Secretive Maybe-Gay Dead Brit Spy May Have Locked Self Into Sports Bag?
The Daily Mail is doing us the service of not letting up on the strange case of Gareth Williams, the MI6 spy found dead in his apartment. First, they provide this graphic of the sports "hold-all" in which his body was found, with this breaking news: "a woman police officer climbed into the holdall in which codebreaker Gareth Williams' naked body was found, re-enacting the events which it is thought could have led to his death. She managed to zip up the bag and padlock it from the inside." Well, case closed! More shockingly, the word is that the big gay frame-up-his parents claim he's straight-actually doesn't exist? "Police denied claims that gay magazines, bondage gear and the phone numbers of gay escort men were found in the apartment near his body." Also here is there best stand-alone paragraph: "Erotic asphyxiation is defined as the intentional restriction of oxygen to the brain for sexual arousal." Oh really.
This case was closed. Now zip it, Sicha.
Where's the #EROTIC ASPHYXIATION tag?! It has legs!
And they're dangling from a tiled ceiling of a La Quinta in Biloxi.
He obviously didn't stuff himself in the duffel bag. Even if he had padlocked himself inside, he could have used one of his knives to cut himself out.
Duh.
Dudes: always comparing the dimensions of their junk.
(The government has been wasting a ton of taxpayer money on full-length body bags for years!)
That garment bag from the David Carradine Collection leaves fewer wrinkles.
Greatest Quizzo Name I Never Used: Hang In There, David Carradine.
Worst. Community Theatre Reproduction of the Ocean's 11 Remake. Ever.
I wonder if, after the policewoman zipped and locked herself inside, the others did the old "OK we'll see you later" trick, and just walked away and left her like that way for an hour?
That's the kind of thing my older brothers would've done to me when I was a kid. But English cops are more mature than that, I suppose.
My neighbors actually did this to me.
I am claustrophobic (now), by the way.
I own an earlier version of the same bag, in a somewhat kinkier black vinyl. When I get home I'll have to see if I can climb inside it. But I'll take my phone in case I get into any trouble in there.
Like if you discover a dragon living in it?
There's gotta be a way to make a Halloween costume out of this.
Did you change your avatar to match your comment? Because, awesome.
Anyone else loving the not even remotely to scale Daily Mail photoshopped in there?