your own, here are some questions to ask yourself before you do.

Photo by pio3, via Shutterstock

15 Comments / Post A Comment

johnpseudonym (#1,452)

It really won't take a lot of effort for me to be better in 2012. There is nowhere to go but up.

mathnet (#27)

I resolve to USE MY VOICE, even if it's hours/days later when I read shit. I miss you!

C_Webb (#855)

@mathnet: I asked about you at the last Bawl! Yes, VOICE, please!

Alex Balk (#4)

@mathnet MATHNET!

hockeymom (#143)

I want to be a nicer person this year.
That is all.

Smitros (#5,315)

I'm trying to pronate less.

davidwatts (#72)

someone on some crap thing i once watched once (ST:TNG? Avatar: The Last Airbender? Something else with a colon?) said, "when you hate someone, you give them a rent-free room in your head." which is why i mostly ignore people who bother me. It's better for everyone.

davidwatts (#72)

@davidwatts also, i resolve to try to be more me, and less who i think other people want me to be. despite the fact that i only say i made resolutions in order to navigate conversations about new year's resolutions.

freetzy (#7,018)

@davidwatts I think Oprah said that, by the way.

Martita (#122,061)

My resolution is to not be so goddamn nice all the time.

deepomega (#1,720)

More naps.

laurel (#4,035)

@deepomega This is my resolution three years running. This and studiously adjusting my red wine intake toward a perfect rate.

2012 is gonna be my year.

dntsqzthchrmn (#2,893)

I will watch more tv.

SuperMargie (#1,263)

The only resolution I made for 2012 is to be nicer to people. That way people can talk about me like "Sure, she smokes, drinks a lot, swears like an Osbourne kid, and she's got kind of a big ass, but she is *so* nice!"

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