Der Speigel Overlooks Bimbo Fellating Berlusconi In Giant Spanish Sculpture @9:23 AM
At midnight tonight, in the city of Valencia on the Mediterranean coast of Spain, the annual Las Fallas festival comes to an end with the burning of the giant sculptures that have been on display in various city squares for the past five days. Made of wood, cardboard and paper mache, and often made to satirize current events, the sculptures (called "ninots," Spanish for "dolls") are up to 72-feet tall and cost as much as $850,000 to build. "Las Fallas" means "the fires," and the festival is believed to have pagan origins, celebrating the end of winter, but the million people it draws come in homage to Joseph, the patron saint of carpenters. Germany's Der Speigel has a great photo gallery of some of the sculptures. But in the picture above, they've misidentified the number of women depicted frolicking in a hot tub with Italy's prime minister Silvio Berlusconi. "This sculpture shows him in a hot tub with two lady friends," says the caption. Nope, there are three. 6
Silvio Berlusconi Under Investigation (Yes, This Is A New Post) @3:45 PM
Silvio Belusconi has been placed under investigation after wiretaps revealed an apparent attempt to influence Italy's main broadcast network against airing programs unfavorable to the prime minister. READ MORE 3
Silvio Berlusconi Knows How To Give A Gift @3:45 PM
What do you get the man who has been married six times and has fathered at least 20 children? Well, if you're Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi, and your recipient is South African President Jacob Zuma, you get him pajamas and bedsheets. Because you just don't give a fuck, and you probably think it's pretty funny. 6
"I can understand why you are so angry, because every morning when you go and look at yourself in the mirror and you see yourself, you have already ruined your day."
—Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi responds to a reporter who interrupted his press conference with a question about corruption. When the reporter refused to be silent, Defence Minister Ignazio La Russo stepped down from the podium and physically subdued the man, grabbing him by the coat and shouting, "Behave, you lout!" @1:55 PM 8
"Italy's highest court on Thursday threw out the long-running corruption trial of David Mills, a former lawyer of Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi, in a move that casts doubt over whether a related corruption trial facing the Italian leader will reach a conclusion…. In its ruling, which is final and can't be appealed, the high court said Mr. Mills had received [a $600,000 payment to lie for Berlusconi during a couple of earlier trials]. However, the judges found that lower courts—which had originally convicted Mr. Mills—had improperly interpreted the statute of limitations in the case. Therefore, they threw the case out." Berlusconi's lawyer, Niccolo Ghedini, will ask the court to suspend Berlusconi's own trial in the matter. Italians are the world champions at running out the clock. @11:50 AM 2
Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi bought a "priceless" antique bed once owned by Napoleon Bonaparte and then requested it be enlarged, presumably to prove that he is beyond parody. @10:50 AM 7
Nicole Minetti, the dental hygienist who helped treat Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi after he was smacked in the face with a souvenir statuette late last year, has been selected to join a list of candidates contesting regional elections for Berlusconi's ruling party at the end of March. Unsurprisingly, she is not unattractive. @2:05 PM 2
Silvio Berlusconi Still Saying Things @2:40 PM
So what's been happening with Silvio Berlusconi lately? Well, Guido Bertolaso, one of his most trusted aides, was forced to resign after it was revealed that he was "under investigation as part of a huge probe into corrupt contracts, sex parties and kickbacks surrounding the construction of a €327m (£287m) complex in Sardinia." His ruling party is facing controversy over a decision that "forced through rules that mean the state broadcaster's most popular talk shows will have to scrap their political content – or face a transfer from mid-evening to graveyard shifts" in advance of regional elections. And the premier himself is under fire for remarking, during a press conference with Albanian Prime Minister Sali Berisha on the subject of immigrants from that country to Italy, "We will only accept pretty girls from Albania." So, basically, same old same old. 7
McItaly Burger Symbolizes Everything Wrong With Italy, Burgers @9:20 AM
This might be overstating the case just a bit, but there's certainly something to it: "If ever there was a sign of the moral bankruptcy of Silvio Berlusconi's government, it is the sight of a McDonald's apron wrapped around the svelte frame of the Minister of Agriculture, Luca Zaia as he helped launch the new McItaly range of burgers. The President of the Council cavorting with young women, the allegations of shady connections, slippery financial arrangements, dubious political allegiances, and all-round dodgy dealings are as nothing when compared to this monstrous act of national betrayal." In other Silvio Berlusconi news: "A spokesman for the Prime Minister refused to comment on the mystery surrounding his hairline." Ah, Italia! 9
The Italian Senate has passed a bill that will dramatically curtail the length of trials in that country. The bill is retroactive, so it will have the COMPLETELY COINCIDENTAL effect of ending two major fraud and corruption cases against Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi. The bill now moves to the Chamber of Deputies, where it is expected to pass easily. E finito! 5
Silvio's Back, Baby! @2:00 PM
You cannot keep a good man down: A recuperating Silvio Berlusconi spent part of the holiday season by toasting the birthday of one of his hottie blonde parliamentarians. "Michaela Biancofiore called charmer Berlusconi, 73, to wish him well and when she reminded him it was her 40th birthday he then decided to invite her to his luxury villa to celebrate. Knowing his love of practical jokes Ms Biancafiore had a special cake made with the icing on the cake recreating a famous picture of the two taken in 2005 when he raised his middle finger during a rowdy election rally." I can't wait to see what else he's got in store for us this year. 4
Turns out that getting smacked in the face with a souvenir statuette was probably the best thing to happen to Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi in a rather difficult year: He's back over 50% in popularity polls, and his allies are hoping to use the sympathy he's engendered to pass legislation that will once again make him virtually immune from prosecution. You can almost understand why the conspiracy theorists are coming out in force. 6
""How can they say such things? Me, instigate violence?"
—A baffled Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi, responding to suggestions that "he had himself created the current climate with his often violent attacks on judges and journalists who he claims are mounting a conspiracy to oust him by exposing corruption allegations and scandals in his sex life." Berlusconi, who was smacked in the face with a souvenir statuette on Sunday, left the hospital this morning. @9:30 AM 2
Maybe Italy Should Worry Less About Facebook And More About Actual Faces @9:50 AM
In another example of the sterling work done by the Italian security services, a "young Italian with a history of mental problems has been arrested after he tried to enter the hospital room of Silvio Berlusconi during the night." (This is a different Italian with mental problems from the one who smashed Berlusconi in the face with a souvenir statuette on Sunday.) Meanwhile, amid threats by the Italian government to crack down on anti-Berlusconi pages on various social networking sites, Facebook has announced that it would carefully monitor its pages and "take quick action to respond to reports, and remove any content reported to us that makes direct threats against an individual." 6
Sympathy For The Cavaliere @9:10 AM
Getting smacked in the face with a souvenir statuette may have been the best thing that could have happened to Silvio Berlusconi. The Italian Prime Minister, due to be released from the hospital tomorrow, is the beneficiary of a wave of sympathy that has changed the conversation in his country. READ MORE 5
After being assaulted this weekend by a mentally disturbed man who struck him with a statuette of Milan's cathedral, Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi will remain in the hospital until at least Tuesday. The attack on Berlusconi resulted in a fractured nose, two broken teeth, and the complete overshadowing of this amazing story about how the premier "shocked leaders at an EU summit on Friday by sending them doodles showing women's underwear through the ages." 13
How Has Silvio Berlusconi Not Been Punched in the Face Until Now? @2:40 PM
Whoever could have punched Italian prime minister Silvio Berlusconi in the face today, and why? Answer: almost anyone, for thousands of reasons. And how was the rest of today's rally, Mr. Berlusconi? "The hecklers called Berlusconi a 'clown' while he cried 'shame on you' back at them and the sound system was turned up to drown them out." Good stuff.
40
Maybe Italians are being depicted accurately in the media: Highly opinionated opera director Franco Zeffirelli held a press conference in Rome yesterday concerning his company's new season. A reporter had the temerity to mention some of the many allegations about Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi, to which Zeffirelli responded, "You are insulting a friend a mine, a man of valor," adding "This is a serious theater. Go away, you cretin rascal [mascalzona cretina], you asshole [stronza], go fuck off [vada a fare in culo]. You don't belong here, how dare you! Berlusconi is a friend of mine, an extraordinary man." Also, curse words sound much better in Italian, no? @12:55 PM 8
Thousands of demonstrators will gather in Rome tomorrow for "No Berlusconi Day," where they will demand that the Italian Prime Minister resign his office. That probably won't do anything to get rid of him, but maybe the rumored mob ties, the two corruption trials, and the sudden financial worries he is experiencing will prove more effective. 1
Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi will once again be unable to attend one of his corruption trials because of pressing state business—this time he's cutting the ribbon at the opening of a new stretch of highway. @11:40 AM 1
Congratulations to Silvio Berlusconi, who has been selected by the editors of Italian Rolling Stone as "rock star of the year" for being the person who best "distinguishes himself during the year for his decidedly rock and roll personality and lifestyle." And congratulations to the editors of Italian Rolling Stone, who know a great gimmick when they see one. Everybody wins! 7
"The Prime Minister needs cuddles. I have seen a few things in my time but not this, twenty women for one man. At orgies there are more or less the same number of men and women, but here there was only one man with copulation rights – the Prime Minister."
—Patrizia D'Addario, the prostitute at the center of Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi's prostitute-fucking scandal, recounts the party at which she met the man. The Times has excerpts from her new memoir, Gradisca, Presidente (Take Your Pleasure, Prime Minister), including the part where "I got up and went to the bathroom, partly to have a pee and partly to change the cassette in my recorder." 5
Here's a pretty good primer on Silvio Berlusconi and the world he created: "The velina has become more than a mainstay of Italian television; she is the rock on which Berlusconi built his political career. In the 15 years since he began dominating Italian politics, Berlusconi has created a seamless weave of entertainment and power. The Taliban may use the virtue of their country's women as a rallying cry; Berlusconi has used Italian women's beauty. Americans should invest in Italy, he once told a Wall Street audience, because it had the comeliest secretaries." @3:10 PM 1
Judges have agreed to delay Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi's tax fraud trial—due to start today—until January 16th, because of "pressing state business" which would prevent the premier from attending the case in person: He's busy welcoming attendees to the UN's Food and Agricultural World Food Summit. @11:40 AM 0
Has Silvio Berlusconi seen the error of his ways? "The era of fast-tracked careers for pretty faces in Prime Minister's Silvio Berlusconi's TV empire, which led to rumours of a casting couch, could be at an end. Young starlets wanting jobs on the Premier's Mediaset programmes must demonstrate appropriate professional skills and training, according to a stern memo from Berlusconi's son Piersilvio, Mediaset's vice-president." Those professional skills include "jiggling" and "keeping that culo toned," but hey, it's a start. @4:15 PM 5
The Italian Left Gets In On Sex Scandal Action @3:10 PM
Italy's opposition Democratic party has elected Pierluigi Bersani as its new leader and opposite number against scandal-plagued premier Silvio Berlusconi. Because Italy's left is never happier than when it's fucking things up, the move coincides with the emergence of a sex scandal of one of its more prominent members, Piero Marrazzo, who runs the region surrounding Rome. It involves transsexual prostitutes! READ MORE 6
Silvio Berlusconi Disapproves Of Your Socks @10:20 AM
Never underestimate Silvio Berlusconi! Just when you think, okay, this is about as outrageous as he can get, he'll never top this, the man rises to a whole new level. Take the story of Raimondo Mesiano, the magistrate who fined Berlusconi's holding company 750 million euros in a bribery case: "Within days" of the ruling, "the prime minister's flagship Canale 5 channel began secretly filming the magistrate in the streets of Milan as he went about his business." And then they aired it. READ MORE 7
Berlusconi: What Now? @11:42 AM
"Silvio Berlusconi still has cards to play. He has the option of calling a snap election (which on current polling evidence he would certainly win). He has already spent millions on lawyers to keep him from prosecution, and it will not be easy to bring him to court. Yet after many crises and scandals – and it is certain that Berlusconi will not go quietly – this does now look like his last battle."
Here's a very good essay on the state of politics in Italy right now. Despite the line quoted here, it is not at all optimistic. 5
Funny Berlusconi Slip Another Punchline To Italian Joke @12:00 PM
Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi got a big laugh the other day when, discussing his many trials, he noted that, "In absolute terms, I am the most legally persecuted man of all times, in the whole history of mankind, worldwide, because I have been subjected to more than 2,500 court hearings and I have the good luck – having worked well in the past and having accumulated an important wealth – to have been able to spend more than €200m in consultants and judges … I mean in consultants and lawyers." READ MORE 4
Berlusconi Immunity Law Overturned @1:17 PM
Bad news for Silvio: "Italy's highest court has overturned a law granting Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi immunity from prosecution while in office. The Constitutional Court annulled the law, which had let him withdraw from several cases. In one he was facing corruption charges." A Berlusconi spokesman says that the Prime Minister has no intention of resigning because of the ruling, which makes sense, because how else is he going to ram through another law that tries to do the same thing? Anyway, stuff's about to get interesting! Finally! More details here. 4
