Posts tagged as The Moon
Frenchman Disappointed By Moon
"I think our generation is obsessed with the moon. When we were children, we were told that in the year 2000 we’d be in spaceships and living on the moon. Nothing like that happened. We felt betrayed. Now people stay home in front of the screen. But when we were kids we were supposed to be out of our home, out in space. So I feel like when I make records, I keep the dream alive." READ MORE
Moon Ugly
Click here if you want to see a photo of an ugly, useless bunch of rock that loiters about our orbit hoping to be noticed even though it DESERVES NOTHING BUT SCORN. And here it is trying to look deep and soulful. IT'S NOT WORKING, you pretentious piece of junk.
Misguided Science Types Somehow Convinced Moon Worth Preserving
Oh, by all means, let's try and preserve all the VALUABLE HISTORY on the moon. It's SO IMPORTANT that all the footprints and garbage we left up there on previous visits remain intact. Lord knows the moon can't do anything for itself, because it's so USELESS. Ugh, stupid moon! Don't you know it's not going to make a difference once we finally come to our senses and blow you into little tiny chunks of utter worthlessness?
Moon Useless
Hahahaha, suck it, moon! Even your supposedly unique minerals can be found right here on earth! What are you good for, moon? Apart from mockery, NOTHING!
Stupid Moon Might Actually Be Two Stupid Moons
Look, we are at this point HOURS AWAY from the winter break. Please do not make me consider the possibility that Earth has two moons. I mean, it actually makes sense, in that the one moon we see all the time is A USELESS PIECE OF GARBAGE THAT CLEARLY CANNOT PULL ITS WEIGHT, but really, I'm SO TIRED RIGHT NOW. I just... can't.
A Survey Of Moon Maps Since the 17th Century
How do you map something 238,856 miles away? You can’t just send out a team of surveyors. At least, you couldn’t until relatively recently. Before then, lunar cartographers (technically, selenographers) could only rely on telescopes and their own artistic ability to draw a detailed portrait of the lunar face. They managed some pretty dazzling results. READ MORE
Heartless Moon Just Messing Around With People Now
"Hertfordshire Police have released the audio of a male 999 caller reporting a bright UFO 'coming towards him' in his back garden, only to ring back minutes later to declare that its presence was in fact entirely explainable.... When asked by the call handler what he had seen, the man replied sheepishly: 'You're not going to believe this, you're not going to believe it, it's the moon.'"
Very Rich Person Also Wants To Annihilate The Moon
Will billionaire Naveen Jain be the person to finally make my dream of destroying the moon come true? One can only hope.
It's Time To Mine The Moon
Now I know some of you are not on board with my crusade against the moon. "I like the moon," you say. "It's pretty," you protest. "What about the tides," you implore. Well, screw the tides and screw the moon, because we have just learned something very important that will change your view of that useless satellite orbiting roughly 221,463 miles from the infinitely superior Earth. It seems the moon has been holding out on us. That's right, the moon is loaded with precious, precious titanium ore. READ MORE
Credulous Observers Give The Moon What It Wants
So, despite our advice, you just couldn't help yourself. You HAD TO PAY ATTENTION TO THE MOON THIS WEEKEND, didn't you? Even NASA got in on the act. I am sorely disappointed with all of you, but particularly NY1 mainstay Pat Kiernan, who put aside his initial skepticism and helped validate the satellite's attention-seeking ways. Bad show, everyone.
