Choose Your Own Adventure: The Blog Post
It’s 4 p.m. on a long Monday. Of course you could get some work done, but your boss is elsewhere, you’ve got a headache from trying to cut back on caffeine, and it’s drizzly outside. Plus they stole an hour of sleep from you over the weekend! Meaning: you’d rather just cruise the net, floating on a raft of hyperlinkage toward that horizon of informational numbness. But before you can say “choking on the pen cap you were absently chewing,” a perfectly outrageous blog post title loads in your browser, begging for—or perhaps openly provoking—your attention.
Do you… ignore the inflammatory headline and continue surfing?
Or immediately register your disgust in the comments section?
Or do you begin reading in earnest, though with some skepticism?
What, no option for popping another pill and resting your head on your keyboarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
Is there any post on TheAwl that wouldn't have been improved by the CYOA format?
I nominate "Cook a Fucking Steak", where every time you choose wrong, Balk punches you in the face and/or puts out a cigarette in your eye.
Love it. Go deeper!
must…resist…urge to… THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID
sorry about that
This is charming. I did get lost but still, charmed.
There's not enough death here. I remember a few where ONE WRONG CHOICE would lead you to HIDEOUS DEATH, every time. I always ended up flipping to the end to see what I had to do to survive.
I'm still traumatized.
there was definitely a mount everest one where it was possible to be left to suffocate in an airless room by terrorists before even getting to base camp, yes.
The entry where "the guy never wrote anything on the internet again" is a kind of hideous death for some.
I can't seem to find the one where you get the bends and drown? Please help, I need a quick screen grab for an e-card, my friend's having a baby shower and I can't make it–
Man, I love The Goonies.
For brain-melting, at the long day's close:
http://samizdat.cc/cyoa/
With actual CYOA books, I used to read the endings, find the best possible ending, and go backwards.
Is it possible to do that with this? Is it even possible?
Look, I can barely pick out something to eat at a deli – you really expect me to be able to do this? Do you WANT me to have a nervous breakdown!?
DO YOU!? PLEASE TELL ME!!!
HELLO!!!?!?!?!?
Do you see what you're doing to HiredGoons??
ARE YOU PROUD OF YOURSELF NOW?
My code name is Jonah
That cat can read the Internet!