It is absolutely no fun out there, unless you're a kid I guess, because kids, like, don't feel weather the way that we feel weather I AM TOTALLY CONVINCED OF THIS. Right? When you were a kid all you needed was a snowsuit and a pair of Freezy Freakies and you were all set to stay outdoors for ten or so hours. Now? The two and a half Midtown blocks between my office and the subway might as well have been a day spent in Pine Barrens chasing a drunk Russian.
Okay but now I'm safe and sound at home and oh boy am I ever bored! And lonely. Because my life is empty and fairly meaningless. So I'm baking cookies! For my imaginary family and friends.
There are all sorts of ways to make chocolate chip cookies, which is neat if you're into things like rising power (eggs + baking soda = is that a roll of quarters in your pocket or are you just etc.?) and also a nice trick to know about if you prefer one style of cookie over another. This recipe yields thin cookies that are crispy on the edges and chewy in the middle, a combination that makes me want to waltz around my apartment trilling, "You can never be too thin or too chewy!"
I never said I didn't understand why I was all alone in life.
Melt a stick of butter and then let it cool. I have no qualms about sticking the melted butter in the fridge to speed things along, and though I'm SURE there're baking purists out there clutching at their pearls over this admission, you should feel free to do the same.
Measure 1/3 of a cup of white sugar and 1/2 a cup of brown sugar into a mixing bowl. Hum a few bars of Ebony and Ivory if you want to! Stir the melted butter in, then add a 1/2 teaspoon of vanilla and 3 tablespoons of water.
Next stir in 1/4 of a teaspoon of salt, 3/4 teaspoon baking soda and 1 cup of flour. Not so hard right? And there's only one more thing to do! Mix in 1 cup of chocolate chips (or hell, any kind of chips! Butterscotch? Toffee brickle? Can you tell I have a type?)
Bake at 350° for 14 minutes (unless your oven burns hot like mine, in which case maybe 12 minutes would do? Sorry little batch that went on the bottom rack!) Et voila! Snow day cookies.
Now I'm going to go feed my pain and maybe talk to the walls.
Jolie Kerr wants to know if anyone would like to come over?
Needs more swearing.
And more wine.
Needs less cookie in the oven and more bun in the oven.
If the cookies involve an introduction to the guy that lives across the hall from you, I'm in. Otherwise, can we just drink?
Are you cute? Built? Into guys with multiple personality disorder?
Been told so; meh; OMG that shit is hot. Bonus points 'cause he appears to be Southern and emotionally unavailable. Drives. Me. Nuts.
YOU PUT WATER IN YOUR COOKIES THAT IS WHY YOU WILL DIE ALONE.
THANK YOU ALEXANDRA BALK.
Lovely! But I would sub out 35% cream for the water...
Oooh, I will try that! (See now I think - I think - the point of the water in these is to create the crispiness? Something something steam I dunno science is hard I'm a giiiiirl ovaries!)
I put a slug of Grand Marnier in mine instead of vanilla! Also, if you haven't got chocolate chips you can chop up any decent bar of dark chocolate you can get your mitts on.
Not to pry, but has the author attempted to offer these cookies to a potential love interest or other desirable persons?
OMG I am soo on the bus with the Grand Marnier idea. Oh Holy Shit--Frangelico, and you'd get hazelnut-chocolate cookies!!! [Runs to liquor store.]
Hey, finally a use for the half-bottle of espresso liqueur. Also, the cookies in the picture are...gray and fuzzy? If you weren't so enthusiastic about these, I'd have some reservations.
I read that the average person, once committed to eating chocolate chip cookies, consumes 9 of them.
This is why it's sometimes good to have commitment issues.
If that's true, I have long-term relationships with baking.
I think according to the style guide, the children playing in the snow bit is supposed to be hella depressing? Otherwise, THESE COOKIES ARE DELICIOUS.
The storm knocked out my teleporter. Can you send a batch by courier?
Where's the part where I put ice in my wine?
Every part is the part where you put ice in the wine. (Also: You guys, no really YOU GUYS! I love you so much.)
What is the correct pairing? A riesling would be way too gauche.
A little Trader Joe's bourbon vanilla extract might be a nice addition, or just drink the bourbon with the cookies.
I was thinking these would go well with a White Russian, but a bourbon Irish Coffee would also work.
Also a fat spliff.
And what will a fat spliff not go well with?
Little(?) known fact: Bourbon vanilla is merely a type of vanilla! (Thank you, Alton Brown.)
@CaptainFantastic: A briss.
Doesn't it help if the baby's mellow?
Instead of vanilla, just add a slug of Maker's Mark. Prety much works in anything you bake, and it does wonders.
Having never ventured far afield from the traditional Tollhouse recipe, I think it's time to change things up a little and give these a try. They look great.
The road to Crazyladytown is paved with toffey brickle. And davenports.
I CHEW CHEW CHEWS YOU! I made, ate and loved these. Mmmm.
My entire apartment is engaging in major EXCITED CLAPPING!!! right now! Love it!
Where's the part about pork chops?
Chechen, not Russian. Chechen.
I just made these cookies, and they're incredible. I've been looking for the magical crispy-outside-chewy-inside recipe forever!!! I feel like if you went and stood on a corner somewhere and just handed out these cookies, your lonely days would be over in, like, 2 seconds.