Wednesday, September 7th, 2011

Football Pick Haikus

Thursday, September 8

At Green Bay -4 New Orleans
Last two Champions
On not-yet-frozen tundra.
Pack still hung over. PICK: SAINTS

Sunday, September 11

At Baltimore -2.5 Pittsburgh
Were it possible
The final score might be in
Negative numbers. PICK: RAVENS

At Tampa Bay -1.5 Detroit
Lions are sleepers.
As may be many viewers
Who watch this game. PICK: LIONS

Atlanta -3 At Chicago
Q.B. Matty Ice
has a truly great nickname.
He will go down smooth. PICK: BEARS

At Kansas City -5.5 Buffalo
Chiefs made the playoffs
last year, but this postseason
They'll eat BBQ. PICK: BILLS

At Houston -8.5 Indianapolis
Peyton Manning's neck
A huge pain for Colts' fans.
Is this Houston's year? PICK: TEXANS

Philadelphia -5 At St. Louis
Eagles have Dream Team.
But you shouldn't eat cheesesteaks
Right before bedtime. PICK: RAMS

At Cleveland -6.5 Cincinnati
Cherry blossoms fall
On LeBron jersey ashes.
Plus the Bengals stink. PICK: BROWNS

At Jacksonville -3 Tennessee
Will these teams compete
for the AFC South crown?
No way, neither will. PICK: TITANS

NY Giants -3 At Washington
NFC East beasts
These are not, they're more like

At Arizona -7 Carolina
New Card Q.B. Kolb
Will get a chance to shine and
Get sacked a whole lot. PICK: PANTHERS

San Francisco -5 Seattle
The new coach of the
49ers is named Jim.
Not Gandalf the Great. PICK: SEAHAWKS

At San Diego -8.5 Minnesota
Chargers always start
Seasons slow for some reason.
Packing for LA? PICK: CHARGERS

At NY Jets -4.5 Dallas
Both teams have big hype
But only Gang Green has the
Cornerback Revis PICK: JETS

Monday, September 12

New England -7 At Miami
If Pat Wes Welker
is fit, Patriots will win.
But, hey, take the points. PICK: DOLPHINS

At Denver -3 Oakland
Denver plays mile high.
Raiders might win if this game
Was played on Venus. PICK: BRONCOS

Jim Behrle tweets at @behrle for your possible amusement.

9 Comments / Post A Comment

Bittersweet (#765)

This is less verbose
Than Yakkin' About Football
But I might like it

areaderwrites (#592)

The Awl should run a contest (any contest) and the prize should be that Behrle comes to your home and writes captions on any stickers you have.

Jasons_Johnson (#3,341)

@areaderwrites I'd game that contest faster than Bush II at a Diebold factory

obsolete (#3,717)


pizzzz (#15,273)

@obsolete TMQ.

giantspider (#13,908)

@pizzzz @obsolete I'm glad I'm not the only TMQ/Awl overlap.

Help Desk (#8,472)

Gandalf the who?

melvilbis (#63,538)


Ripoff. These don't even rhyme.

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