These are all of the things I have watched on the Netflix Instant Watch in this decade, in chronological order.
Let the Right One In
This was good! I liked this. The American version will be terrible. It is set in Littleton, right? UGH. So dumb.
Some 30 Rock Episodes
I didn't watch this when it first came on, so the first season was very eye-opening! Specifically because of characters and competent plotting! They kinda jumped from "Simpsons Season 2 or 3" to "Simpsons Season 11" in the course of literally two seasons. Also: Josh! There was funny stuff to be done with this character, why did you stop?
Bottle Rocket
Holds up. So good.
National Treasure: Book of Secrets
Better than the first one, def (though I watched the first one on basic cable, so commercials might've ruined the meticulous plotting). The "Sneaking into Buckingham Palace" scene was successfully intentionally amusing!
Some Monty Python episodes
These are just, like, comfort food, now, which is actually kinda weird and missing the point, when you think about it.
Spies Like Us
Comedies used to be paced so differently! But Landis is basically one of the finest American directors alive and his ten-year "Animal House" to "Coming to America" stretch is unfuckwithable (though yeah that era's Lampoon boomer asshole attitude and '60s worship/contempt can be incredibly off-putting and unpleasant and it's all very Reagany). Chevy Chase's jerk routine has aged much better than Ackroyd's nerd, though Ackroyd is inarguably a finer comedian, in terms of craft.
Batman Returns
The best Batman movie and probably my favorite superhero movie. The climax is actually genuinely beautiful, with the snow and the sad penguin army — maybe Elfman's best work, too?
The first episode of The League of Gentlemen
Didn't really "get" it.
Swing Vote
Oh, man, was this fucking movie confused. Costner was good. Actually, everyone was good! But in service of what, exactly?
Enchanted
Delightful! Seriously!
The Brothers Solomon
Had moments.
Party Down
This show is pretty good! Sad that Jane Lynch left for the other show that I'll never, ever watch.
Noises Off!
It is pretty hacky to say "a laugh out loud comedy" but this movie makes me laugh out loud. (RIP Superman! You are really good in this! Such a great cast! Bogdanovich does screwball better than anyone else because he understands screwball!)
Saboteur
Dorothy Parker co-wrote it. Pretty good vintage Hitchcock, occasionally great, but yeah if it had actually starred Gary Cooper and Barbara Stanwyck like he wanted it would be one of his best films period. (Love picaresque madcap Hitch so much.)
Eight minutes of one CSI: Miami Episode
Yeah that joke isn't funny anymore.
Two Charles in Charge episodes, for some reason?
Huh.
Kipper
This is children's cartoon about a dog and his friends. My little brother used to watch it. It's very slow and quiet and gentle and I like that in a kid's cartoon (Spielberg — who introduced children to irony with Tiny Toons and Animaniacs — has a LOT to answer for.)
The Muppets Take Manhattan
Delightful! Also AWESOME period footage of New York all over the place. Liza! Elliott Gould! Joan Rivers is awesome in this as well.
Across the Universe
Ugh! Love you Julie Taymor but UGH!
Man on Wire
Yeah basically everyone was right about this movie, wow.
Persepolis
So good!
Leonard Cohen: I'm Your Man
I wish it was easier to fast-forward on the Instant Watch. Because I couldn't get through this, because of Bono.
The Good German
I <3 "commercial" Soderbergh and despise "artsy" Soderbergh but yeah this turned out to be a really interesting experiment that is perfectly cast. As an ethical whatever it doesn't register, like at all, but as basically an extended homage to my favorite film ever ("Third Man," obv) it is def watchable. Oh, Beau Bridges is really good in this!
The Spanish Prisoner
Yeah, Mamet. It's Mamet.
Analyze This
Ok, the Landis bit might've tipped you off to the fact that I find "commercial comedies" to be an art form just like the French people all thought those dumb b-movies were actually a genre. And Harold Ramis: this man, he is amazing. Like, very few people do it better! Hollywood has basically stopped making these movies now, though, so he had to pretend to be Apatow to get his last movie done.
The Producers (the musical)
Why did I watch this? Ok, I will say this: the material is so strong that the initial office scene (YOU'RE GOING TO JUMP ON ME!) is still the funniest fucking thing in the world even when it's Broderick and Lane doing the film equivalent of a "lip dub."
Little Shop of Horrors
Hah. Yeah. Still pretty damn good, and it's hilarious to me that a couple years later Disney had Ashman and Menken doing Oscar-winning "serious" versions of the stuff they were being all kitschy and gay about in the '80s. One of the songs basically IS "Part of Your World."
High School Musical 3: Senior Year
Watched this in the middle of the night on mute while listening to, I think, Neko Case?
The Iron Giant
Yeah I missed this one back in the day. Brad Bird is obv an animation genius but I think John Lasseter and Andrew Stanton actually make movies that are both funnier and have more "heart" without feeling kinda emotionally manipulative? (Though all filmmaking is emotional manipulation obviously but still.) This is probably just me.
Vantage Point
So I saw a trailer for this and I was like "oh man a dumb thriller starring Dennis Quaid with a super obvious gimmick I am THERE." And then I watched it and basically it hit the buttons! Dennis Quaid was intense!
Eve's Beach Fantasy
You know the "Ironic porn purchase leads to unironic ejaculation" Onion story? Yeah, no, only made it through two minutes of this before getting bored.
March of the Penguins
And then we watched "March of the Penguins" and my girlfriend, who was a little drunk, began weeping, because of dead baby penguins.
Milo and Otis
So I turned this on to stop the weeping.
Arthur
Love it.
Armageddon
Eh. It should be so much better. Bruce Willis as oil-drilling space cowboy, cast of hilarious '90s misfits... Michael Bay is no Roland Emmerich.
The Last Boy Scout
I was sorta hoping I could rewatch this and discover that it was actually a secretly underrated example of another of my favorite genres, the "late-'80s early-'90s big budget action film that is really well constructed actually" (or "Die Hard" films basically) but it kind of meanders. Has some great moments though, and basically I will literally watch Bruce Willis in anything. Tony Scott has made more good films than his deadbeat brother, who has made like three, maybe. Michael Kamen score, too!
The Edge
Classic. Why isn't this basically talked about all the time, as one of the best movies ever? It should be. This is a movie annoying people should quote all the time, like they do with Glengarry.
The Hunt for Red October
You know the Harold Ramis thing, earlier? Well John McTiernan is the Harold Ramis of kickass big-budget action movies. But their era passed, and he lost his mind, sort of. It is a shame.
Pingu
This is great! It is stop-motion penguin antics. It is Scandinavian or something, I think?
Step Brothers
Hah, yeah, this movie is hilarious.
State and Main
Mamet, again! It is Mamet.
Last Action Hero
Yeesh. What happened here? What happened here is that what should've been actually a really inventive and hilarious deconstruction of the genre became a kind of clumsy and only occasionally amusing deconstruction of the genre with an really annoying kid in it. Who decided fucking Schwarzenegger should be playing the Willis role? The "Shane Black Era" was a weird time.
Faerie Tale Theatre: Three Little Pigs
Starring Billy Crystal, Jeff Goldblum, Valerie Perrine, Doris Roberts, Fred Willard and Stephen Furst.
One episode of Ripping Yarns
This is like a "British Public School" joke, so I don't really get it, but it is funny.
Multiplicity
Michael Keaton! The definition of "good in everything." Is he back, yet?
Feed
Hah, this was an AMAZING movie about an Australian internet cop who... travels to America, to take down the operator of a website that features fat women being fed to death. It is, wow. You should watch this, probably, if you HAVE THE STOMACH FOR IT. The villain is like "the poor man's Christian Bale doing an impression of the poor man's Owen Wilson."
Superman II
Pretty great. It was the, uh, the Richard Lester version.
Quarantine
This movie made no damn sense. Maybe the original foreign one was super cool but sometimes when you have these shot-for-shot remakes basically you are like "maybe that just seemed cool because it was foreign."
Daylight
Hah, this one is kind of a gem. Viggo Mortensen! The black guy dies but the DOG survives! They don't make them like this anymore!
The Comedians of Comedy: The Movie
Eh, it's comedy. (And lots of self-congratulation.)
The 13th Warrior
Oh man, I watched this because of John McTiernan, and then it turned out that Michael Crichton took over directing and ruined it (uncredited) because presumably McTiernan was trying to make his utter nonsense into something awesome. Here is a really curious Wikipedia sentence: "Ironically this film came out the same year as another film called Beowulf, but this is not the first time this has happened." Oh man, another one: "The original soundtrack was composed by Graeme Revell and featured the Dead Can Dance singer Lisa Gerrard. The score was rejected by Michael Crichton and was replaced by one composed by Crichton's usual collaborator, Jerry Goldsmith." See? What could've been!
Dreamscape: Special Edition
Why is there a Special Edition of this odd little movie? Anyway — Max von Sydow and Christopher Plummer. Best bit might actually be that Eddie "Oliver from Green Acres" Albert plays the Reagany president?
Batman & Robin
Lol, irony, etc. etc.
Masters of Horror: Joe Dante: The Screwfly Solution
Joe Dante should have at least part of the career that Sam Raimi is currently enjoying, but they gave him that Looney Tunes movie and he made it something closer to Chuck Jones than Space Jam and they couldn't really market it to anyone, so now he does... this? This little Showtime anthology show is super awesome in theory, cuz shortish films by awesome genre directors is self-evidently awesome, but premium cable budget means "you are expected to take Jason Priestley seriously." Priestley aside, this is good clever fun.
Masters of Horror: John Landis: Deer Woman
Landis works better with the aforementioned "premium cable budget" than Dante and the result is a pretty funny little movie with a surprisingly good performance from Brian fucking Benben.
John Carpenter: Cigarette Burns
This was good! I love John Carpenter! It is basically a lot like "In the Mouth of Madness" which is ALSO really good, though this one is a bit goofier, because, like, ok, it's a movie about THE MOST INTENSE AND IMMORAL MOVIE EVER MADE, a movie that literally makes viewers commit suicide, it is so goddamn disturbing, and I know it's really a metaphor for the power of art and the responsibilities of the artist but they can't get away from the fact that we're going to have to see at least little peeks of this notorious movie, and it will disappoint us. Like, you think, "how is this worse than Bride Wars?"
Fear Dot Com
Why did I watch this? Because it was called "Fear Dot Com."
John Landis: Family
This was good. Though I was thinking — was George Wendt his first choice? Did John Goodman turn him down? Would John Candy have maybe been amazing in this?
A couple Lost episodes
Part of my "attempt to figure out what the fuss was about years after the fact" series. I guess it seemed ok!
Follow that Bird
Did you know that the songs in this movie were composed by Van Dyke Parks?
Joe Dante: Homecoming
The "politics" of this movie are heavy-handed and kind of goofy but it is otherwise a pretty great little zombie movie that is also against the war.
After Hours
SO CLASSIC.
Some random SNL specials
The 1986-1990 era is always underrepresented in these. (And, obviously, the 1980-1986 era is never mentioned, at all, except for a couple Eddie Murphy sketches. Sometimes I wonder if it was as bad as we have been told! Old people: was it?)
Clear and Present Danger
Hah, man, this is actually pretty good, but it is so damn long. The idea of an acting deputy director of the CIA literally having no understanding of what the CIA actually does and has always done is hilarious. Han Solo is all, the CIA I joined would never illegally stage military actions in Latin America and you are like "sir, you must be a TERRIBLE analyst, because you don't even read newspapers apparently."
Godzilla (1996)
Yesss!! LOVED IT. Why did people hate it? Because Godzilla didn't breathe fire and wasn't that tall? Is that seriously why? Because it is great. Fighting adorable baby godzillas in Madison Square Garden! Jean fucking Reno! What is not to like?
Clash of the Titans
The best part of this movie is that adorable robot owl, obviously, though Maggie Smith is pretty kickass.
Waterworld
Hah, this was like the worst thing we thought we'd ever see? It has Dennis Hopper, it has Jet-Ski stunts performed by actual human stunt men, it has hilariously inept attempts at making satirical points about society. It's great. It also never makes any sense. I am morbidly curious about the like ten-hour extended version. Are their hysterical intense Waterworld fans somewhere on this internet that can get it released?
Zero Effect
This is like the most 1998 movie EVER.
SNL episodes from seasons 2 and 4
You forget what an awesome stable of female talent they had back then because, you know, the asshole dudes got all the attention and credit. There was one sketch that was just a joke-free musical number by Jane Curtin and Lorraine Newman and Gida Radner and Lily Tomlin (who was not the host! she just showed up!) and it was awesome. This one where Ed Koch does the monologue, too! So '70s.
That Mitchell and Webb Look
It is a shame that we only get like one sketch comedy show, here in America. This is a pretty good show with some really funny sketches but they repeat a lot of characters that maybe you have to be English to find amusing.
Ladies and gentlemen: Alex Pareene!
Mitchell and Webb are brilliant. One standout:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KaZuBziWLgk
And this
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zwXjm64a3QE
Sir Digby Chicken Caesar is wildly under-appreciated.
Zero Effect love! What a great, underrated movie!
Pretty good movie, but it makes me feel like I'm wearing pants that inappropriately wide-legged.
Holy crap, Dreamscape. I'm gonna go watch that right now.
Also, that was the first movie I ever saw Max von Sydow in, so for years after I thought of him as "that guy from Dreamscape." Not too bad, Max, not too bad.
I had the exact same experience with Flash Gordon!
This movie is so great. Sinister George Wendt is terrific.
Also, angst-y saxophone playing by the DQ is my very favorite.
This isn't really a listicle, and it has lots of commentary, which really makes it brilliant, but I guess it could be a listicle so I vote this as the best listicle so far. Can we have a new feature Listicle with Commentary and let Pareene write them all?
But, I mean, have you seen the Donner cut of Superman II? There's this quote Lennon gave about Let It Be and how McCartney should just shut up with all his Spector-slagging because what Wild Phil did was take the piece of shit they gave him and polished it up real good like. (Or something, I am paraphrasing.) Superman II is EXACTLY LIKE THAT.
This was super fun to read, but must strongly object re: Spielberg pioneering of cartoon-irony. Surely that honor goes to the old WB Bugs Bunny cartoons, or at the very least to Jay Ward Studios (The Rocky and Bullwinkle Show, etc.)
Yeah, Eve's Beach Fantasy was a bit of a disappointment.
ZACK Zack? I LOVE MY YOUR CALENDAR!
Pareene, I'm trying to think. Is there anything you've written that I love more? I mean I love a LOT of what you write. But no! THIS. And not just because I don't disagree with any of your commentary. You're livin' right.
Is he.
Every time anyone brings up U2 I begin to foam at the mouth and spew about how Bono RUINED the Leonard Cohen movie. He ruined it for me and my snoring friend and Lou Reed who all paid to see it at Film Forum. (My snoring friend may have also ruined the movie a little bit for Lou Reed, judging by the death stare he turned around to give us).
Is there not a rule that no discussion of Leonard Cohen can occur in Balk's absence?
I was unaware! Pareene started it! Plus, it's more a discussion about Bono's abject failings than Leonard Cohen
SO TRUE: "They kinda jumped from "Simpsons Season 2 or 3″ to "Simpsons Season 11″ in the course of literally two seasons."
But the John Landis love is every kind of wrong!
"American Werewolf in London."
"American Werewolf" is a stone-cold classic. That movie holds up like nobody's business.
Also: "Trading Places". "Coming to America". The video for "Thriller." ... I'm sorry, let me rephrase that. John Landis directed the video for "Thriller". I know the phrase "lifetime pass" gets tossed around casually, but yeah -- lifetime pass for that one.
Except he used up his pass before with the 3 dead people.
My favorite John Landis story is when he shows up at Vic Morrow's funeral extremely uninvited and tells the mourners that, right before he died, Morrow had taken Landis aside and thanked him for the fabulous opportunity to be in his movie and do the best role of his career, etc.
I saw an SNL episode from 1982 once and it was worse than I'd imagined. It was the first season with Eddie Murphy, so he was underused, and everything else was just terrible. Who ever decided Joe Piscopo was funny?
PINGU.
YES.
To answer your question about Saturday Night Live, I say they were lean years with the exception of Eddie Murphy. He was HYSTERICAL. Bill Murray was funny, Piscapo had his moments. The rest of them were forgettable. This is yet, another confirmation that I am (relatively) old.
When I was younger and watched the reruns on Comedy Central I got a kick out of Tim Kazurinsky. Also, great title sequence.
Oh, man, no one ever thinks Batman Returns is the best Batman movie! Except for me! You are awesome, and you win at Batman movies. It's also, possibly, Michelle Pfeiffer's finest work. Fighting words, I know, but she gives a totally balls-out performance without getting hammy or brittle. I swear I don't just think that because of her costume, which, according to my other half, is very distracting.
Also, you've absolutely nailed the Brad Bird thing. He's a lesser Lasseter. Don't get me wrong, I love his work, and although it tends to veer into heavy-handed territory, it does earn its emotional conclusions.
Batman Returns is very good. It made Roger Ebert depressed to the point of anger, which has been a hallmark of accomplishment in cinema since A Clockwork Orange.
I think Pixar movies are basically shit. It's some kind of soccer mom thing to carry on about them. Wall-E was pathetic once they were on the spaceship.
I so cried during Batman Returns. Michelle Pfeiffer flipped that character on it's head. And she even had the grace to credit Tim Burton for making her bring it.
Batman Returns = !
Well, that was beyond insipid. It was like being trapped in the beer pong room with some bloviating, hungover fratdouche.
Insipid, eh?
Correct. Insipid, like the boring guy you're stuck sitting next to at a wedding, babbling about what he's been watching on TV.
Babbling, eh?
Correct again. You're on a roll.
I love you two. I am ROTFLING.
I didn't mind it once he dropped the Mickey Kaus exclamation points. I have thoughts! They are wacky!
This is rambling and insipid and hungover, yes, but fratdouche? That is unfair to fratdouches everywhere, who are all too busy getting wasted and having fun to care about Soderbergh's genre exercises.
"Having 2 much fun 2 care about Soderbergh’s genre exercises."
AUGH. Important statement! <3 <3
Oh dear! It appears you're confusing your Alexes, atwb. Balk is the bloviating, hungover fratdouche. Pareene is the more-ironic-than-you-can-ever-hope-to-be, skinny hipsterdouche with the weird hair.
My favorite State and Main quote:
"Who designed these costumes? It looks like Edith Head puked, and then that puke designed these costumes!"
Feed proves Pareene is not gay. The fetish is trumped by whatever makes it into Butt every month and ALEX O'LOUGHLIN IS NAKED. REPEAT: ...... So meh to fatty feeders but hell yeah to that incredible Australian prime beef. Also I enjoyed this post.
Regarding Muppets Take Manhattan, which is an Instant Watch classic: there's so much authentic NYC genius in this. For example:
1. When Kermit takes Liza Minelli's table at Sardi's. Fucking Sardi's! Which is where everyone who works in theater still goes "to lunch" (besides Cafe Edison) even though the food is absolute, complete shit. either they just want their faces painted on that wall or they're afraid to walk two blocks away. Also, when Rizzo gets uncovered: way ahead of its time. Sardi's prolly didn't have rats back then, but they sure as shit do now.
2. The speech that Pete gives to Kermit in the diner? Completely profound nonsense. Remember when people in New York used to say things like this? I don't, but I wish I did.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KQgfgB-vgT0&feature=player_embedded
Genius.
Oh, man. Follow That Bird. This was the first movie I ever saw in a theater, and had to be removed by my mother because of my uncontrollable screaming/crying. They kidnapped Big Bird, y'all - that's some scary shit for a 4 year old to deal with.
Kidnapped by the cast of SCTV! They are only a little bit scary!
I remember seeing Noises Off in the theater with my Mom and like 4 other people, and we were all laughing our asses off the entire time. Underrated, that flick!
The 4 other people of course being strangers that were the only other people in the entire theater.
Also, not letting that Van Dyke Parks trivia go unnoticed. That shit is c-c-c-crazy. Next time I listen to Smile, I'm going to imagine Muppets singing it. It will be a more enjoyable experience.
"Mistletoe can be deadly if you eat it."
M. Keaton = B. Murray of the 2010s?
Oooooh here's hoping!
We had the same experience with The Last Boy Scout. To the point we now refer to old movies as possibly having 'last boy scout syndrome' .
Ooh, Vantage Point. Talk about the worst security detail ever (except for Dennis Quaid, of course). Was a bomb exploding in the hotel lobby not warning enough about the danger the president was in?
To continue your streaming Mamet festival, I'd like to recommend Winslow Boy. Mamet, definitely Mamet. But also period, and refined.
it wasn't Neko Case re: High School Musical, btw! It was something way more partying than that.
This is good on the hole.
-
"Chevy Chase's jerk routine has aged much better than Ackroyd's nerd, though Ackroyd is inarguably a finer comedian, in terms of craft."
Yes, well framed! Did you see how much Ackroyd uncorked himself for Grosse Pointe Blank? He can go head-first off the diving board and yet keep the roller-coaster car on the tracks.
God, he was brilliant in that.
"Hey, hey, bing bing bing bing bang! POPCORN!"