Thursday, October 20th, 2011

Football Pick Haikus For Week 7

Sunday, October 23

Chicago -1 Tampa Bay (At London)
I'd rather see Man U
Take on the Chicago Bears
with a side of chips. PICK: BUCCANEERS

At Carolina -2.5 Washington
It's really time that
the Redskins changed their nickname.
The Washington Jazz. PICK: PANTHERS

San Diego -2 At NY Jets
Occupy Wall Street
should link arms and help the Jets
stop the running game. PICK: CHARGERS

At Cleveland -3 Seattle
If the Browns traded
Peyton Hillis they'd become
an orange puddle. PICK: SEAHAWKS

Tennessee -3 Houston
The Houston Oilers
were the only ones to make
powder blue look cool. PICK: TEXANS

At Miami -1.5 Denver
All Praise Tim Tebow!
He'll turn water into wine.
And Fish into turds. PICK: BRONCOS

At Detroit -3.5 Atlanta
Whatever you do,
don't shake the Lions coach's
hand too hard! Trust me! PICK: LIONS

At Oakland -4 Kansas City
Raiders could play ALF
at quarterback and beat the
Kansas City Chiefs. PICK: RAIDERS

Pittsburgh -3.5 At Arizona
The Cardinals need some
border fences to protect
both their home endzones. PICK: STEELERS

At Dallas -12.5 St. Louis
You know who's tougher
than the entire Rams team?
The staff at Ted Drewes. PICK: RANGERS, COWBOYS

Green Bay -9 At Minnesota
The Vikings' Only
Hope is the Metrodome Roof
Collapsing Again. PICK: PACKERS

At New Orleans -14 Indianapolis
Playing against the
Colts at this point should count as
an extra bye week. PICK: SAINTS

Monday, October 24

Baltimore -7.5 At Jacksonville
The new iPhone is
Only cool until the next
new iPhone is born. PICK: RAVENS

Last week's Haiku Picks went 4-11. Monkeys randomly choosing teams by tossing poo would do better. Season to date is 40-50-3.

Jim Behrle tweets at @behrle for your possible amusement.

5 Comments / Post A Comment

KenWheaton (#401)

As a life-long Saints fans, I can tell you that you should never pick the Saints when they're facing a winless team.

Dave Bry (#422)

The Washington "Wonks" ?

RK Fire (#10,307)

@Dave Bry: As a Washington fan, my husband would be incredibly happy if they just went with calling themselves "the Washington football team" and just cut things out entirely.

On the flipside, I'm trying to decide what a "wonk" mascot would look like. Your usual computer nerd look, but with a slightly better suit?

Bittersweet (#765)

@Dave Bry: My dad, ever the jokester, suggests keeping the name but changing the logo to a potato.

Smoking_Robot (#7,632)

I'm going to vegas and putting 1k on each of these. SHUT UP AND TAKE MY MONEY!!

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