Monday, November 21st, 2011

A Field Guide To Your Office Nemesis

Jon Methven is the author of This Is Your Captain Speaking, due out in 2012 by Simon & Schuster. He can be reached here, or follow him on Twitter @jonmethven.

17 Comments / Post A Comment

laurel (#4,035)

I got laid off two years ago and have been piecing together a work life, mostly working from home, ever since.

I haven't had a head cold in two years.

roboloki (#1,724)

so your cat is currently your nemesis?

laurel (#4,035)

Yup, and I am a member of the 7% who have slept with their nemesis.

roboloki (#1,724)

truly a win/win situation!

hman (#53)

Time for a new Awl Office Seating Chart, don't you think?

iantenna (#5,160)

i recently, two weeks ago to be exact, got my office nemesis fired. in this economy i don't know whether to be happy or feel like an asshole. also, what is the plural of nemesis, 'cause i've got a few more?

purefog (#999)

@iantenna That would be nemeses.

Trilby (#3,897)

I can't think of a single nemesis in the office I'm in now, but I had a few in past offices. One, who was on the other side of a cubicle wall from me, blew her nose inessantly and used to say "okey-dokes" on the phone ad nauseum. Anotehr cleared her throat many times an hour. For these crimes, I would have killed thses women if I was sure I would've gotten away with it.

Trilby (#3,897)

@Trilby I haz bad spelling! Srroy!

riggssm (#760)

I'm part of the .5%. And it's ***only*** .5%?!?

dntsqzthchrmn (#2,893)

Outwit Outplay Outlast

whizz_dumb (#10,650)

My nemesis always stops at the wrong cubicle and does a loop de loop on his way to bug me too!

koko (#11,361)

They obviously did not include my answers for the poll in the first graph. At my previous job, my favorite nemesis-related activity was identifying which Simpsons or Office character my nemesis most resembled and emailing my coworkers the resultant photoshop mashup. For example my previous boss was a creepy combination of Montgomery Burns and Michael Scott, and another co-worker was a disgusting combination of Creed Bratton and Barney Gumble.

dona4margo (#181,768)

It is the best time to make some plans for the future and it's time to be happy. I have read this post and if I could I wish to suggest you some interesting things or tips. Maybe you can write next articles referring to this article. I wish to read more things about it!

lucil7bary (#181,778)

I'm extremely impressed with your writing skills and also with the layout on your blog. Is this a paid theme or did you customize it yourself? Either way keep up the excellent quality writing, it is rare to see a nice blog like this one nowadays..

lovelettersinhell (#13,711)

I love the super complimentary random spam this post attracted!

From now on, I'm blaming nearly everything on "bullshit caveman hormones."

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