Monday, May 9th, 2011
25

Man Too Lazy To Delete Things Diagnosed As "E-Hoarder"


"E-hoarding is a very new phenomenon," says this report. I can't wait until everything in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders is based on local news' need to frame stories around the popular reality shows of the day. Are YOU an e-hoarder? E-Tell us in the e-comments! But don't e-mail it to us, because we e-delete that stuff e-ASAP.

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25 Comments / Post A Comment

HiredGoons (#603)

related: Craigslist e-whoreders.

Pop Socket (#187)

I got 18,763 items in my Gmail inbox. Do I qualify?

hockeymom (#143)

@Pop Socket You are not alone. See below.

hockeymom (#143)

This guy is an amateur. I have 11-thousand emails saved on my Mac. Because YOU NEVER KNOW.
Also, Go Pack Go. (maybe he's my long lost brother?)

SeanP (#4,058)

@hockeymom Being a Packer fan does make up for a lot. Also, I have every piece of mail I've ever received or sent (at my work account) since 2006. Maybe I'M your long lost brother.

He's not so much an e-hoarder as he is a serious slob.

HiredGoons (#603)

@Clarence Rosario: and a Packers fan.

scroll_lock (#4,122)

@HiredGoons – Is that a pair of his underwear on the back of that chair?

jfruh (#713)

I have nearly 10 years of outgoing and ingoing email saved on my Mac. It's not "hoarding," though; it's archiving important material for future jfruh scholars, who will be poring over it by the thousands after my death.

migraineheadache (#1,866)

Dude, you got a DELL DELL DELL DELL DELL DELL

brad (#1,678)

oh god. i've been named. pre-internet, the books on my shelves had thousands of scraps of paper in them marking various turns-of-a-phrase or facts. i had binders of ripped out magazine articles and napkins i had jotted hasty notes upon. now, i have so many emails, the email machine doesn't always work. My Favorites takes 10 minutes to scroll through- even with 15 sub-folders. my pilfered picture file sometimes just won't open, burdened by the weight of so many right click and save as's. these storage devices have replaced my brain as memory keeper. or, at least, i want them to.

HelloTitty (#830)

bin Laden was an e-hoarder. Pass it on.

scroll_lock (#4,122)

"I'm an e-collector. Yeah, that's it."

Lockheed Ventura (#5,536)

Select all emails in Inbox. Copy into "Tickler" folder. Mental disorder cured for at least a day.

"bin Laden was an e-hoarder." — Martin Luther King, Jr.

MollyculeTheory (#4,519)

@sorry your heinous I think you'll find that it was actually Clarence Thomas who said that.

scroll_lock (#4,122)

Chris Farley hot, lazy and a snappy dresser/decorator. CAN A GIRL ONLY DREAM THAT HE'S ALSO AVAILABLE?

bytehead (#4,763)

A coworker never threw away his phone messages. Ever! He kept them with him until the year was up, then he'd file them away and start a new stack. Now, this was when email was just getting started, and he never deleted an email. He was VERY unhappy when he had to start deleting some of them because his 2 megabyte mailbox was full. We may laugh now, but this was before we were even connected to the Internet, so everything was intracompany anyway. I think the servers might have had 200 megabytes on them, so yes, space was at a premium.

Art Yucko (#1,321)

This is how your Tumblr Photo-replies is made.

Spena (#640)

Do E-Hoarding symptoms always manifest themselves alongside CHRONIC NECK-SWEAT?

Get this man a wet-nap!

geilt (#12,086)

54843 emails. 7.6 GB…and counting…I actually had to upgrade my gmail storage!

Some Guy (#12,087)

Am I the only one that finds it strange that whenever his hdd is full he buys a whole new computer?

Related: Man Eager To Delete Things Diagnosed "Hasidic Editor"

Ok, yes, I find it a bit odd that he purchases a new computer every time his HDD fills up, but you'll notice they're all pre-built, pre-loaded – he may not know how to add a HDD.

My problem with the story isn't just that I find it silly – I find it stupid. The time it would take to manage the silly email accounts and make them all neat and pretty is worth a lot more than the $49 it costs to buy a new hard drive and slap it in a machine.

If you're such a neat freak that you have to clean out every new email, I suggest that you go talk to someone about your own OCD issues rather than label those of us who don't as having mental health issues.

Packer…hoarder…seems inevitable to me. ;)

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