Some Revised Tourism Slogans

Acapulco: Not That Many Decapitations Per Capita

Touring The French Riviera? Well Heads Up Because For Some Reason The Casinos Make You Wear Shoes

Detroit — Don’t Bother Locking Up When You’re Done

Berlin: Now With Flights To Barcelona!

Come To Sunny South Africa (Unless You Fear Black People, Of Course)

South Korea, Where That Quiet Weirdo From College Moved Shortly Before Never Being Heard From Again

Visit London, Where You’re Just One More Drunk Ass

Bolivia: Betcha Can’t Get Around The Protestors Blocking Our Only Major Highway!

The United States: You’re Already Here, And If You’re Not, Stay Out

What Happens In Morocco Doesn’t Stay In Morocco, In Fact It Spirals Into An International Incident; You, However, In A Very Permanent Sense, Stay In Morocco

Actually, Do You Have To Be A Scientist To Go To Antarctica?

Amsterdam Cannot Be Held Liable If You Mistake Whispers At The Rijksmuseum For The Ghosts Of Rembrandt’s Lowly Assistants

Canada, Due For Some Sort Of Natural Disaster It Would Seem

Appalachia: It’s … Different

Prauge: Home Of The Vodka Tonic That You’ll Pay $28 For Because You Don’t Understand Exchange Rates

Yep, The Philippines, There’s A Whole Bunch Of Them Apparently

Rio Is For Muggers

Only In New York Will Something Happen That Could’ve Happened Anywhere And Then People Say ‘Only In In New York’ About It



Miles Klee‘s Ivyland is forthcoming from OR Books.