Since we last checked in, Bros Icing Bros has become even more of a THING. This bro himself was Iced five times in a 36-hour span over the weekend. A Bro friend at Stanford Business School sends word of what was potentially the first-ever group Icing on Monday–at the hands of a restaurant waiter, who brought an ice-cold sixer out with the entrees. One of the victims was the CE-Bro of a pro sports team. Another Bro acquaintance had to schlep to three different Lower East Side bodegas on Sunday to find one that even had Smirnoff Ice in stock. I will make an educated guess and say that that was the first time that any of those bodegas had ever sold out of the drink.
Yet as the Icing phenomenon gains steam, anti-Bro haters have become increasingly vocal in their claims that this is purely a viral marketing stunt. In this week's New York magazine's "Approval Matrix," Bros Icing Bros is characterized as "probably a marketing stunt" (it's in the Lowbrow/Brilliant quadrant.) A blog post at the New York Times also warned that this is a "possible marketing stunt."
So cynical! Luckily, this Bro was at a house party over the weekend (yes, he was Iced), where he randomly Bro'd out with a marketing rep for Diageo, the parent company of Guinness, Baileys, Tanqueray-and, yes, Smirnoff. Said Bro was kind enough to put me in touch with a Senior Director of Corporate Communications at the company, who agreed to talk about the meme of the moment-though wanted to only be identified as a "spokesperson." Here's what she had to say.
SO WHEN DID YOU GUYS BECOME AWARE THAT THIS WAS HAPPENING?
It got on our radar over the last few weeks, as it became an online thing. People started sending pictures and stories to employees at the company.
WHAT WAS YOUR INITIAL REACTION?
There are a lot of interesting things that consumers do with our brands. This was just one of those things. If you look around, there are lots of examples of this sort of stuff happening with the online community. Things like this happen.
TELL ME THIS ISN'T SOME MARKETING SCHEME HATCHED INSIDE YOUR OFFICE TO GET PEOPLE TO DRINK YOUR PRODUCT!
Icing is consumer generated. Some people think it's fun. We never want underage Icing, and we always want responsible drinking.
HAVE YOU NOTICED AN IMPACT IN SALES FROM THIS?
That would require an awful lot of icing [laughs]. Smirnoff is a large brand, and so is Smirnoff Ice. It would have to be much bigger for us to notice anything in terms of sales.
WHO IS THE QUINTESSENTIAL SMIRNOFF ICE DRINKER? IS IT A BRO?
We have a very diverse and loyal consumer base. People might be surprised to know that it's about 50-50 male-female. Most of our consumers are between 21-39. It's a national brand and a national product.
SO YOU GUYS DON'T TARGET BROS? I'VE ACTUALLY HEARD THAT IT'S MARKETED TOWARDS YOUNG "URBAN" COMMUNITIES.
I would characterize our base as diverse. We have a 28 percent market share of the malt beverage business. It's a popular beverage.
WHAT'S THE COMPANY'S TAKE ON ICING?
I'm sure everyone has a different view. I wouldn't say Diageo has a view on Icing. It's just something consumers are doing.
A LARGE PART OF THE HUMOR SEEMS TO BE DEPENDENT ON THE FACT THAT PEOPLE FIND SMIRNOFF ICE, UH, UNPALATABLE. HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT THAT?
Smirnoff Ice is one of the best-known brands in the world. Fans will continue to enjoy it, regardless of the Icing phenomenon.
OKAY. THANKS FOR YOUR TIME. YOU SWEAR YOU'RE NOT BEHIND THIS?
Yes. We were as surprised as everyone else.
HAVE YOU EVER BEEN ICED?
No.
Fratboy Slim is a bro in New York who doesn't want to lose his job for writing about the joys of icing bros.

I have to go ice myself. And not with Smirnoff.
I want to get iced SO FUCKING BAD. Really wish this was hip during my frat days. Would've iced the shit out of so many bros instead of shoving their toothbrushes down my pants.
You could just shove the Smirnoff Ice bottle down your pants before the icing. It's win-win!
Ima do it this weekend. Will post pics.
Is shoving toothburshes down your pants a euphemism for something else?
Shoving toothbrushes down my pants is shoving toothbrushes down my pants. Rub the bristles on your naughty bits after a sweaty workout, then tell your bro--mid-brush, of course!--that he has your balls in his mouth. (I do not actually believe I am explaining this--I thought everybody did shit like this to his bros?)
No, no, they do. Just wanted to hear it explained out loud (er, um electronically). Carry on.
What happens if a bro refuses to be iced by another bro? What would happen if Hamid Karzai tried to ice Barack Obama during a state dinner? Both are clearly bros, do you see?
I think a Council of Bros is urgently needed to address this and many other issues surrounding icing. I move for a quorum of bros to meet immediately at the nearest Senor Frog's. Video uplinks to bro headquarters will be provided.
A real bro would never refuse ice.
You may as well ask what happens if the sun refuses to shine.
Mike: I understand.
What would happen if there was some kind of coordinated, mass-icing? Like 30 people iced you within the space of an hour and then the EMT iced you in the ambulance on the way to the hospital, and then the triage nurse, and then the lab technician? And then when you woke up, your mother and father and grandfather all came in one by one to see you, each with a cold delicious Ice in their hands?
I'm not saying it's going to happen tomorrow, but theoretically it's possible that you could spend the rest of your life being iced!
If a bro refuses to get iced, said bro must toss the salad of the icing bro.
@lawyergay:
The rules of Icing clearly state, "if you refuse to drink the Ice you are instantly excommunicated and shunned, and thus can never Ice another bro or be Iced."
@Lawyergay:
Q:"What would happen if Hamid Karzai tried to ice Barack Obama during a state dinner?"
A: Ice Jurga.
Last night at my regular poker game, one bro was late and so we left an Ice for him at his spot at the table. By the time he got there, it was room temperature (in other words, PERFECT Ice conditions).
He REFUSED to drink it. Dude...
petej: My bad. As my old boss used to say: "Always start with the statute."
@I'd like to see a wedding mass-icing. Grandparents and other ancients' arthritic knees hitting the deck and being iced against their will while corsaged and in their wedding finery. Bonus points if occurring mid-electric slide.
@lawyergay:
What would happen if there was some kind of coordinated, mass-icing?...
Then Bro up, recognICE that you are about be shitfICED for the rest of ICEternity.
My Grandad would've done something really nefarious, like Icing Bros with a Geritol bottle.
A real bro would let his grandpa ice him to death.
@Mike Riggs: Grandpa would NEVER Ice you to death, Bro! The tradition has to be handed down from GrandpaBro to FatherBro to SonBro to BroBro henceforth and forever.
@Art: That is so beautiful I want to cry. Let's ice.
In case anyone thought that Smirnoff somehow had turned into a clever company with a unique branding vision. This was always my biggest opposition to the "it's a marketing stunt" claim - it'd take a very special brand manager to actually think of this, sell it to Smirnoff (Smirnoff of all companies!) and execute it.
I direct you towards the shit Smirnoff has produced before.
...I dunno. "Party on the Slip & Slide" isn't that far removed from an actual Brohammer,LLC. activity.
Sure, but if ad campaigns were built around "shit the customer actually does," Bud Light would have much more of an image problem.
"The Foam Pool" spot is 100% Williamsburglar fantasy through the eyes of a Douchebag, so I'm not at all prepared to deny you this truth.
I don't eat processed sugar. Is there an appropriate substitute for Smirnoff Ice?
This trend is sorely lacking a locally-sourced, organic, low-carbon footprint malted alcohol beverage suitable for consumption by the rest of us.
Can Gays use straight vodka? (calories!)
Full of win.
@giovanni: yes, there is. Icepartame.
I can't wait until Ambulance-Chaser Law Firms get their fingers into this.
DID YOUR BRO ICE YOU AT RANDOM, AGAINST YOUR WILL? WERE YOU UNFAIRLY SINGLED OUT BY LAW ENFORCEMENT FOR PUBLIC INTOXICATION? HERE AT THE LAW FIRMS OF LUSH, FINKELSTEIN & SCHLOSSFACER WE UNDERSTAND YOUR RIGHTS AS AN ICE-VICTIM. CALL 1-800-867-5309 AND GET THE COMPENSATION YOU DESERVE!
(@90 decibels/3:30 AM.)
IF YOU HAVE A PHONE, YOU HAVE A BROYER.
You, sir, are on fire. "Brohammer, LLC" and "Schlossfacer" are very fine indeed.
Fratboy Slim is Neel Shah?
http://twitter.com/fneel/status/14541803757
Bingo.
I can some bro gets me with a jobbing. That way I can make some coin and not cry myself to sleep while eating Spaghettios from the can.
#more_like_Spaghettbros
from Chef Manardee
I'm frightened, and more than a little turned on.
So is there any part of Bro life that isn't laced with brutal humiliating ritual?
No.
Which leads to my second question, (Bro's are a unique genus to the US, hence my anthropological interest), why Bro then ?
Well, wait, Art! Sometimes, the humiliatee is a woman, which is only, like, 3/5ths of a bro.
@Mindpowered: Bros are unequivocally NOT unique to the US; have you ever been to Southern Europe!?
Lived a month on the island of Crete. Check.
Lived a year in Italy? Check.
Now, Cretans & Basilicatans may share superficial similarities with Bro's (like getting fucked on ouzo, or Amoro Lucano and shooting the sit out of everything) but Docking?
As far as I can tell, Bro are an Anglo Saxon phenomena closely related to the genii of the "Boer", and the "English Public School Boy" (hence the Greek letters, Drinking and Dick touching).
I'm pretty sure docking is linked to bro-hood only in satire.
What a country.
Two can play in any marketing game. I pick Prestone.
Why did spokesperson not want to be identified if s/he was going to responsibly represent the company? Damnit, if you're getting anonymity, don't actually do your job well!