When last we checked in on the dead maybe-murdered maybe-gay Gareth Williams MI6 spy story—back in September!—we were learning about how he may have locked himself allegedly into his own sports bag? Now, at Christmas-time, no less, we are learning a few things! For one, an investigator believes "that someone else had been involved in putting Williams into the bag." Well good, the laws of physics remain unchallenged! A few other things? Bondage website browser history, for one. "Detectives also found a £15,000 collection of unworn women's designer clothing, including tops, dresses and shoes, in his wardrobe." (Collection includes Louboutin! Also, he was (secretly) a fashion design [...]

The strange case of Gareth Williams, the British spy found dead and padlocked inside a sports bag, with the phone numbers of gay escorts scattered about his apartment, is getting stranger. Let's see: "The cause of his death has still not been established despite two post mortems being carried out. There were no obvious injuries on his body." Also! "His position regularly took him to the US where he liaised with the National Security Agency and the CIA and he is also reported to have made a number of visits to Afghanistan." And of course, there is a friend who claims the spy was plagued [...]

The Daily Mail is doing us the service of not letting up on the strange case of Gareth Williams, the MI6 spy found dead in his apartment. First, they provide this graphic of the sports "hold-all" in which his body was found, with this breaking news: "a woman police officer climbed into the holdall in which codebreaker Gareth Williams' naked body was found, re-enacting the events which it is thought could have led to his death. She managed to zip up the bag and padlock it from the inside." Well, case closed! More shockingly, the word is that the big gay frame-up-his parents claim he's straight-actually doesn't [...]

Almost everyone's gay, including now Crispin Blunt, "the Tory MP and prisons minister," who, at 50, is leaving his wife. (Yes he is Emily Blunt's uncle, which would make anyone gay.) BUT. In other amazing English news today, one person who may not be gay is "murdered British spy Gareth Williams." No, seriously, this whole thing makes The Valerie Plame Incident™ look sort of dull? Because: "Police sources believe one theory is the spy's killer may have planted a trail of clues to make it seem as though he was murdered by a gay lover." Those clues include what the Daily Mail adorably calls "the phone [...]

The talking points out of Washington on murdered British spy Gareth Williams come from NSA expert James Bamford: "There's been a lot of hyped-up coverage in the U.K., but even codebreakers die from unrelated violence occasionally. Hundreds of NSA and GCHQ personnel travel back and forth between agencies every year, and leaving a body in a canvas bag sounds more like a jealous lover or drug deal gone bad than a political assassination." Yes, it's so much more likely that some jealous person stuffed his murdered spy lover into a padlocked sports bag than some member of a spy agency did. That's like a daily thing. You [...]