Thursday, December 2nd, 2010

Tom Brady Talks About Uggs

It's Thursday, and the NFL's ambitious attempt to rebrand one of everyone's favorite days continues apace. Time to hop on the golf cart with Robert Kraft and take in a middling-but-undeniably-early-in-the-week football game. Or not, if you'd prefer not—there are always books and any number of other things that don't involve having to listen to the NFL Network's Matt Millen doing his Sergeant Slaughter imitation. But the game: the game is between the Philadelphia Eagles and the heartrendingly snakebit Houston Texans. The Eagles have come back to earth somewhat, and the Texans have an odd ability to lose any game in any way, regardless of how well they'd played beforehand, but the Eagles are 9-point favorites, which seemed like a lot—until I remembered that I didn't really care all that much who won. Then I picked the Eagles and went on with my day. The coin also favors the Eagles in this one. Also, a note on this week's Yakkin' About Football.

There won't be one. This is because Jeff actually has a serious job, and does not—unlike me—always have time to try to figure out what type of sandwich Andy Reid would like the most. (The answer: a tuna melt between two pieces of pound cake, with bechamel sauce) We'll be back next week with the usual ridiculousness. One thing we would've discussed: Tom Brady's sponsorship of Ugg apparel. He's taking it seriously, as this combative statement proves.

BRADY: And you see this happen every time someone tries to branch out and try something different, push himself. When Justin Timberlake—close friend, we watch DVR'ed episodes of "Entourage" on Tuesdays, sometimes via Skype but every Tuesday since 2005—wanted to get into restaurants, people were like, "You're spreading yourself too thin, concentrate on your acting." That's just an example. There are a bunch of others. Bruce Willis and his vodka brand, and this one's near and dear to me because Bruce and I were co-chairs of this Anti-Death Tax Gala that Roger Goodell hosted last year, but Bruce put his heart and soul into that vodka, and everyone in the media's like, "No, famous people can't have vodka brands, but maybe you can have yours as long as you don't go back to making music."

I'm maybe off topic, but my point being that Ugg clothing is a product I believe in, it's a natural fit for me and my brand, and so partnering with them isn't the sort of thing I really like seeing criticized. And there's this argument that Uggs, you hear this argument, sometimes: "Ugg boots are just for women, and more specifically they're just for women in certain parts of Nassau County and that Pamela Geller woman who goes around stopping up the toilets in Middle Eastern restaurants with paper towels because she hates Sharia law so much." And that sentiment is ignorant, that sentiment is stupid, okay. Because I buy the boots for my offensive lineman every season, and they love them. Logan Mankins wears them during practice. You can't see it, but Tully Banta-Cain wears this fur-lined Ugg hat that I got him for Secret Santa last year under his helmet when it gets cold. It's disgusting, by this point, it looks like a giant hairy pancake and smells like microwaved diapers, but Tully swears by it. And these are men. Tell Tully Banta-Cain that men don't wear Ugg apparel, you know?

But my point is that I'm branching out—because I'm not just a football player, you know, any more than Bruce Willis is just an actor. He's a bluesman. He loves vodka. He's a PERSON, okay. And people have interests, and some of us have brands, and those brands need cultivating the same as any other person's brand does. So I feel like people need to get over it. And anyway, I'm trying to focus on the Jets. That's job one.

David Roth co-writes the Wall Street Journal's Daily Fix, contributes to the sports blog Can't Stop the Bleeding and has his own little website. And he tweets!

25 Comments / Post A Comment

boyofdestiny (#1,243)

If Matt Millen is Sgt. Slaughter, does that mean Draft Day is the Iron Sheik?

Then again, that doesn't make sense. Slaughter used to actually beat the Sheik every now and then.

Abe Sauer (#148)

It means Jared Allen is Brutus the Barber Beefcake.

barnhouse (#1,326)

He's a person, okay.

Bittersweet (#765)

Lunch hitting monitor right after "bechamel sauce." Of course that's Andy Reid's favorite sandwich.

And hey, Brady, Bruce Willis finally gave and went bald gracefully. Just sayin'.

Brady is actually the perfect spokesperson for Uggs: bland, unimaginative, inexplicably popular, forced onto our collective consciousness.

Like Boston in general.

garge (#736)

Wow, Clarence. I have been trying to articulate that for the past seven years, but kept choking up on the gaaaaahs.

jolie (#16)

Tough but fair.

boyofdestiny (#1,243)

I'm having a hard time figuring out how a town that's nearly universally despised can also be inexplicably popular. Look! Even its own residents/former residents can't bring themselves to defend the place!

@BoD Boston is just fun to rag on, just like Philly and DC. Or in other words, it isn't NYC. Well, what is?

@jolie: I was actually wracked with anxiety awaiting your response.

Bittersweet (#765)

Hey, I love Boston, to the point where I get choked up seeing the Hancock Tower and the financial district when I fly home into Logan.

Of course, I grew up right outside DC, so my expectations and standards may be pretty low.

boyofdestiny (#1,243)

@sorry: I thought that's what the entire South was for! Let's keep it together, Team Northeast!

Kevin (#2,559)

I'm with you b_o_d; as a transplant to these here parts I can't stand to live anywhere else. Lord how I've tried.

freetzy (#7,018)

I feel like we need to start a fund for David Roth now, because making fun of Pamella Geller is not going to go over well with the fruitcakes at the WSJ Op-Ed department.

David Roth (#4,429)

You should start a fund for me anyway. I'm tired of eating sardines for lunch and dinner all week.

boyofdestiny (#1,243)

Yeah, I don't mean this as a guilt trip but as a sincere and heartfelt compliment: I was really bummed that there was no Yakkin' About Football yesterday.

How does Tom know what microwaved diapers smell like? He ditches broads when they get knocked up, if I recall correctly.

He actually does have a young son with Gisele, but good burn, nonetheless.

BirdNerd (#4,196)

Anti-Death Tax Gala ???

Ok, so maybe there is one event I wouldn't mind that much if it got bombed.

That was my favorite line.

But is Bruce Willis actually one of the elusive Hollywood Republicans?

barnhouse (#1,326)

His occasional assertions to the contrary are not credible.

Ronit (#1,557)


pansons (#4,471)

Wait, I can get vodka with the heart and soul of Bruce Willis in it?

KarenUhOh (#19)

Well, sure. After it's passed through a few other organs.

Jessica Roake (#8,851)

i really loved this, friend. any day when i am reminded of bruce "renaissance hawk" willis' blues chops is a fine one (bad hudson hawk joke not work). also, dan has some pretty sweet smoked fish recipes, for fancyin' up that poverty diet! you could be scandanaviany!

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