Tuesday, November 29th, 2011
16

Names On Birth Certificates Of GOP Presidential Candidates

• Gary Earl Johnson
• Willard Mitt Romney
• Michele Mari Amble
• Ronald Ernest Paul
• James Richard Perry
• Jon Meade Huntsman Jr.
• Richard John Santorum
• Herman Cain
• Newton Leroy McPherson

Abe Sauer's book How to Be: North Dakota – A Guide to the Plains is available now.

Photo by Christopher Halloran, via Shutterstock.

16 Comments / Post A Comment

mmmark (#4,458)

Charles Elson Roemer III

Abe Sauer (#148)

@mmmark +1 (which also happens to be the number of votes Roemer would get). There are literally, like, 120 registrations with the FEC for GOP presidential candidates. gotta draw the line somewhere.

mmmark (#4,458)

@Abe Sauer So true, so true. At least one Economist blogger will be happy you included Johnson.

HiredGoons (#603)

I bet Newt Gingrich was a fat baby.

#babybodysnarking

roboloki (#1,724)

@HiredGoons my baby seems so fat but sometimes i worry about my baby.

zidaane (#373)

Herman 'This is Me, Herman Cain' Cain.

dntsqzthchrmn (#2,893)

Has there ever been a no-middle-name president?

sunnyciegos (#551)

@dntsqzthchrmn Harry S Truman had just the letter.

jfruh (#713)

@dntsqzthchrmn Harry S Truman! [EDIT: GAH BEATEN TO THE PUNCH]

dntsqzthchrmn (#2,893)

Right, but a true NMN-on-the-jurat prexy? Actually, there have been several:

George Washington, John Adams, Thomas Jefferson, James Madison, James Monroe, Andrew Jackson, Martin Van Buren (ha ha), John Tyler, Zachary Taylor, Millard Filmore, Franklin Pierce, Abraham Lincoln, Andrew Johnson, Benjamin Harrison, and William McKinley.

Stephen Grover Cleveland appears to be the only president to go by his middle name.

Sincerely, The Pedant.

keisertroll (#1,117)

@sunnyciegos He originally was Harry S S Truman, but he left off the last S for savings.

Screen Name (#2,416)

Good God. Look what happens when you randomly reassemble these names!

Gary Earl Amble – AKA "The Ypsilanti Vigilante"; convicted in 1974 of killing four parking enforcement officers over a six-week period with a claw hammer.

James Richard Johnson – AKA "Brownfield Bootsnatcher"; convicted in 1944 in a series of 42 home invasion robberies and 56 murders, believed responsible for as many as 60 more. Police reported finding a stash of 161 boots in the crawlspace of his mother's double-wide trailer.

Newton Leroy Romney – AKA "The Monster Mechanic"; mechanic convicted of killing seven people with a wrench in Stone Mountain, GA.; confessed to 19 other murders.

Willard McPherson – AKA "Shotgun Willie"; confessed to shooting six people with a shotgun in a killing spree spanning from October 30, 1990 to December 18, 1990 in Chattanooga, TN.

Michele Ernest Paul – AKA "The Giggling Grandmother"; convicted of murdering three men while in her late 70s; four other acquaintances died suspiciously and four previous husbands committed suicide.

Ronald Huntsman Jr. – AKA "The Burger Chef Big Shef Bomber"; convicted in the bombings of 14 Hardee's restaurants in the greater Evansville, IN area between 1981 and 1982.

Jon Mitt Meade – AKA "The Milwaukee Stalker"; schizophrenic who killed five people in drive-by shootings in the Milwaukee area in 1980 claiming he was acting "on the authority of the beanbag chair."

John Richard Cain – AKA "The Cain of Pain"; killed four people and cannibalized at least one in Columbus, OH in 1971.

Herman Santorum – AKA "Herman Santorum"; believed to have murdered at least eight people in western Pennsylvania between 1986 and 1989; convicted of three.

KristaJulieva (#588)

Call me old-fashioned, but I think one's name ought to be either John or Jonathan, with the latter having the option of being shortened informally to Jon. None of this just-plain-Jon stuff on birth certificates. It's stuff like this that's the gateway to Jhon's and Johnathan's and Jonatan's.

Flaneur (#998)

@KristaJulieva I agree. I knew a guy in college whose full first name was Bob–just not right.

MythReindeer (#5,553)

@KristaJulieva You have all of my internets.

It baffles me why more people don't just call Rick Perry "J.R."

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