36. Howard the Duck
35. Mallard Fillmore
34. The Aflac Duck
33. Mrs. Beakley
32. Webbigail Vanderquack
31. Quackula
30. Negaduck
29. Flintheart Glomgold
28. Wade the Duck
27. Kvack
26. Glittering Goldie
25. Daisy
24. Doofus Drake
23. Dewey
22. Louie
21. Huey
20. Herbert J. "Honker" Muddlefoot Jr.
19. Gosalyn Mallard (née Waddlemeyer)
18. Count Duckula
17. Deputy Duck
16. Drake Mallard aka Darkwing Duck
15. Bubba the Caveduck
14. Ferdinand the Duck
13. Emily Quackfaster aka Mrs. Featherby
12. Fenton Crackshell aka Gizmoduck
11. Gyro Gearloose
10. Donald
9. Ludwig Von Drake
8. Magica De Spell
7. Plucky
6. Baby "Down the Hooooole" Plucky
5. Launchpad McQuack
4. Daffy
3. Gooseberry Sprig
2. The Ugly Duckling
1. Scrooge McDuck
Richard Morgan has never understood why sitting ducks are deemed such easier targets than anything else that's just sitting around.
I have never been angrier about an Awl post.
@Dan Kois
You realize all comments on this post will be heard in a Donald Duck voice, right?
Sure, Mallard Fillmore is a right-wing mouthpiece, but he's still better than O-swan Moseley
something something goose-stepping
i can only assume that disco duck came in at number 37.
ANY DUCK OVER DAFFY DUCK ARE YOU FUCKING INSANE
DAFFY DUCK IS THE GREATEST DUCK EVER
HE IS ALSO BETTER THAN MOST HUMANS
I WILL BURN THIS MOTHERFUCKING BLOG TO THE GROUND
@jfruh
"He promised he'd get me out of this one, that mean old cartoonist, but just look what he's done to me now! I scarce dare approach me mug's attenuated reflection in yon hubcap ..."
@jfruh Seconded, DUCK DODGERS OF THE 24TH AND ONE HALF CENTURY PEOPLE!
Count Duckula didn't crack the top 10? It's like you've never even watched cartoons.
@boyofdestiny This man knows his cartoon ducks.
While Scrooge McDuck's awesomeness is indisputable…Howard the Duck worse than Mallard Fillmore? I think not.
WHERE IS BABY HUEY???
@Lockheed Ventura - And where is Ping? And the ducklings from, "Make Way for Ducklings"?
(And the gap between #34 and #35 is cavernous.)
My avatar is feeling VERY slighted. jfruh up there knows what I'm talking about (I'm going to be very embarrassed if I'm misremembering and you weren't the one who recognized it).
@major disaster Sabretooth duck REPRESENT!
No Baby Huey? Seriously?
36. Howard the Duck
And that's when I clicked "Close Tab".
@Clarence Rosario
No it wasn't.
@Tulletilsynet A Lea Thompson fetish makes up for a lot of sins.
@Clarence Rosario THAT MOVIE DOESN'T EXIST. The comic book Howard is the only one that matters and putting him dead last is a sure sign of deep mental and emotional derangement.
Remember that Mighty Ducks cartoon series where they were actual hockey playing superhero ducks? That's your #37 right there.
@keisertroll For the non-cartoon version, see my comment below.
@armagnacforbreakfast Tying that fat kid to the goalpost was fowl.
WHERE ARE THE MIGHTY DUCKS? HUMANS ARE DUCKS TOO.
@armagnacforbreakfast
Hedvig Ekdal died for your sins.
@armagnacforbreakfast EMILIO ESTEVEZ MUST BE ROLLING IN HIS GRAVE.
The Ugly Duckling is a swan. Why is a swan allowed on a list of ducks? Why is a swan listed at numero dos? Your outsourcing is killing Duckmerica!
@assembledwrong I know, right? Plus there's something terribly opportunistic about claiming the Ugly Duckling for the ducks now, when back when the ducks thought he was one of them, they beat him up and harassed him all the time. Oh, so now that he's a bad-ass swan, NOW you ducks suddenly want him on your team?
Darkwing's and Negaduck's low rankings on this list makes me want to put pineapple on a pizza and end it all.
You forgot Psyduck!
@Granger Danger the only tolerable pokemon character
DONALD IS NUMBER ONE FUCK YOU ALL
WAGHEGHEGHEGHE!
@Mr. B Disagree on ranking, but thumbs-upped for the excellent transcription of that noise Donald Duck makes
@jfruh That compliment (almost) makes this bullshit listicle worth the aggravation.
0. Duck Dodgers.
@deepomega in the 24 1/2 century?
a duck is a BIRD is a duck is a BIRD.
now pass the motherfucking L'Orange.
@Art Yucko Photoreply of mallards boning dot jpg
And they all want SunChips.
@Matt DUCKS EAT FREE AT SUBWAY
At that point in my life, the only thing more frightening than touching my own vagina was the possibility of being marked as a “late bloomer,” so I decided to take my lady parts out for a spin.
Is Peking Duck wrong?
DUCK DODGERS IN THE TWENTY-FOURTH AND A HALF CENTURY
This list doesn't have Mrs. Mallard on it, and therefore doesn't count (even if Magica De Spell does crack the top ten).
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Make_Way_for_Ducklings
I need to take a nap.
Gyro Gearloose is a duck?
@lakonislate MORE ATTENTION NEEDS TO BE PAID HERE. Gyro is clearly a sparrow or something, check the beak you hacks.
Slow news day?
It helps to say this with the Pringles duck mouth.
I'm sorry, where is Gladstone Gander? He wears spats! This list is just terribly insane.
FUCK YOUR FUCKING FACE
No mention of Lucky Ducks?
http://rikilindhome.com/scenes/13/sex-with-ducks-by-garfunkel-and-oates/
I can't evaluate your ranking of Donald's nephews until I know which color you think is which.
This is that goddamn nut list all over again...
There's something really sexy about Scrooge McDuck.
@Jared Scrooge McDuck gives Lloyd Blankfein an erection.
@Jared: Only if you're drinking Pernod and about to get herpes.
Howard has clearly been judged on a Lucas-produced movie from the 80s that never even happened. Rectify your error and repent your sins.
No love for Quaxelrod?
srsly this omission can not stand!!
Baby Huey
have u not seeen a Republican in the last 10 yrs? sheesh.
Darkwing should be ranked MUCH higher.
No mention of Duckman? Voiced by Jason Alexander, from the 1990s USA Network cartoon series? C'mon! 'What the hell are YOU staring at?'
Ranking Howard at the bottom shows a lack of knowledge about Howard.
Disco Duck not even an honorable mention?