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Wednesday, May 26, 2010

48

Smirnoff Rep Speaks: We're Not Behind 'Bros Icing Bros'

MORE BROS ICEDSince we last checked in, Bros Icing Bros has become even more of a THING. This bro himself was Iced five times in a 36-hour span over the weekend. A Bro friend at Stanford Business School sends word of what was potentially the first-ever group Icing on Monday–at the hands of a restaurant waiter, who brought an ice-cold sixer out with the entrees. One of the victims was the CE-Bro of a pro sports team. Another Bro acquaintance had to schlep to three different Lower East Side bodegas on Sunday to find one that even had Smirnoff Ice in stock. I will make an educated guess and say that that was the first time that any of those bodegas had ever sold out of the drink.

Yet as the Icing phenomenon gains steam, anti-Bro haters have become increasingly vocal in their claims that this is purely a viral marketing stunt. In this week's New York magazine's "Approval Matrix," Bros Icing Bros is characterized as "probably a marketing stunt" (it's in the Lowbrow/Brilliant quadrant.) A blog post at the New York Times also warned that this is a "possible marketing stunt."

So cynical! Luckily, this Bro was at a house party over the weekend (yes, he was Iced), where he randomly Bro'd out with a marketing rep for Diageo, the parent company of Guinness, Baileys, Tanqueray-and, yes, Smirnoff. Said Bro was kind enough to put me in touch with a Senior Director of Corporate Communications at the company, who agreed to talk about the meme of the moment-though wanted to only be identified as a "spokesperson." Here's what she had to say.

SO WHEN DID YOU GUYS BECOME AWARE THAT THIS WAS HAPPENING?
It got on our radar over the last few weeks, as it became an online thing. People started sending pictures and stories to employees at the company.

WHAT WAS YOUR INITIAL REACTION?
There are a lot of interesting things that consumers do with our brands. This was just one of those things. If you look around, there are lots of examples of this sort of stuff happening with the online community. Things like this happen.

TELL ME THIS ISN'T SOME MARKETING SCHEME HATCHED INSIDE YOUR OFFICE TO GET PEOPLE TO DRINK YOUR PRODUCT!
Icing is consumer generated. Some people think it's fun. We never want underage Icing, and we always want responsible drinking.

HAVE YOU NOTICED AN IMPACT IN SALES FROM THIS?
That would require an awful lot of icing [laughs]. Smirnoff is a large brand, and so is Smirnoff Ice. It would have to be much bigger for us to notice anything in terms of sales.

WHO IS THE QUINTESSENTIAL SMIRNOFF ICE DRINKER? IS IT A BRO?
We have a very diverse and loyal consumer base. People might be surprised to know that it's about 50-50 male-female. Most of our consumers are between 21-39. It's a national brand and a national product.

SO YOU GUYS DON'T TARGET BROS? I'VE ACTUALLY HEARD THAT IT'S MARKETED TOWARDS YOUNG "URBAN" COMMUNITIES.
I would characterize our base as diverse. We have a 28 percent market share of the malt beverage business. It's a popular beverage.

WHAT'S THE COMPANY'S TAKE ON ICING?
I'm sure everyone has a different view. I wouldn't say Diageo has a view on Icing. It's just something consumers are doing.

A LARGE PART OF THE HUMOR SEEMS TO BE DEPENDENT ON THE FACT THAT PEOPLE FIND SMIRNOFF ICE, UH, UNPALATABLE. HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT THAT?
Smirnoff Ice is one of the best-known brands in the world. Fans will continue to enjoy it, regardless of the Icing phenomenon.

OKAY. THANKS FOR YOUR TIME. YOU SWEAR YOU'RE NOT BEHIND THIS?
Yes. We were as surprised as everyone else.

HAVE YOU EVER BEEN ICED?
No.



Fratboy Slim is a bro in New York who doesn't want to lose his job for writing about the joys of icing bros.

48 Comments / Post A Comment

Jim Behrle
Jim Behrle (#3,292)

I have to go ice myself. And not with Smirnoff.

Mike Riggs
Mike Riggs (#3,658)

I want to get iced SO FUCKING BAD. Really wish this was hip during my frat days. Would've iced the shit out of so many bros instead of shoving their toothbrushes down my pants.

Van Buren Boy
Van Buren Boy (#1,233)

You could just shove the Smirnoff Ice bottle down your pants before the icing. It's win-win!

Mike Riggs
Mike Riggs (#3,658)

Ima do it this weekend. Will post pics.

doubled277
doubled277 (#2,783)

Is shoving toothburshes down your pants a euphemism for something else?

Mike Riggs
Mike Riggs (#3,658)

Shoving toothbrushes down my pants is shoving toothbrushes down my pants. Rub the bristles on your naughty bits after a sweaty workout, then tell your bro--mid-brush, of course!--that he has your balls in his mouth. (I do not actually believe I am explaining this--I thought everybody did shit like this to his bros?)

doubled277
doubled277 (#2,783)

No, no, they do. Just wanted to hear it explained out loud (er, um electronically). Carry on.

lawyergay
lawyergay (#220)

What happens if a bro refuses to be iced by another bro? What would happen if Hamid Karzai tried to ice Barack Obama during a state dinner? Both are clearly bros, do you see?

I think a Council of Bros is urgently needed to address this and many other issues surrounding icing. I move for a quorum of bros to meet immediately at the nearest Senor Frog's. Video uplinks to bro headquarters will be provided.

Mike Riggs
Mike Riggs (#3,658)

A real bro would never refuse ice.

deepomega
deepomega (#1,720)

You may as well ask what happens if the sun refuses to shine.

lawyergay
lawyergay (#220)

Mike: I understand.

What would happen if there was some kind of coordinated, mass-icing? Like 30 people iced you within the space of an hour and then the EMT iced you in the ambulance on the way to the hospital, and then the triage nurse, and then the lab technician? And then when you woke up, your mother and father and grandfather all came in one by one to see you, each with a cold delicious Ice in their hands?

I'm not saying it's going to happen tomorrow, but theoretically it's possible that you could spend the rest of your life being iced!

SpyMagician
SpyMagician (#2,024)

If a bro refuses to get iced, said bro must toss the salad of the icing bro.

petejayhawk
petejayhawk (#1,249)

@lawyergay:

The rules of Icing clearly state, "if you refuse to drink the Ice you are instantly excommunicated and shunned, and thus can never Ice another bro or be Iced."

Art Yucko
Art Yucko (#1,321)

@Lawyergay:
Q:"What would happen if Hamid Karzai tried to ice Barack Obama during a state dinner?"

A: Ice Jurga.

sigerson
sigerson (#179)

Last night at my regular poker game, one bro was late and so we left an Ice for him at his spot at the table. By the time he got there, it was room temperature (in other words, PERFECT Ice conditions).

He REFUSED to drink it. Dude...

lawyergay
lawyergay (#220)

petej: My bad. As my old boss used to say: "Always start with the statute."

scroll_lock
scroll_lock (#4,122)

@I'd like to see a wedding mass-icing. Grandparents and other ancients' arthritic knees hitting the deck and being iced against their will while corsaged and in their wedding finery. Bonus points if occurring mid-electric slide.

Art Yucko
Art Yucko (#1,321)

@lawyergay:
What would happen if there was some kind of coordinated, mass-icing?...

Then Bro up, recognICE that you are about be shitfICED for the rest of ICEternity.

My Grandad would've done something really nefarious, like Icing Bros with a Geritol bottle.

Mike Riggs
Mike Riggs (#3,658)

A real bro would let his grandpa ice him to death.

Art Yucko
Art Yucko (#1,321)

@Mike Riggs: Grandpa would NEVER Ice you to death, Bro! The tradition has to be handed down from GrandpaBro to FatherBro to SonBro to BroBro henceforth and forever.

Mike Riggs
Mike Riggs (#3,658)

@Art: That is so beautiful I want to cry. Let's ice.

deepomega
deepomega (#1,720)

In case anyone thought that Smirnoff somehow had turned into a clever company with a unique branding vision. This was always my biggest opposition to the "it's a marketing stunt" claim - it'd take a very special brand manager to actually think of this, sell it to Smirnoff (Smirnoff of all companies!) and execute it.

I direct you towards the shit Smirnoff has produced before.

Art Yucko
Art Yucko (#1,321)

...I dunno. "Party on the Slip & Slide" isn't that far removed from an actual Brohammer,LLC. activity.

deepomega
deepomega (#1,720)

Sure, but if ad campaigns were built around "shit the customer actually does," Bud Light would have much more of an image problem.

Art Yucko
Art Yucko (#1,321)

"The Foam Pool" spot is 100% Williamsburglar fantasy through the eyes of a Douchebag, so I'm not at all prepared to deny you this truth.

GiovanniGF
GiovanniGF (#224)

I don't eat processed sugar. Is there an appropriate substitute for Smirnoff Ice?

Tuna Surprise
Tuna Surprise (#573)

This trend is sorely lacking a locally-sourced, organic, low-carbon footprint malted alcohol beverage suitable for consumption by the rest of us.

HiredGoons
HiredGoons (#603)

Can Gays use straight vodka? (calories!)

Nrbelex
Nrbelex (#1,742)

Full of win.

Art Yucko
Art Yucko (#1,321)

@giovanni: yes, there is. Icepartame.

Art Yucko
Art Yucko (#1,321)

I can't wait until Ambulance-Chaser Law Firms get their fingers into this.

DID YOUR BRO ICE YOU AT RANDOM, AGAINST YOUR WILL? WERE YOU UNFAIRLY SINGLED OUT BY LAW ENFORCEMENT FOR PUBLIC INTOXICATION? HERE AT THE LAW FIRMS OF LUSH, FINKELSTEIN & SCHLOSSFACER WE UNDERSTAND YOUR RIGHTS AS AN ICE-VICTIM. CALL 1-800-867-5309 AND GET THE COMPENSATION YOU DESERVE!

(@90 decibels/3:30 AM.)

deepomega
deepomega (#1,720)

IF YOU HAVE A PHONE, YOU HAVE A BROYER.

libmas
libmas (#231)

You, sir, are on fire. "Brohammer, LLC" and "Schlossfacer" are very fine indeed.

hugesunglasses
hugesunglasses (#2,696)

Fratboy Slim is Neel Shah?

http://twitter.com/fneel/status/14541803757

Ted Maul
Ted Maul (#205)

Bingo.

6h057
6h057 (#1,914)

I can some bro gets me with a jobbing. That way I can make some coin and not cry myself to sleep while eating Spaghettios from the can.

#more_like_Spaghettbros

gumplr
gumplr (#66)

from Chef Manardee

HiredGoons
HiredGoons (#603)

I'm frightened, and more than a little turned on.

Mindpowered
Mindpowered (#948)

So is there any part of Bro life that isn't laced with brutal humiliating ritual?

Art Yucko
Art Yucko (#1,321)

No.

Mindpowered
Mindpowered (#948)

Which leads to my second question, (Bro's are a unique genus to the US, hence my anthropological interest), why Bro then ?

deepomega
deepomega (#1,720)

Well, wait, Art! Sometimes, the humiliatee is a woman, which is only, like, 3/5ths of a bro.

Art Yucko
Art Yucko (#1,321)

@Mindpowered: Bros are unequivocally NOT unique to the US; have you ever been to Southern Europe!?

Mindpowered
Mindpowered (#948)

Lived a month on the island of Crete. Check.

Lived a year in Italy? Check.

Now, Cretans & Basilicatans may share superficial similarities with Bro's (like getting fucked on ouzo, or Amoro Lucano and shooting the sit out of everything) but Docking?

As far as I can tell, Bro are an Anglo Saxon phenomena closely related to the genii of the "Boer", and the "English Public School Boy" (hence the Greek letters, Drinking and Dick touching).

DoctorDisaster
DoctorDisaster (#1,970)

I'm pretty sure docking is linked to bro-hood only in satire.

hman
hman (#53)

What a country.

KarenUhOh
KarenUhOh (#19)

Two can play in any marketing game. I pick Prestone.

MikeBarthel
MikeBarthel (#1,884)

Why did spokesperson not want to be identified if s/he was going to responsibly represent the company? Damnit, if you're getting anonymity, don't actually do your job well!

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