Thursday, December 15th, 2011

Eggs, In Order

10. Soft boiled
9. Poached
8. Coddled
7. Deviled
6. Hard boiled
5. Sunny side up
4. Shirred
3. Fried
2. Scrambled
1. Omeletted

Earlier: Pizza Toppings, In Order

Photo by ilolab, via Shutterstock

82 Comments / Post A Comment

Actually, it's more like

1. Migas

(I really hate eggs. Discovering my allergy to wheat = breakfast out has become a nightmare.)

C_Webb (#855)

@Maura Johnston: I hate them too. No one ever believes me. If you chase me with a hardboiled egg I will run and cry, and don't even get me started on egg salad.

theheckle (#621)

@C_Webb @Maura Johnston I ALSO hate eggs. However, this list would be acceptable if it just said: 1. Cookies

skywalker (#240,350)

Quality articles is the important to attract the people to pay a visit the website, that�s what this web site is providing. international

Tim Donnelly (#6,230)

these lists are dumb.

so was this comment.

Matt (#26)

0. Eggs.

hman (#53)

@Matt Fucking Beaujon.

keisertroll (#1,117)

Honorable Mention: Inseminated by good Samaritan Trent Arsenault.

keisertroll (#1,117)

Only myself and the Russian Ambassador from Dr. Strangelove seem to be on Team Poached.

freetzy (#7,018)

@keisertroll Poached is my jam too.

tomme (#4,473)

@freetzy Thirded.

dntsqzthchrmn (#2,893)

I'm told poached is the best for you, healthwise, fwiw. (Also, I'm with hazmathilda re: adding hollandaise and canadian bacon.)

migraineheadache (#1,866)

@dntsqzthchrmn Poached for sure. Preferably using the "vortex method" which I like to think of as the "kickflip of the kitchen".

LondonLee (#922)

Poached is #1 for me too, though I do it with a poacher.

mishaps (#5,779)

@keisertroll I love a good poached egg.

hazmathilda (#839)


GailPink (#9,712)

Deviled Eggs should have placed third!

keisertroll (#1,117)

Egg puns were an egg-regious omission.

tomme (#4,473)

@keisertroll My thoughts eggsactly.

carpetblogger (#306)

@tomme I am ova lists

boyofdestiny (#1,243)

@carpetblogger It'll be a cold day in shell before you read another listicle.

LondonLee (#922)

These are the yolks, folks

djfreshie (#875)

@keisertroll I'm way too chicken to add a pun to this thread.

C_Webb (#855)

@djfreshie That's mighty whites of you.

whizz_dumb (#10,650)

@keisertroll Omelet that one slide, but you better crack me up on the flip-side.

Ryan Tate (#5,672)

0. Fizzed

(Not sure how you of all people missed the alcoholic option.)

rina (#3,230)


It's weird how this time you posted the list in order of first to last, and called number 10 number 1.

Myles Tanzer (#13,698)

This list is perfect.

but 0. From a bodega with bacon and cheese on a crusty roll.

willystaley (#7,688)

@Myles Tanzer *when hungover

Rollo (#3,202)

@Myles Tanzer Subtract cheese (who needs it?) and add hot sauce and I'm there.

chevre4evre (#3,871)

@Rollo I am personally offended by this comment.

brent_cox (#40)

Over easy.

whizz_dumb (#10,650)

@brent_cox Over medium.

Rollo (#3,202)

@whizz_dumb Over hard.

willystaley (#7,688)

Basted is notably absent. Or are we conflating Sunny Side Up with Basted? Also: "Fried" is troubling in that it encompasses the whole spectrum from Over Easy (delicious) to Over Hard (unacceptable).

Looks like this will be another seriously controversial Awl list. I respect your courage.

Naterly (#193,938)

@willystaley I've been to several diners that either don't know how to make basted eggs or refuse to make them on grounds that dumping water on the grill ruins the grill. Maybe the runaround you get when you order basted eggs was factored in here?

boyofdestiny (#1,243)

Here's a textbook example of the cowardice and ignorance motivating our decision-making, which Alex Balk himself reminds us of on a near-daily basis. "Omletted" is number 1? Way to take a stand! Are we talking Western omletted? Cheese? Avocado? Greek? Frittata? The vagueness and broadness of this choice is so vast as to render the ranking effectively meaningless. (Much like the toil of our day-to-day struggle to eke out an existence from a cold, pitiless world? Is this an allegory?)

hazmathilda (#839)

@boyofdestiny needs "Omelettes, In Order" list-inside-a-list

@boyofdestiny: Leave Balk Alone. He's a good egg.

just like i like my women – over easy

Tyrantanic (#13,751)

@Byron Durham@facebook i like my women like i like my eggs: drenched in Sriracha

carpetblogger (#306)

@Tyrantanic Hot cock!

petejayhawk (#1,249)

If you really want to know what the best choices of the year were, I put my list up at my site, — it's not just about knitting!

Miles Klee (#3,657)


Mr. B (#10,093)


MythReindeer (#5,553)

Runny yolks or GTFO

boyofdestiny (#1,243)

@MythReindeer Let's have a fight about what type of toast we use to mop it up. If it's not rye, I'll see you outside.

beerd (#194,051)

@boyofdestiny Ooh! Or a war about which end of the egg we crack. Little End! Little End!

ecosalon@twitter (#93,395)

Hmm… scrambled eggs #1.

oudemia (#177)

Not sure how Balk missed "with pork roll on a hard roll."
ETA: Myles, above, didn't miss it, but neglected the correct NJ terminology. Unless you are from a "Taylor ham" part of NJ? Eh, I'm a vegetarian anyway.

boyofdestiny (#1,243)

@oudemia Don't forget the saltpepperketchup

what happened with Over Easy? you are safe here — just tell us.

Brooks (#8,624)

where are over easy and benedict?!

i love a fried egg on a texas, yolk smashed and fried as well. + cheese, mayo, and hot sauce.

jfruh (#713)

@Brooks Your views intrigue me and I'd like to subscribe to your newsletter.

Smitros (#5,315)

With hot sauce. Other feautures optional.

jfruh (#713)

Remember when Gov. Jim Florio defiantly ate runny eggs and became New Jersey's greatest hero? WHERE THE FUCK ARE THE RUNNY EGGS IS WHAT I'M SAYING HERE BALK "SUNNY-SIDE UP" IS NOT SPECIFIC ENOUGH

You, sir, know nothing of soft-boiled eggs.

Charles Bogle (#8,706)


zidaane (#373)


djfreshie (#875)

0. Her?

whizz_dumb (#10,650)

I'm sure that Egg is a very nice person.

Bittersweet (#765)

In bie bim bap. With hot sauce.

Don Is (#10,212)

What about that way they do it in some of the bodegas where it's kind of scrambled but only like 3 or 4 whisks so that the whites and the yolks achieve a sort of yin/yang dual textured wonderfulness? Does that have a name even?

roboloki (#1,724)

country scrambled

roboloki (#1,724)

@roboloki meh, after a quick search i see that country scrambled is something else entirely. i suppose i should have said that when i was a short order cook (way back in the long ago. before teh internets!) when a waitress called out country scrambled i would prepare the eggs just as you've described.

pplmlk (#193,960)

1. Fried, on a burger.

lawyergay (#220)

Coddled, bitches! Number one!

stuffisthings (#1,352)

Good god, EVERY TIME you do one of these I immediately jump into the comments to go "NO!!! WRONG!" and then I get to the bottom and I kind of blink and it's like, what am I even doing here? What has become of my life?

Anyway, stop it you bastard.

Also, poached at No. 9, really?

whizz_dumb (#10,650)


whizz_dumb (#10,650)


12. In a high-school physics' class's egg drop project.
11. Thrown at:
11a. Suburban houses
11b. Politicians

stuffisthings (#1,352)

11. Drop soup.

Aatom (#74)

"Does having a payment model that rewards controversy encourage writers to bait readers with lists of food?"

A Good Question (#182,018)

The top two are the only ways I eat eggs, so this listicle is refreshingly sane. Don't think I've forgotten listing Howard the Duck as the dead last cartoon duck, though. That kind of blasphemy leaves scars.

BardCollege (#2,307)

What kind of New Yorker omits benedicted?

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