Wednesday, September 14th, 2011

The 33 Best Books Remaining on the Last Day of the Borders in the Time Warner Center

33. “Full Frontal Nudity: The Making of An Accidental Actor” by Harry Hamlin

32. “Dirty Sexy Politics” by Meghan McCain

31. “My Fair Succubi” by Jill Myles

30. “Sams Teach Yourself Foursquare in 10 Minutes” by Tris Hussey

29. “American Individualism” by Margaret Hoover

28. “Callous Disregard” by Andrew J. Wakefield. Foreword by Jenny McCarthy.

27. “Citizen U.S.A.: A 50 State Road Trip“ by Alexandra Pelosi

26. “Burning Up: On Tour With the Jonas Brothers” by Kevin, Joe and Nick Jonas

25. “Barrons’s ASVAB: Armed Services Vocational Aptitude Battery”

24. “ASVAB: Power Practice”

23. “ASVAB for Dummies”

22. “ASVAB Core Review”

21. “Beirut, I Love You” by Zena el Khalil

20. “Familyhood” by Paul Reiser

19. “Roseannearchy” by Roseanne Barr

18. “Unshapely Things” by Mark del Franco

17. “Bog Men: A Murder Mystery” by Joyce Keller Walsh

16. “Al Borde Del Apocalipsis” por Tim LaHaye y Craig Parshall

15. “El Pasaje” por Justin Cronin

14. “Christmas at Candlebark Farm” by Michelle Douglas

13. “The Falcon Prince” by Karen Kelley

12. “Society’s Most Disreputable Gentleman: The Man Who Ruins Reputations” by Julia Justiss

11. “Coming Back Stronger” by Drew Brees

10. “Play Baseball the Ripken Way” by Cal Ripken Jr., Bill Ripken and Larry Burke

9. “In the Time of Bobby Cox” by Lang Whitaker

8. “Do the Right Thing” by Mike Huckabee (audio)

7. “Real Wifey on the Grind” by Meesha Mink (audio)

6. “The Curse: Cubs Win! Cubs Win!… Or Do They?” by Andy Van Slyke

5. “Managing Death” by Trent Jamieson

4. “Deadline!: The Book” by Paula Tutman

3. “Suck on this Year” by Denis Leary

2. “Gone” by Lisa McCann

1. “The Brave” by Nicholas Evans

Matthew Creamer has lost to IBM's Watson, survived a chemical weapons incinerator, gotten to the bottom of an urban legend in Alabama, and made it in and out of both Cuba and NYU legally. He is an editor at large at Ad Age and can be found on Twitter.

16 Comments / Post A Comment

keisertroll (#1,117)

There were only 33 books at that Borders, weren't there?

oxla (#12,069)

Inb4 OMG “Barrons’s ASVAB: Armed Services Vocational Aptitude Battery” ranks waaay higher than "Managing Death" WTF

NFK (#8,747)

@oxla Hey, you'll want a decent score on the ASVAB if you don't want to end up as a ninety-two-golf. Priorities, yo.

C_Webb (#855)

Does the Hamlin book have awesome 80s Burt Reynoldsish Cosmo-style nudie pics? If so, could someone pick it up for my friend … um … Agnes?

keisertroll (#1,117)

@C_Webb From what my 12th grade history teacher told me, Jeff Fahey has the more interesting life story.

jfruh (#713)

I am now visualizing Mike Huckabee's one-man Broadway adaptation of Spike Lee's Do The Right Thing, and will spend the rest of the day doing this.

Mr. B (#10,093)

@jfruh: "As the most interesting man in the world, I don't often drink beer. But when I do, that beer is Miller High Life."

dntsqzthchrmn (#2,893)

I was in a Borders over the weekend and there were as many people as books. And there were enough copies of what appeared to be a Spanish-language holiday opera special DVD for every commenter on The Awl to have a novelty coaster for $0.99…

oudemia (#177)

I actually get annoyed just reading that fucker Wakefield's name.

HiredGoons (#603)

@oudemia: if I ever have a daughter (which I won't) I'm naming her Julia Justiss and getting her some top-shelf bling.

Julius Firefly (#13,153)

My Andy Van Slyke rookie cards just went up $0.01 in value, so I thank you for that.

It takes 10 minutes to learn Foursquare?

On the last day (Saturday) at one of the Borders in Indianapolis, there were dozens and dozens of copies of Scott Brown's memoir, just lying everywhere.

WaityKatie (#79,377)

At the Penn Station Borders, there was a HUGE display of Sarah Palin's book, along with some bio of Palin (at least 20-25 books in total), surrounded by emptiness.

tomme (#4,473)

@WaityKatie I saw similar scenes in my liberal New England enclave Borders, as well as lots of Jerome Corsi, Glen Beck and Arnold bios. Someone should have done a photo essay of the piles of overstocked right-wing diatribes rotting away in closing Borders.

pearl (#8,156)

I went to a Borders today (3 days before closing) and surprisingly found 2 great things: Dandy in the Underworld for $1.50 and Gunter Grass's The Tin Drum for $1. I was satisfied with my pickins

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