"Santa Needs To Pay The Elves" by Alex Balk December 23, 2009 Americans as a whole may be too lazy to steal, but North Pole denizens are still on their game. Merry Christmas! facebook twitter google+ pinterest email The "quiet" one. Read more by Alex Balk on The Awl Courtney Barnett, "Pedestrian At Best"The Sporting Contest As Metaphor For Life: A Consideration In VerseWhy You're So Unhappy NowFinally, Your Philip Glass Ringtones Needs FulfilledYou Don't Even Suck Above Average Christmas Video The Concessionist Should I Be a Poorly Paid Writer or a Better-Paid Publicist? Culture (and TV) Courtney Barnett, "Pedestrian At Best" The Gibson Boy All the Exposed Men's Ankles in the February "GQ," in Order long conversations Inside the Mind of the Teen Male, Approximately country time The Man Who Won't Let Go 6:30 PM EST The Sporting Contest As Metaphor For Life: A Consideration In Verse The More You Know The Fusion Masthead SPONSORED POST Inspiring New Film Explores What It Takes 'To Be a Dad'