The Awl asked everyone (so I'm not special) to look back on the last decade and submit something, anything, of substance. I thought long and hard about this project and decided that, despite many impactful first-hand experiences such as 9/11, I should write about how over the last decade I matured to understand how little I understood in the decade before, how that mirrored how little I knew in the decade before that, and if the next decade will turn out to be the same and what that means about how much I think I know now. But then I got off the toilet and decided what I really think about when I look back on this last decade is something a little different....
I hope Joe Lieberman has a stroke.
The end.
Happy New Year! And below is a collection of progressively more embarrassing holiday pictures from my youth, to remind us all, during this season of reflection, to stay humble, if not sober, jolly or even content.
Mr. Lieberman will soon be starring opposite Mr. Sauer in Three and a Half Wise Men.
If Joe Lieberman had a stroke, his voice would become even more drawling, laconic, and guttural.
If such a thing is possible, which it might not be.
Every time I see Lieberman on TV I want to scream "Ahem! Ahem! Clear your fucking throat!" Well, I want to scream other things as well, but the above first.
It's like he constantly just drank milk.
with a Benadryl chaser.
No shame in that Tie Fighter pic, Abe. We never had the Darth Vader model, just the regular one.
Well, that's the whole thing about interpreting decades isn't it? During the period of that photo there was nothing greater to me than Star Wars. Now, decades later, I look at that and only see how Lucas destroyed everything.
The halo effect of the blackboard makes it look as if you've been beatified; foreshadowing the acid washed prince of the following decade.
A stroke stroke. Not the mini.
Lucky us. We got to begin the decade hating Joe Lieberman (for his grotesque, wan, Republican-stroking performance as VP candidate) and now we can end it hating him for upping his game to masters-level grotesque Republican hand-job giving. Hatey hate hate hate. Hate.
Abe, I had no idea you were a black man! This is like discovering LolCait is a dude all over again!
and I had no idea you were, uh, had Christmas trees!
"Joe Lieberman has stroke" is like "Coolidge is dead".
How could they tell?
You are rocking the hell out of those red sweatpants, mister! And the fact that you were pals with the long lost 4th member of Tony! Toni! Tone! makes me almost too jealous to type.
Srsly someone needs to bring back the sweatpants-with-denim-jacket and hightops look but quick.
Check for me walking my dogs on Park Ave South any day of the week - so far, not much success on the "bringing it back" part I'm not giving up any time soon.
*call me
Red sweats is my brother. As you can see, as the years wore we tried to out-ridiculous each other (sunglasses in the house and an AIDS ribbon trumped by a beret and aquamarine Nike running slicker).
Question: Mr. Sauer, do you know Jake Stango or Stacy Jones?
Nope. Do I want to know who they are?*
* No, probably not.
You have a link to them on your blog - I work with them (remotely).
Hollywood Branded.
Just curious.
Ooooh. I often write about what they do.
Not just a stroke. Let's hope the fucker dies tomorrow and that the afterlife is nothing like he expects it to be. Think lots of fourteen-year-old punker kids constantly kicking him in his slack jaw.
No. He cannot be martyred. He needs to stroke out and fade into vegetative oblivion.
That's some good tree grabbin'. Fine stuff.
Kinda gross wishing someone ill like this, no? (Cough, Cheney, Cough)
To paraphrase what that oen guy said earlier this year: There are times when peoples -- acting individually or in concert -- will find the use of wishing crippling death upon someone not only necessary but morally justified.
*cough*Cheney stroke-induced cerebral hemorrhage!*cough*
Morally justified AND necessary!
happy New Year guys