The Worst Sounds In The World
15. Death by electrocution, government sanctioned or otherwise.
14. Human or animal run over, hit, or maimed by a car.
13. Civil War surgeon amputating limbs.
12. Guillotine in use; subsequent lopping and dropping.
11. Monkey having its skull bashed open, brains eaten in the name of impotence-curing cuisine.
10. Cannibal chewing on his own penis.
9. Involuntary dual nipple piercing via meat hooks.
8. Bones breaking and/or cracking.
7. Disembowelment (not even Mel Gibson, Freedom!).
6. Human body ejected through the windshield of an automobile.
5. Drawing and quartering.
4. Reanimated corpse biting into your (or a loved one's or a stranger's) neck muscles, jugular vein or assorted sinewy tissues.
3. Hair torn from a scalp, human or otherwise.
2. Frenzied knife-stabbing-a-sandbag sound most often heard in cinematic prison shank scenes, except here.
1. Curb stomp.
Matthew Newton is the publisher/editor at Annals of Americus, a digital journal documenting art and culture in post-empire America. He tweets via @newtonmatthew; has a personal blog too.
Oh thank heavens, I've been looking everywhere for my bucket list.
16. Dads walking around the house, swishing water around in their mouth.
0. An auditorium full of people pulling on their eyelids to make that suction popping sound.
Anita Baker's voice
@jolie annoying peoples' voices
These would also be very bad sights, and sensations, not just SOUNDS.
I can't believe that there are links here. As if I would actually click on anything in this post!
No. 1 is absolutely right, by the way. There is no scene from any movie that I have ever seen (and more importantly, heard) that I wish I had not seen (and more importantly, heard) than that scene. It will haunt me forever and ever.
@Dave Bry So … you clicked the link?
People chewing cereal and then hearing the resulting paste slide down their esophogus.
@Jonathan Doyle@facebook then don't put your stethoscope up to their throats.
Two dry feet rubbed together. At least it drives my son crazy when I do it.
A taxi honking because someone is in the crosswalk, WITH the signal.
That vigorous slapping sound of someone having loud, drunken intercourse in the bed 4 feet away in a tiny hotel in New Orleans. It haunts me a decade later.
Needs more Usher.
Ronald Reagan mouth-breathing.
@HiredGoons Phlegmy coughs in your face on the subway.
@C_Webb: Hacky sneeze by the deli guy making your sandwich.
And a happy holiday to you, too!
That sickening crunch when you accidentally step on a snail shell. Every time I hear it I want to vomit.
George Bush's Voice
@GailPink George H.W., George W. or George P.?
@GailPink George W Bush's heartbeat.
episiotomy. by a million miles.
a cauterizing stylus, mid-surgery.