You can blame the surge of child molestation by Catholic priests on “the sexual revolution,” says Ross Douthat.

• “Brave New Boutique: Baby Sex Selection Sold On East Side,” July 24, 2006: “Given the aggressive fertility of New York’s breeding set, it was only a matter of time before the joys of elective sex-selection took root in the Land of Milk and Bugaboos, the epicenter of the Gen-X/Y baby boomlet, New York City.”

• “Genetic Engineering for the Preteen Set,” March 30, 2010: “Atlas, a Boulder, Colo., company that previously specialized in growth supplements, last year introduced a take-at-home test that detects the presence of a variant of the ACTN3 gene that blocks the expression of the alpha-actinin-e protein. This protein, expressed in both copies of the gene, one from each parent, is associated with fast-twitch muscle movements and is present in a high percentage of elite athletes…. What Atlas seems to be offering, in other words, is the possibility that you can ascertain the likelihood that the junior-with-the-good-jump-shot is 9 years old going on Lebron.”

“Of course they all go about with knives because it’s exciting. Horrifying! I think they’re bored stiff. Nobody’s said, ‘Hey boys, I want you lot in my ship now, we’re off to have a really immense adventure.’ In the old days, because of Empire, our young men were always going out to do something. And now they’re not. And now we’ve got those same boiling boys and we expect them to sit and watch X Factor! Are we mad?”
–Ab Fab star/Gurkha advocate Joanna Lumley explains how Knifecrime Island got that way.

by Simon Dumenco

• The Dow Jones Industrial Average inched up 11.56 points on Tuesday to close at 10,907.4, as the market looked with favor on the debut of the music video for Justin Bieber’s “Never Let You Go.” Wall Street’s morning apprehension about the lackluster dance sequence that begins at the 3:08 mark in the video (Take my hand / Let’s just dance / Watch my feet / Follow me) was overshadowed in the end by Bieber’s generally bullish outlook (Don’t be scared / Girl I’m here / If you didn’t know / This is love).

• The Nasdaq Composite advanced 6.33 points to close at 2410.69 because the “chatroulette for news” thingies that Guardian.co.uk software developer Daniel Vydra (left) has been making — including New York Times Roulette — are really awesome, and everybody’s still all excited about Chatroulette, especially the makers of Manroulette (NSFW?), so maybe there’s hope for newspapers to make money online after all, particularly if they dangle the promise of random ween sightings.

Simon Dumenco is The Awl’s Senior Wall Street Correspondent and Justin Bieber Bureau Chief.

Most every day, I could spend all my days reporting offensive comments on the New York Post website. This is, in a way, mildly amusing, because the Post likes to think of itself as the institution that represents New York’s moral rectitude. It’s the great finger-wagger. Yet its comment sections are among the most foul, revolting, repressive, juvenile and vulgar places on the whole Internet. That is really saying something! The only place worse on the Internet today is the comments sections of the fellow populist scold, the Daily News. Today brings news of the in-home murder of a 29-year-old transgender woman, who was also robbed. The comments include: “Guess she/he pick up the wrong man who did not appreciate her mail agenda after seeing her boobs.” [Sic?] That’s not very inventive but here’s a whole NEW kind of prejudice: “Whatever; he’s still a male and will always been known as a male. Probably his own kind that got rid of him. To much competition among themselves.” Huh. That is a new one! Also, why don’t their publishers care that they are littering the Internet with the moronic thoughts of hateful idiots?

by Ana Marie Cox And Jason Linkins

One man stalks our President. His name is Pete Souza. Day and night, he tries to shoot the President, through every opening available. That is what she said, and here are GQ’s Ana Marie Cox and the Huffington Post’s Eat the Press editor Jason Linkins to explain this man’s madness.

Yeah, what this image doesn’t capture is the moment DNC chair Tim Kaine tried to slip a twenty into Barack’s waistband.

As a condition of aid, any nation in need has to agree to send their First Ladies — that’s Elizabeth Preval of Haiti, above, and Ada Papandreou of Greece, below — to spend time in the Michelle Obama Kiss and Cry Room. (The degree to which each is turned to Michelle demonstrates their relative indebtedness.)

Yep. Someone let Obama wander too near the Lincoln portrait again!

Obama leaves his left-handed graffiti tag on some clean wall. So tough shit, gentrifiers.

Jeesh, what is with Rahm’s purple pullover? Is that a loaner from Axelrod?

Seriously, who else gets their picture taken, going over paperwork?

When the White House wants to get a counter-cultural figure that’s neither clean nor articulate, they get Bob Dylan.

Boehner and Obama discuss melanin.

BOEHNER: “Yeah, well it takes me this many trips to the tanning salon to achieve this rich, blood-orange color.”

Here’s how the Pete Souza “Hero, Pensively Framed” magic happens.

White House doctor Jeffrey Kuhlman, seen here tooling around in the “spare limousine,” obviously needs a lesson from Sebelius on how to keep from spreading his goddamn germs around.

This is what Tim Geithner looks like when he is flirting. Now you know how that works.

What? Peter Orszag wears cowboy boots? Did he lose a bet or something?

Obama’s personal aide is “Reggie Love.” He doesn’t just SOUND like a hot athletic star, he IS a hot athletic star. Joe Biden’s personal aide, seen above, is “Fran Person” — if that is in fact his real name. But, uh, either way: suits him.

Meet Erskine Bowles and Alan K. Simpson, your National Commission on Fiscal Responsibility and Reform co-chairs. Hey, if those foreheads can’t solve the financial crisis, whose forehead can?

Barack Obama meets with Leo McGarry.

Obama looks at pictures of people who have gotten high more than he has.

White House staffers pass the time on Air Force One playing Celebrity Password.

HARRY REID: “Yep, we’re gonna pass health care reform by about THIS much.”

Oh, America. Your second black president is still pretty white.

Uhm. Wow. Your move, Carla Bruni.

Hey, now. Did the WHITE presidents have to wait in the “butlers’ pantry”?

Obama and Biden have the first of what will be several conversations about implementing a “swear jar.”

See that reflection? Yeah, I think we’re now entering a whole new phase of Pete Souza visual crutches.

Pete Souza gets a bonus for each revered historical figure he can put in the same frame as Obama. This image is called “Yahtzee.”

NSC Senior Director for Russian Affairs Mike McFaul struggles to break Obama out of his “listening trance.”

The rest of the WH staff leaves Joe Biden hanging. As usual.

Barack Obama would later issue an executive order overruling Sasha’s charging call.

Biden finally gets the President “up high.” Next time, “down low,” Joe. Next time.

“I just had to call you ‘cuz I’m calling FROM THE CAR… yeah, FROM THE CAR. THE CAR, man….Wow. I’m gonna have something from the mini bar next.”

Fun fact: Pete Souza’s been passing off this shot of White House officials reacting to the Michigan State-Maryland game as a celebration of health care reform’s passage.

And what a valuable contribution to the history of health care reform THIS is! Unless he extended his middle finger toward Mitch McConnell at some point, we don’t care.

And now, a Child’s Garden Of Obama Working the Phones, For Health Care Reform.

Obama checks his Blackberry, for news of the whip count.

Obama on the phone…. from a distance!

Obama on the phone… and pissed!

Brief break to shoot some H-O-R-S-E, with Michael Strautmanis, chief of staff for the Office of Public Engagement and Intergovernmental Affairs (fancy title for “Guy Who Shoots H-O-R-S-E with the president when he’s feeling stressed).

Then it’s back to some health care reform sexting, with Louise Slaughter.

They want threats of violence? I’ll give them threats of violence!

I think these people are literally in line to get hugs.

Then there’s the VIP line, to get hugs.

Ana Marie: I just think it’s funny how fake this looks.
Jason: You’re going to give Orly Taitz ideas.

Terrorist fist bump alert!

Apparently Afghanistan is so lawless, they even need crossing guards.

Seriously, Mr. President, you should try this falafel.

“There is a little bit of elitist-versus-populist tensions. There are meteorologists who feel, ‘Just because I have a bachelor’s degree doesn’t mean I don’t know what’s going on.’”
-Science writer Bob Henson suggests one of the reasons meteorologists, who wear make-up and say wacky things about the weather, are more prone to dismiss global warming than climatologists, who are actually scientists.

“It was an unlikely place for a media frenzy: inside the non-descript conference rooms of a building in central Berlin. But this weekend, members of the local and international press corps jostled and elbowed to get closer to the star of this particular show. Film crews fought for the best vantage point, photographers held their cameras aloft to get the best shots and reporters scribbled furiously in their notebooks. The big — and slightly unlikely — deal? The world’s first döner-kebab robot.”

It works! And no black holes yet! So awesome.

Remember when M. Night Shyamalan was all washed up and “difficult” to work with and everyone was laughing at him and he was donezo with the studio system? Well July 4th weekend is his big revenge! When “The Last Airbender” finally hits. This new trailer really… uh… wow. Yeesh. Boy does that ever not look good-even with “the fart jokes” cut out. (Heh.)

“Hailed as the ‘Brilliant Baroness of the Bears’ in America, every night she faced six male and four female bears, some of them 12ft tall. Although polar bears are regarded by performers as highly dangerous, Ursula Bottcher said: ‘I am not afraid of them. I’ve been working with polar bears since 1964, and understand just how they think.’ Her partner in the act, Manfred Horn, was killed by a bear in 1990. She also worked with lions, pumas and leopards, and married an elephant trainer who later trained bears.” Bottcher died earlier this month.