Wednesday, August 10th, 2011

'Pet Sematary': A Reminder That Zombie Cats Make Terrible Pets

You're mad at me. I can tell. But hear me out. Remember how we were going to talk about the original, hairy, musky Joy of Sex? And it was going to be ACE? Well, apparently, when you're in Canada and you attempt to get a used copy of said august tome sent to you, it doesn't really work. People keep sending you the new version, EVEN CLAIMING IT TO BE THE 1972 CLASSIC, which, whatever, I know how to have sex, right? It's pretty endemic in the culture at this point. I want to see sort of unattractive people bringing their 1970s A-game to the table. That's what I want. And that's what YOU want, and you're the most important people in the world.

So finally, I said, screw this, and I decided to talk about Pet Sematary while we wait. Which I love, obvi.

Important Disclaimer: Stephen King is not trashy. Stephen King is kind of great, and I have a useless thesis on the intersection of medieval and Renaissance English drama, which suggests that for at least four months several years ago I was mildly qualified to make value judgments. Except Marjorie Garber hated it. Whatever. I've moved on, obviously. I never dwell on it. I don't even know why I brought it up!

Read On Writing or something. He's awesome. I don't even know why I'm trying to talk him up, like he needs the help. Stephen King is doing just fine, thanks for asking. You want to read The Man Without Qualities instead, mazel tov.

But Pet Sematary is totally bordering on trashy, we can all admit that, and it's so scary. Really, really scary. I don't even want to talk about freaking Zelda in the book OR the film adaptation, because AHHHHH, right? (They're doing a remake. Just an FYI.) King apparently tried to keep this book in the can, probably because it's trashy, but his publishers made him fork it over, because his brain is basically a machine that mints money for a dying industry. Even that really horrible one he wrote after getting hit by the minivan, with the shit-weasels (Dreamcatcher). Not Duma Key, which is sort of about being hit by the minivan and actually good.

Pet Sematary. Mistakes are made, guys. Mistakes are made. Louis Creed, our hero, has shit-for-brains. It's not that he tried to bring his kid back from the dead. We all get that. I mean, to be fair, we have several thousand years of don't bring your kid back from the dead, it's not worth it, in both the written and oral traditions of all known cultures, but Pet Sematary is responsible for at least 30% of that, and The Deathly Hallows for another 10%, and Stephen King's own short stories for 10%, and Louis Creed was not able to benefit from any of those cautionary tales. Or from Dawn Summers trying to bring back Joyce. It was the '80s—maybe Louis was sincerely innocent of Zombie Law.

But the cat. He brings back the cat. Had he ever met a cat? I have a cat, and I love her, but any idiot could tell you that the battle between good and evil rages between her ears every single day, and one would have to assume that exposure, however slight, to the forces of death, would tip the balance fairly decidedly towards Evil. Of course Church is coming back wrong. Just get a kitten.

It's not Louis I blame, though. It's Jud. The folksy neighbor? The one who knows about the burial ground? The one who tells him about the burial ground as a favor? Thanks, buddy! Sure glad we didn't wind up with a boring story about how Louis' daughter cried for a few days and then got used to her new, non-zombie kitten.

Considering this particular book is reportedly a little on the autobiographical side (the Kings moved near a busy road, their daughter's cat got hit by a car, their toddler son had a close run-in, local pet cemetery, etc.), I would love to have been a fly on the wall at Stephen King's next Thanksgiving with his wife's family. "Hi guys, what's for supper! I loathe you all." Tell me there's not some serious subtext there.

Well, now, let's toss this mother open. You should feel free to discuss the gushy merits of Stephen King's oeuvre as a whole, and not strictly confine yourself to the trashy delights of Pet Sematary. This is a safe space. We'll be back with the original Joy of Sex sometime before the heat death of the universe. Or not! Prove me wrong with better conduct, used book purveyors.

Some questions to get us started:

• Do you remember how, in It, the children all have sex with Beverly, and that actually happens?
• If you brought your cat back from the dead, how would he or she try to destroy you? Be specific.
• Does the Indian-Burial-Ground conceit just annoy the holy shit out of actual Native Americans, or what?
• No, seriously, what the hell kind of parents leave their little daughter with her messed-up dying sister? That's cold.
• Do you have kids? Would you take them to the Micmac burial ground and hope for the best? Be honest. Not that anything bad will happen to your kids. Ever.
• Who's more obsessed with dead kids: John Irving or Stephen King?

Nicole Cliffe is the proprietress of Lazy Self-Indulgent Book Reviews. She is also summering over at The Hairpin through August.

92 Comments / Post A Comment

lk@twitter (#22,648)

dude, do you want my copy? Legit '70s style. No grossness, I swear.

@lk@twitter Aww, love you. Will message if latest attempt fails.

zidaane (#373)

@lk@twitter Does it come with extra pubes? Like you open it up and hair falls out of it.

alfred4joy (#23,518)

@lk@twitter Yes, I want

KenWheaton (#401)

Oh, I remember this one. And I remember talking my step-dad into taking me to see the movie adaptation. My younger brother–his only child–was about Gage's age and boy was he pissed at me for putting that particular visual image of a semi running down the child in his head.

And yes to King's "On Writing." It basically boils down to "Shut the fuck up, sit down and start writing. Then throw half that shit out and write it again. Quit yer bitchin'. And watch out for vans." Love it.

riggssm (#760)

@KenWheaton Aside from the charm of his childhood stories (Euhla Beuhla, her farts, and the egg incident!), King introduced me to the "final = draft – 10%" rule. I'd somehow never heard that before. It works!

And while we are on the subject, can we talk about the supercreepy clown in the sewer that tore of the kid's arm? *shudders*

Ham Snadwich (#11,842)

@RonMwangaguhunga And is there a better person to play a supercreepy clown than Tim Curry? I submit that there is not.

whizz_dumb (#10,650)

I wasn't good at paying attention to books my eyes were reading until I read Firestarter. That was last year. JOKES I was 12 or some shit. Thanks Stephen!

mrschem (#1,757)

@whizzard King is and always will be, the King.

DMcK (#5,027)


laurel (#4,035)

Actually, I think Joseph Heller is the most obsessed with dead kids.

Although, that chapter ending of Pet Sematary that goes something like, "And Gabe, who had two months to live…" legitimately made my 12-year-old stomach fall down around my knees.

Groovymarlin (#3,329)

@spiralbetty Oh yeah, King is the best with those throwaway, doom-forecasting lines. It's such a cliche at this point but I still love that stuff.

mrschem (#1,757)

@spiralbetty and that line plus all the rest kept my ten year-old ass awake for weeks! He is also the master of comic relief. Remember the song he's singing to himself while performing his ghoul-ly duties?

laurel (#4,035)

@mrschem: No, what was it?!

I just read on Wikipedia that the Ramones wrote a song for the movie and "Sheena is a Punk Rocker" plays during the scene when Gage is killed. What?

mrschem (#1,757)

@spiralbetty He is singing 'Blitzkrieg Bop.' Hey ho, lets go! while digging up Gage. Doozy.

laurel (#4,035)

@mrschem: Couldn't they have worked "Beat on the Brat" in there somewhere? "I Wanna be Sedated" would have fit nicely for the cat and Gage's finales.

mrschem (#1,757)

@spiralbetty would've been purrrrfect! This book taught me the phrase 'stoned to the eyeballs' in the fourth grade. I have used it ever since. Also, "Paxcow."

pemulis (#903)

Oh, man, It, where they all have sex? Because it'll help them get out of the sewer or something? I remember reading in 6th grade and showing up for school the next day, unable to make eye contact with anybody. I think the only Stephen King thing that fucked with me more was his short story The Mist.

@pemulis I thought it protected them from the deadlights? Why do I know this.

@pemulis "The Mist" is the best.

Phil Koesterer (#2,708)

@Nicole Cliffe@facebook It really is.

nozer (#23,427)

@pemulis If I can recall correctly, it just brought them together. There were no special powers or anything, they just thought it would bring them all together forever. It was fucked up reading it as a young'un.

ample pie (#16,622)

Jodi Picoult is most obsessed with dead kids, but I'm ashamed of knowing that.

Also, for a lot of the really confusing parts of King's oeuvre (yes, I mean That Scene in It), it helps to remember the part of On Writing where he talks about all the drugs he was doing around the same time that some of this stuff was written. Then it doesn't seem quite so out of left field.

In other King commentary, The Stand! That's all. Robert McCammon's Swan Song, while decent, does not compare, and don't believe anyone who tells you it does.

Also (also! I am on a run here with King, fan that I am), who is inordinately excited for his new book in November?

@ample pie : So, as someone who hasn't read anything Stephen King's written after, uh, The Dark Half (OK, our high school did not get a lot of new books) : what should I read that he's written since? NB: I hated, hated, hated the Gunslinger series, but I went back recently and reread (and enjoyed!) The Shining, and The Tommyknockers is some of the best stuff that's ever been written by someone high as a kite on cocaine and cough syrup.

cschack (#1,401)

@Gef the Talking Mongoose I enjoyed "Under the Dome" and "Bag of bones" (though that one seems to be a love-hate proposition), as well as "From a Buick 8". "Insomnia" was also good when I was 16, but I suspect it may not hold up today; it was the first time he introduced the Gunslinger crossover stuff (just a sentence or two, though). A lot of people seem to like "The Girl Who Loved Tom Gordon" too, but not being American, and thus generally ignorant about baseball (and, strangely, apple pies), I had a hard time with it, though I did manage to get through it because I was on an Atlantic flight. I read"Dreamcatcher" on a flight too, and it was ok on the plane and in the transit hall, but once I got home, I never opened it again. (If there were a MST3K thing for books, however, I might've. Alas.)

Lastly, Joe Hill's prose style isn't a mile away from his father's, and I thoroughly enjoyed "Horns", so I imagine New England will remain in the horror lover's heart for some time yet.

@cschack : I thought "Horns" was pretty fun! "Heart-Shaped Box" a bit less so. Anyway, I'll poke around the used-book bin for King's later stuff, thanks.

Neopythia (#353)

@Gef the Talking Mongoose I'm reading Under the Dome now. I'd recommend it. It feels like King returning to his roots of Maine and a town bordering Castle Rock. I loved the Dark Tower series, but this feels totally different; definitely more old school than new.

Ham Snadwich (#11,842)

@cschack Heart Shaped Box was crazy creepy until they actually started to hunt down the bad guys. Then it started to suck. Also, Rob Zombie should probably get some royalties off the main character.

@Gef the Talking Mongoose I'm crazy about "The Tommyknockers."

mrschem (#1,757)

@ample pie 'Grey Matter', from Night Shift.

ample pie (#16,622)

@Gef the Talking Mongoose: Okay, where to begin? Like someone downthread said, "Full Dark, No Stars," which is four novellas, is excellent (as is "Different Seasons," if you haven't read it). His recent short stories have also been good, and "Under the Dome" was a bit of a throwback to "The Stand" for me (I am an aficionado of the epic novel).

@ample pie , Neopythia : OK, "Under the Dome" it is. The conceit sounds good, and thanks to Scott Smith's "The Ruins," I'm back reading horror novels again.

(obligatory: Holy crap, "The Ruins" is some unforgiving stuff. I recommend it completely.)

HiredGoons (#603)

@Gef the Talking Mongoose: Stephen King's cocaine use and the quality of his writing are correlated.

petejayhawk (#1,249)

The original 70s-tastic Joy of Sex, as stolen from my parents' bedroom bookshelf as a young child when they were away, taught me WAY more about sex than any 10-year-old should know. (Also, Xaviera's Supersex and More Joy of Sex. Looking back…that's kind of gross, what with the parents having it on the shelf and all. But educational!)

Annie K. (#3,563)

@petejayhawk Your story is the exact premise of a funny novel by Meg Wolitzer, called The Position. I think I remember it doesn't end well.

claudettecolbert (#12,065)

@petejayhawk I learned a lot about sex and the body from a copy of Our Bodies, Ourselves left in the guest room where I was staying during a vacation at my relatives' house. I was about 12, and yes, it was the original '70s version.

@Annie K. "The Position" is even worse, because their parents WROTE the book. Love.

Mr. B (#10,093)

Here's a topic: Sure King himself isn't trashy, but how come so many movie/TV adaptations of his stuff are? And not even fun trash … just, bad. I'm thinking of stuff like Thinner, but especially those terrible TV miniseries of It, The Stand, and especially The Shining. And then in the '80s someone in Hollywood thought it would be a good idea to let King actually direct a movie, and what we got was … Maximum Overdrive. I mean, wow.

Best King movie adaptation? A lot of people would say Stand By Me or Kubrick's version of The Shining, but I'm kinda partial toward The Dead Zone, because it's Christopher Walken playing a nice guy just trying to deal with his shit, instead of nice people trying to deal with Christopher Walken.

And just think: If that IRL toddler had actually been hit by that truck, he wouldn't have grown up to be Joe Hill and we wouldn't have Heart-Shaped Box, etc.

@Mr. B I think the really interesting thing is to think about how King (and many diehard King fans) fucking HATE the movie The Shining because it took so many liberties with the source material. And then the miniseries proved Stanley Kubrick abso-fucking-lutely right. You know what is not scary on television? Giant topiary animals.

Mr. B (#10,093)

@antarcticastartshere: Ugh, that topiary. And in the opening scene when that guy from Wings jokingly asks the guy showing him around the hotel if there are any ghosts, and the guy gets all shifty-eyed and after a long pause says " … No ghosts."

@Mr. B

Undeniably Good Stephen King Movies:
- The Shining
- Misery
- Stand By Me
- The Shawshank Redemption
- Carrie
- The Green Mile
- The Dead Zone

Semi-Good Stephen King Movies
- Apt Pupil
- Storm of the Century
- Christine
- Hearts in Atlantis
- Dolores Claiborne
- The Running Man

That's a solid list. There have been a lot of bad ones of course, but he's written SO MUCH that that's only to be expected. Considering that most people consider The Shining, Misery, Shawshank and Stand by Me to be classics, the guy's doing okay.

KRYS~!@twitter (#23,859)

@Mr. B Secret Window is successful as an onscreen thriller, too, as I recall.

Gene (#1,580)

It's The Man without Qualities, not A Man Without Qualities.

@Gene I have been reading too much Stephen King. Thank you, fixing!

Oh goddddd not Zelda. Just the other day, in fact, I decided to look up good ol' Zelda on the youtube to see if she is in fact as horrifying and nightmare inducing as she was when I was 10. YES SHE IS. TOTALLY FUCKING TERRIFYING. And now that I am an adult I get to feel guilty about being fucking terrified of someone with a horrible degenerative disease that is beyond their control.

Groovymarlin (#3,329)

@antarcticastartshere And she was played by a guy! Apparently they couldn't find a woman emaciated-looking enough. Scariest thing in the whole movie, even more than kid-under-bed-with-scalpel.

unionjackflash (#8,506)

'Salem's Lot, people. 'Salem's Lot.

mrschem (#1,757)

@unionjackflash oh jesus! how could I forget? it still stands up. this is the exception to the tv rule!

jerseyoutwest (#8,631)

My parents had a video production business, next to a pet cemetery, and we didn't have the right amount of names for the amount of pictures that needed to go into the reel. I promise you: some bearded dude was labeled "Mohammad Schnauzer." It was 2 AM, in 1995, and the video was due the next day, and I promise you I am telling you the truth.

laurel (#4,035)

@jerseyoutwest: Did he have really epic eyebrows?

cschack (#1,401)

This reminds me of where I don't want to be buried.

whoneedslight (#758)

Pet Sematary was certainly not the best Stephen King, but it was definitely one of the scariest. When I finished it, I had to sleep with the lights on. Movie, eh, not so much. Except for Zelda, of course.

SuperMargie (#1,263)

@whoneedslight Och, ZELDA!. I use the term Zelda for any random person on the street that looks like they might just pop up and freak me the hell out at any second. "Let's cross the street, there is a Zelda at the bus stop". I also cannot pass by a crow without commenting on the Walking Dude, but that is another story.

@SuperMargie That is my new Favourite Thing.

Decca (#22,846)


Also my new Favourite Thing! I'm going to use it myself.

Groovymarlin (#3,329)

1. Sex with the chick in It, yes. Odd how they left THAT out of the movie version, huh? I actually have It on my Kindle wishlist to re-read at some point.
2. If I brought my cat back from the dead, she's probably try to destroy me the same way she did in life: by waking me up at all hours with her drama.
3. I do wonder how Native Americans feel about the "Indian Burial Ground" trope. Any Native Americans wanna speak up on that ish?
4. It's been a long time since I read Pet Sematary, but as I recall, Rachel's parents are some rich, stuck-up assholes who don't approve of her marriage (to a DOCTOR, people!). So it's not surprising they'd leave her alone with her extremely sick and creepy sister. They're assholes, after all.
5. I can't entertain thoughts of what I'd do vis-a-vis my kid and the Micmac burial ground. Don't ask me to.
6. Clearly, Stephen King is obsessed with dead kids. He not only kills kids in almost every book, he does it gleefully. It's his shtick now.

fb100000368252132 (#22,844)

@Groovymarlin My one Native American friend likes to rant about it in the same way that he rants about the Kevin Costner-ization of his ancestors, like he should be all serious spiritual respectful native man all the time when in fact he's just a person who doesn't speak for an entire culture.

Actually, I'm gonna ask him and get back to you.

ellbeejay (#13,699)

"Had he ever met a cat? I have a cat, and I love her, but any idiot could tell you that the battle between good and evil rages between her ears every single day, and one would have to assume that exposure, however slight, to the forces of death, would tip the balance fairly decidedly towards Evil."

Truer words were never spoken.

Also, though, JOHN IRVING is, I think, much more obsessed. But I haven't read any King in a longish time. I'll have to reread this.

But more importantly, Nicole Cliffe, I want to read your thesis. Maybe *especially* because Marjorie Garber hated it?

Decca (#22,846)


I agree with your last point. Marjorie Garber is the Patti LuPone of academia.

Nabonwe (#12,500)

@ellbeejay I am fascinated by this assertion, but I know nothing about Patti LuPone. (I don't know THAT much about Marjorie Garber, but enough to probably enjoy a good burn). What does this meeeeaaan?

Decca (#22,846)


Oh, they just sort of have a facial similarity, no? Plus, I suppose, both are very talented, no-nonsense Boss Ladies who are so monolithic in their respective fields that they can kinda get away with diva-ish behahaviour and bizarr-o career choices (that book on dogs that Garber wrote? Patti LuPone appearing on Glee?).

Megano! (#16,245)

I only like the Gunslinger books, and then when I heard he put himself in them, I was like "oh hell no, that is something you save for the internet and don't charge people for."
In short, I don't really like Stephen King.
But I would have to say that Anne Rice is at least equally obsessed with dead children, for the obvious reason. Also incest, for reasons I am not too clear about.

theharpoon (#10,705)

@Megan Patterson@facebook I don't like Stephen King either, and I wish someone else had written The Stand.

George K.@twitter (#22,833)

i don't have kids but i had a mother who died when i was 13 and i read this book when i was 14. sometimes it is hard to deal with death and i think this book captured it in a certain way that hit a nerve for a lot of people. it talked about things and dreams which i guess you can't tell anyone. so yes, i would have?

becky@twitter (#14,213)

i remember having nightmares from the movie when the kid says, "i wanna play with youuuuuu, mommy." ::shudder::

Nabonwe (#12,500)

@becky@twitter I have a very vivid memory of being around four years old, and my Mom was reading Pet Sematary, and the scary face of the cat on the cover gave me a SCREAMING nightmare. I couldn't sleep for days. Of course my parents stayed up with me. Eight years later, when I was eleven, I picked up my mom's copy of Pet Sematary and read it, and once again, I had a SCREAMING nightmare that woke the whole damn house. My parents were distinctly less sympathetic the second time around.

Flaneur (#998)

Loved "Pet Sematary" in high school–it was indeed stay-up-till-the-wee-hours compelling and leave-the-lights-on terrifying. Agreed that "Under the Dome" is well worthwhile. Not especially scary, but a great Maine character study. I also recommend his recent short-story collection "Full Dark, No Stars," which I've just been rereading the last few days. "Fair Extension" is just a mean little trifle, but the longer three stories are brilliant in their own ways, especially "1922."

King's work does suffer a lot in translation to the screen. I've always enjoyed Kubrick's "Shining" despite the liberties (it probably helped that I saw the movie first), but I thought "It" just didn't work at all. The constraints of broadcast television were a big problem, but I think it's just impossible to make a Pennywise you can see as bone-deep horrifying as the one from your mind. Even when it's Tim Curry.

Back on "Sematary," one little thing I recall is that he phrased it "the Micmac burying ground," rather than "burial." Had just a touch more menace that way, I think.

riggssm (#760)

@Flaneur I agree about adapting his work to the screen. Writing directly for screen (Storm of the Century) constrained him in a way that made the mini-series very watchable … despite the tired premise. Colm Feore was very good casting as the Devil/Linoge.

Flaneur (#998)

@riggssm Yes, good to be reminded of that. I quite enjoyed "Storm," and Colm Feore is always made of awesome.

A reply above notes movies like "The Shawshank Redemption" and "Stand by Me" as strong King adaptations, which of course they are. I think the problem is more with adapting his horror. The effect of his horror books depends so much on the accumulation of language and detail, and even typographical fillips like those brief italic grafs meant to represent fleeting, horrible thoughts.

fb100000368252132 (#22,844)

I remember reading a rash of Stephen King books at about 11, 12 years old… and this was around the time that Needful Things came out. Did anyone else read that? Or remember it? I remember weird little parts of that, like the two women who have fantasies about getting boned by decaying Elvis.

And I remember Tommyknockers making me feel absolutely sick. The dog? Who ends up in the laboratory at the end? Oh my god.

fb100000368252132 (#22,844)

@fb100000368252132 well this is just the best user name ever.

@fb100000368252132 I remember that book was really smutty. Like, it made me uncomfortable, and I had already read "The Clan of the Cave Bear" books when I was 11…

fb100000368252132 (#22,844)

@Elizabeth Rose Kites@facebook Ha! Okay, when I was 11 Clan of the Cave Bear was my favorite book. I guess I was into smut at a young age.

barnhouse (#1,326)

This was SO good. Thank you.

I read The Shining on the train when I was a young'un living in London and would invariably come to, palely shuddering, three or four stops after I was supposed to get off the train.

btw David Foster Wallace was a big fan and taught King in some of his classes. He pointed out the truest thing, viz., nobody has ever known better than King how to render a child in fiction, how a child thinks and feels and reacts. So true don't you think?

fb16829123 (#22,855)

TRUE STORY: I was at a lake house deep in the woods in Virginia. I sat out on the porch one night reading this book by myself, using only the light of a single lightbulb that was being swarmed with disgustingly huge bugs. I was at the part where the cat comes back to life for the first time and all of a sudden I hear "meeeerowww." I was convinced my brain was just messing with me and so I kept reading. "Meeeerowwww." Again. I put a finger in the pages and looked around. To my horror, there was a mangy-looking cat to the right of me, head cocked to one side, and COVERED IN BLOOD. I screamed.

Turns out the kitty had just given birth and that's why she was all bloody–we found the kittens in the woods. 0.0

laurel (#4,035)

@fb16829123: I was at a farmhouse in rural Oregon. I was six? My older sister had just finished telling me the plot of The Exorcist when something started bumping and thudding in the attic over our heads, just like in the beginning of the movie. We sat frozen, listening, for what seemed like hours until our brother came in. We made him go first, then followed him up the pull-down stairs. I was certain we'd find Linda Blair and her pea-soup grin up there. Instead, we found kittens running and playing across the beams.

brad (#1,678)

@fb16829123 – TRUE STORY- i was about 12 and reading salem's lot. turned out light tried to sleep. well, said light was right above my head, bare bulb shining directly down on my face. so, i freak out a little and turn light on, looking right into the bulb as it fires up. then i look out into the dark hallway. of course, i see the afterimage of the bulb. but that's not what i thought it was. i thought it was a giant glowing eyeball. so i screamed. my mom ran into my room looking a little irritated. that is until i said 'there is a giant glowing eyeball chasing me'. she let me sleep in her bed.

stuff_is_things (#6,108)

Actually, CAN you do The Man Without Qualities? I never finished it, but then again neither did the author…

stuff_is_things (#6,108)

@Jon Custer (I hope this comment didn't make me seem boastful or anything. I mean, my Master's degree isn't even IN literature, I just had a lot of free time for reading in the Peace Corps since my host family didn't own a TV.)

lovelettersinhell (#13,711)

@Jon Custer I like how your "I'm not boastful" reply is actually more boastful! Clever!

Phil Koesterer (#2,708)

Ugh, John Irving.

brad (#1,678)

@fb16829123 – TRUE STORY- i was about 12 and reading salem's lot. turned out light tried to sleep. well, said light was right above my head, bare bulb shining directly down on my face. so, i freak out a little and turn light on, looking right into the bulb as it fires up. then i look out into the dark hallway. of course, i see the afterimage of the bulb. but that's not what i thought it was. i thought it was a giant glowing eyeball. so i screamed. my mom ran into my room looking a little irritated. that is until i said 'there is a giant glowing eyeball chasing me'. she let me sleep in her bed.

brad (#1,678)

@brad – what the hell? did i rip the very fabric of time/space?

barnhouse (#1,326)

@brad Probably there is a giant glowing eyeball chasing you. Chasing all of us.

Pound of Salt (#15,166)

Someone told me they hated Pet Sematary the movie and I got SO INDIGNANT until I realized I thought they were talking about Cemetery Man. But Pet Sematary is good, too.

HiredGoons (#603)

My dad built a fence in our front yard, because we were in front of a rural route, because of this book.

Also I may have had a Pet Sematary.

lovelettersinhell (#13,711)

I was ten or so when I read the Regulators and Desperation. I learned the word "Pussy". That stuck with me more than the plot of the horror bits.

Pim Robert@facebook (#224,006)

@lovelettersinhell AAAH Desperation! Where a yeast infection saves the day for a moment!

Pim Robert@facebook (#224,006)

Mr. King was the one that introduced me to the onomatopoeia for when someone voids their bowels. It's BRRRRRRRRAAAP. There's at least one in every story.

Kumara (#241,096)

I also have a cat and the story about the quotidian fight between Good and Evil that goes on between her two pointy ears is true. I pray everyday that maybe taking her to a luxury cat boarding inn will save me from her coming back to scratch my sofa and then asking for food.

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