Thursday, November 3rd, 2011

Football Pick Haikus For Week 9

Sunday, November 6

Atlanta -7 At Indianapolis
Colts should load up a
truck and after dark move back
to East Baltimore. PICK: FALCONS

At New Orleans -8 Tampa Bay
After the Saints lost
to the hapless Rams I hope
they went to DQ. PICK: SAINTS

At Houston -11 Cleveland
If you believe in
Tinkerbell you have to clap
really, really hard. PICK: BROWNS

At Buffalo -1.5 NY Jets
During their bye week
Jets Coach Ryan polished his
invisible rings. PICK: BILLS

At Kansas City -4 Miami
Philip Rivers of
the Chargers should be giving
Dolphins losing tips. PICK: DOLPHINS

San Francisco -3.5 At Washington
The Redskins O Line
is as useless as both
houses of Congress. PICK: 49ers

At Dallas -11.5 Seattle
If they win this game
Seahawks dump macchiatos
on coach Pete Carroll. PICK: SEAHAWKS

At Oakland -8 Denver
New Tim Tebow meme
will involve sitting on the
bench looking forlorn. PICK: RAIDERS

At Tennessee -3 Cincinnati
Have you ever tried
Kentucky chili? It's so
good on spaghetti. PICK: BENGALS

At Arizona -3 St. Louis
This game's loser
should be sent to the flat, dark
Phantom Dimension. PICK: CARDINALS

At New England -8.5 NY Giants
Take away Welker
and Tom Brady cries and then
sleeps with his hot wife. PICK: GIANTS

Green Bay -5.5 At San Diego
Chargers' Coach Turner
would be a great manager
at any Arby's. PICK: PACKERS

At Pittsburgh -3 Baltimore
Steelers wait until
Flacco makes a mistake, then
everyone polkas. PICK: STEELERS

Monday, November 7

At Philadelphia -8 Chicago
Chicago has been
doing the Movember thing
since 1960. PICK: BEARS

Last week's Haiku Picks went 5-9. Season to date is 51-66-3. Time for rally underwear.

Jim Behrle tweets at @behrle for your possible amusement.

5 Comments / Post A Comment

elephony (#103,223)

Kentucky chili? You're writing about the Bengals and you call it KENTUCKY chili? Paul Brown is rolling in his grave!

elephony (#103,223)

@elephony I mean, he's been rolling since his son took the team over, but you, sir, sped him up!

freetzy (#7,018)

@elephony Cincinnati: Home of 21st Century America's Finest Race Riot.

Alex Howe@twitter (#17,808)

@freetzy The Bengals having a decent, even exciting season was thrilling enough. A comment thread on the Awl devoted to Cincy?? Practically Christmas morning!


zinger (#171,774)

Besides which, spaghetti does not belong in chili, despite what people in Cincinnati think. Lamb also is not eligible to be barbecue, despite Owensboro, Ky. Bee-yuck. Love the haikus, though, catch them every week.

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