Some Revised Tourism Slogans
Acapulco: Not That Many Decapitations Per Capita
Touring The French Riviera? Well Heads Up Because For Some Reason The Casinos Make You Wear Shoes
Detroit — Don't Bother Locking Up When You’re Done
Berlin: Now With Flights To Barcelona!
Come To Sunny South Africa (Unless You Fear Black People, Of Course)
South Korea, Where That Quiet Weirdo From College Moved Shortly Before Never Being Heard From Again
Visit London, Where You're Just One More Drunk Ass
Bolivia: Betcha Can't Get Around The Protestors Blocking Our Only Major Highway!
The United States: You're Already Here, And If You're Not, Stay Out
What Happens In Morocco Doesn't Stay In Morocco, In Fact It Spirals Into An International Incident; You, However, In A Very Permanent Sense, Stay In Morocco
Actually, Do You Have To Be A Scientist To Go To Antarctica?
Amsterdam Cannot Be Held Liable If You Mistake Whispers At The Rijksmuseum For The Ghosts Of Rembrandt's Lowly Assistants
Canada, Due For Some Sort Of Natural Disaster It Would Seem
Appalachia: It's … Different
Prauge: Home Of The Vodka Tonic That You’ll Pay $28 For Because You Don’t Understand Exchange Rates
Yep, The Philippines, There's A Whole Bunch Of Them Apparently
Rio Is For Muggers
Only In New York Will Something Happen That Could've Happened Anywhere And Then People Say 'Only In In New York' About It
Miles Klee's Ivyland is forthcoming from OR Books.
Zuccotti Park: What Have YOU Done?
Oh wait.
That London slogan actually served me pretty well once.
Come to Texas, we're mostly nice.
Kanye's Zone: Don't Let Kanye In
Come to the Phillipines, our hard boiled eggs have chickens in them!
that last one really works, to me.
Brooklyn: Forget About It
@Dave Bry Sadly, it actually says that on the "You are leaving Brooklyn" sign before the Verazano Bridge.
@BadUncle Ha ha ha. Oh, I know. I was making a spelling-based joke gentrification. (The sign says, "Fuhgeddaboudit," I think, right?) But, clearly, it was not a very good joke.
@Dave Bry Oy. No, I'm just thick.
Georgia On Your Mind (But Hopefully Not Because Of That Whole Troy Davis Thing)
Georgia: The Chances Of Us Executing You Are Really Exceedingly Small
Very Funny
I would like to make out with you for that last line. Don't worry, I'm a good kisser.
Brooklyn. Only in New York.
Colorado. HAPE happens.
Actually saw this one on a bumper sticker this week: "Kansas City: More City, Less Kansas"
Liars.
in classic Kansas City fashion: not intended as compliment
"Prague"
ahem
West Michigan: Welcome!*
*welcome extends only to conservatives, Christians, Amway and people who think Erik Prince is super.
@hockeymom Grand Rapids: Reminding you that Gerald Ford was once president.
Visit Greece: The drinks are on Germany.
Virginia is for highway lovers! (Just don't go below Richmond.)
@Aatom
Richmond: Syracuse with magnolias.
Come to Los Angeles: where people bitch about hating their life here, but they never ever ever ever ever ever leave
Also applies to San Diego. I can't believe how many people live there that are from there. Actually, Seattle too.
You mention Appalachia and there's nothing about 'squealing like a pig'? Disappointing.
@Tulletilsynet Appalachia: once you've tried our popcorn squirrel you won't go back
@RonMwangaguhung
Eat More Possum
Love this!!!
The Ozarks – you'll stay up all night!
North Carolina – progressively backwards
Delaware – you'll love our toll booth
Alabama – southern fried xenophobia
Florida / Connecticut – the "are we there yet" state
Missouri – bicoastals love flying over us
Rhode Island – I think Yosemite is larger
Maryland – Come for the Crabs, leave with the Crabs
–
Leipzig – You'll really miss good mexican food after three weeks
Milan – please support our sweatshop sweaters
Nice – not as nice as Monaco
Genoa – you can't find us on a map
Kyoto – slow down, you're not in Tokyo anymore
Vienna – we don't have boats or canals
Glasgow – top gear
Ibiza – how many did you take ? how many do you usually take ?
Portland, OR: Brooklyn Copies Everything We Do. Seriously. No, Really, I'm Serious.
@Clarence Rosario I just spent the weekend in Portland and it was really fun. They really are serious. My sarcastic comments were received with confusion and/or pleasant surprise. Sarcasm is a novelty there. Another thing: way way way too many Cardinals fans at the bars being way way way too obnoxious. I pointed East and yelled "St. Louis is pretty far that way".
Oooooor, they were making fun of your sarcasm by pretending not to understand. The Pac NW holds passive aggression to a new standard.
Florida: You're Gonna Seem Pretty Great, By Comparison