Thursday, September 29th, 2011

Football Pick Haikus For Week 4

Sunday, October 2

At Dallas -1 Detroit
Everyone loves Detroit!
Are Lions Super Bowl-Bound?
Eminem Halftime! PICK: LIONS

New Orleans -7 At Jacksonville
Jaguars D not bad.
But Saints no doubt have a
Jones-Drew voodoo doll. PICK: SAINTS

At Philadelphia -8.5 San Francisco
Vick sick of hits.
Dream Team is a Scream Machine.
Philly Not Sunny. PICK: 49ERS

Washington -1.5 At St. Louis
Rams are awful.
But Redskins are still racist.
Change the team name, please. PICK: RAMS

At Cleveland -1 Tennessee
What's worse? Cleveland's D
Or Titans' Britt-less offense?
Or Jim's Crappy Picks? PICK: BROWNS

Buffalo -3 At Cincinnati
Bills at 3 and O
Cooler than Niagara Falls.
Totally Bill-lieve. PICK: BILLS

Minnesota -1.5 At Kansas City
Chiefs might play better
If you fire their whole team
And give their fans pads. PICK: VIKINGS

At Chicago -6.5 Carolina
Cam Newton versus
the legendary Bears D.
I will take the points. PICK: PANTHERS

At Houston -4 Pittsburgh
Texans suffer loss.
But Steelers look like they hate
running after yins. PICK: TEXANS

Atlanta -4.5 At Seattle
Crazy Seahawk Fans
Will make lots of Noise while Coach
Pete types Resume. PICK: FALCONS

NY Giants -1 At Arizona
The Giants winning!
The Cardinals defense is bad!
Lick some Oreos! PICK: GIANTS

At San Diego -7 Miami
Chargers turn it on
In October but I like
Dolphins' uniforms PICK: DOLPHINS

At Green Bay -12.5 Denver
After spending time
on the cross, Tebow rises
to help beat the spread. PICK: BRONCOS

New England -4 At Oakland
Tom Brady played Ugh.
Hasn't won a Super Bowl
Since Gisele showed up. PICK: RAIDERS

At Baltimore -3.5 NY Jets
Ravens will win it
But only by a field goal.
Gang Green has gangrene. PICK: JETS

Monday, October 3

At Tampa Bay -10 Indianapolis
Peytonless Colts
Brutal ratings kryptonite.
Let's watch "2 Broke Girls." PICK: COLTS

Last week's Football Haiku Picks went 5-11. Season to date is 18-28-2. Which is not so good. Yet.

Jim Behrle tweets at @behrle for your possible amusement.

8 Comments / Post A Comment

sharilyn (#4,599)

Jim Behrle, you're smart
and funny but you sure do
suck at picking teams.

sharilyn (#4,599)

Please note I assumed that your surname requires two syllables.

Sunny Schomaker (#4,021)

The sociolinguist in me loves the Pittsburgh haiku. (As a Wisconsinite, however, I am baffled by your anti-Green Bay bias.)

jc_venice@twitter (#120,575)

@Sunny Schomaker Agreed. but any proper burgher will tell you it's "yinz." Like zubaz.

@Sunny Schomaker I know! To reject Green Bay is one problem, to like Denver is another entirely.

These still don't rhyme.

scroll_lock (#4,122)

It ain't a haiku until someone's branded a fatass.

Bittersweet (#765)

Glad to know it's not just the entire female population of New England who hates Gisele.

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