Posts Tagged: Oy

Put Your Phone Down

As a people we have lost the plot. Because we can document everything, we will, and we can't stop. Every event is now a sea of people with their arms held up in a triangle, forming an illuminati symbol with our phones at the apex. We've gone too far. It has to stop. Like a Beyoncé concert, the New York City fireworks were a nightmare of phones, and for what? For nothing. Data for your cloud. You can fully understand why performers—and brides and grooms!—want to ban all cellphones at events.

Take a picture of a flower, a baby, a cat, a sidewalk, an airplane, a painting, please. [...]


Old Pig Demands $2.15 Million From Our Library For His Dusty Papers

Great news! Tom Wolfe's papers will be available to researchers at the New York Public Library. 100 linear feet of terrific history, of great use to scholars and students alike. Hooray! The price tag? North of $2 million dollars, paid by private donor, and accruing to Mr. Wolfe, who is now 83 and also quite wealthy. So first, to be polite: thank you for making this happen. And now. So many questions: Why not take the tax donation? Why send out our troubled libraries to secure seven figures for what should be a gracious gift? Also: Just, why?

The New York Public Library's wonderful Stephen A. Schwarzman building is [...]


"Homeland": And Then They All Died, Except Chris Brody, The End

Is "Homeland" "Buffy"? Spoilers and theories.


Mike Bloomberg Doesn't Care How Banks Treat Poor People

"We're not going to back away from tactics that work," says @MikeBloomberg on stop&frisk.

— Mike Grynbaum (@grynbaum) May 18, 2012

It's your Friday morning fun time with Mayor Mike on the radio, and he's serving it up hot as usual today. And he's not doing any favors for the presumable next mayor, Chris Quinn, who wants to know about how banks treat poor neighborhoods before the City keeps its money there.

Harsh words from @MikeBloomberg on Quinn's banking bill: "city going into regulatory business of banking sets probably a new low for idiocy"

— Mike Grynbaum (@grynbaum) May 18, 2012


Naming Things Sucks

Surprising news! "HuffPost Parents," formerly known as "ParentLode," after the Times' blog MotherLode, which disapproved far beyond the point of cease and desist, will now be known as… Parentry. (It could have been worse.)

Please make a note of it.


The Anti-Occupy Wall Street "Protest" Begins

“They are not against the banks; they’re against society,” said John Costalas, manager of Essex World Café, located about a block from the park, on Liberty Street. “Who gives them the right to come and use my toilet for half an hour?”

Um, nobody! Lock your bathroom, fool! You're a private business, this is the United States of Amerikkka, put your bathroom key behind the register and grow a pair! Also maybe work on your terrible Yelp reviews, eh?


Martha's Vineyard: Trailer Trash Since 1642

"1921 Upon learning that President Calvin Coolidge had been out of Washington on vacation in Marion, Ohio, for a week, Dorothy Parker's less clever sister is reported to have remarked, 'How could they tell?'" —Since everyone is FREAKING OUT about Barack Obama going to Martha's Vineyard on vacation, here is a brief history of Presidential vacations. The best is that everyone's all upset about how ELITIST his vacation choices are. The dude grew up in HAWAII. And also, it's not like he owns a 1500-acre ranch in Texas? Also am I going to be the one to point out that Martha's Vineyard, much like Cape Cod, is pretty much [...]


The Great Crypto Stagecoach Robbery

Anyone holding Bitcoins—or pretty much any cryptocurrency, really—has taken a substantial hit in the last few months, with the exchange rate of dollars to Bitcoins dropping from a high of around $1200 last November to around $550 today. But it's possible that those whose Bitcoins were parked at the long-troubled Mt. Gox exchange have suffered a near-wipeout, or even a total one, in what may have been the catastrophic theft of some 744,000 Bitcoin from that exchange.

Mt. Gox was the first big Bitcoin exchange; as such it attracted the most attention, the most traffic, and the most trouble. It was hacked repeatedly because, at one time, it was [...]


The Programmer's Lament: It Could Totally Be Worse!

You think Healthcare Dot Gov is a national disaster? Well let's not forget this:

In June, 2001, the F.B.I. awarded the contractor Science Applications International Corp. (S.A.I.C.) a fourteen-million-dollar contract to upgrade the F.B.I.’s computer systems. The project was called Virtual Case File, or V.C.F., and it would ultimately cost over six hundred million dollars before finally being abandoned, in early 2005, unfinished and never deployed. V.C.F. was then replaced with a project called Sentinel, expected to launch in 2009, which was “designed to be everything V.C.F. was not, with specific requirements, regular milestones and aggressive oversight,” according to F.B.I. officials who spoke to the Washington Post in 2006. [...]


Tiny Fingers Make Fast, Delightful Work

This wonderful new browser plug-in will inform you how many tiny fingers made that garment or handbag you are searching for online. I find this highly useful. The number of child laborers is sort of equivalent to thread count for sheets. The more tiny fingers worked upon it, the more valuable it must be. I think that's their point at least. (via)


"Medical machine containing flesh-eating bacteria stolen from Orlando lab"

Don't worry about this for a single moment.


Early Oscar Season Smells Like Barf

What are you going to see at the movies this weekend (if you're not being held all weekend by the LAPD for exercising your First Amendment rights): the one with the dude with the giant schlong or the movie about the girl who gets paid to be unconscious while old dudes fondle her? USA! USA! Or have you seen Melancholia yet? Apart from the first five minutes, which are A+, and maybe the next 45, which are sinisterly hilarious, it's pretty much like these nine things, which include but are not limited to "overdosing on cement mix and diet tonic water" and "listening to a radio play [...]


Fees, Fees, Fees, Yeah

"The interchange fees that banks now charge stores for debit transactions are economically and functionally identical to the check interchange fees prohibited by the Fed almost a century ago." —Retail banking is a business almost entirely built on fees—and business is real good I mean, reallll good. Even the class action settlements don't offset the profit.


A Survey of What Real Americans Think About a Government Shutdown

The airwaves have been flooded with pundits talking about all the ramifications, fallouts and consequences of a government shutdown. Is Michele Bachmann's posturing mostly in support of her 2012 ambitions? Are the Democrats using the threat of a shutdown as a fund-raising device? Is it true that Congress will hire scabs to keep the seats filled during negotiations? Yes. Yes. Sure! And yes, Christine O'Donnell is available!

But what do real people think will happen? Below, a tapestry of Twitter pundrity that sums up, as well as anyone really, what America faces should the government shut down.


City's Tabloids: More Like Mayor de Murderio!

CBS and the New York Post have had it with Bill de Blasio, who made it snow endlessly on our city and then had his wee caravan roll on through some stop signs in Queens. They also did some speeding. (The Daily News wood is hilarious.) No one has ever disobeyed the speed limit in Queens. New York's worst monster! The Post has this to add: "The mayor — who vowed a transparent administration — routinely holds secret meetings and keeps events hidden from his public schedule." Like he had a secret cocktail with Obama's keymaster Valerie Jarrett! This city is a monstrosity. Everything is in ruins. [...]


Interns: Definitely Just Be Yourself In The Office, Including "Edgy" And/Or "Nude"

Hey, young ladies! Do you regularly exhibit your nipples and/or pudenda on the streets? Young millennial fellas: are you a balls-out kinda guy in general? Good news! While some uptight fools will tell you not to dress like a slanch for your internship, we believe you are more likely to Find Your Unique Path and also to Make It In New York City in general if you just "be yourself." An office is an extension of your lifestyle, after all, and if your lifestyle is nipple-centric or "neo-burlesque" or "embodying James Deen gifs," that is fine, and don't let anyone tell you different. You're only young and pretty once!


"A Florida woman who was apparently tired of her dirty couch reeking of urine…."

"A Florida woman who was apparently tired of her dirty couch reeking of urine, took it outside and set it afire—and burned down her apartment in the process after the flames spread." —"She also was charged with domestic battery."


Obama Still Hates Gay Marriage, No Matter What You Want to Think

Some people are confused!

• "Why doesn't Barack Obama just come out in support of gay marriage?" asks the Guardian. Uh, because he doesn't believe in it?

• "'The gay community was fully happy in their belief that he ‘wink, wink’ supported it,' a top Democratic communications strategist said," says Politico. Then they are fools?

• "Obama, who supports most gay rights, has stopped short of backing gay marriage. Without clarification, he's said for the past year and a half that his personal views on the matter are 'evolving,'" says AP.

Okay, all of this is totally weird election-year baloney. Whatever gays have talked themselves into [...]


How to Steal Money from Manhattan, with Columbia's Pro-Biz Think Tank

The Center for Urban Real Estate of the Columbia’s Graduate School of Architecture, Planning and Preservation sounds like such a refined academic institution! But apparently it's pretty much the Heritage Foundation of land use. The direct of the "Center" (funded in part by your developing friends at the Durst Organization!) is a former executive vice president at your friendly local developer the Related Companies, where he still consults. (Just to pick one: guess who's responsible for the disgusting Gwathmey building on Astor Place? Yes.) And so this oh-so-objective piece in the Times on the Center and, I paraphrase, "wouldn't it be hilarious if they connected Governors Island to [...]


Even Goldman Sachs Thinks John McCain's "Repatriation Tax Holiday" is a Joke

What's John McCain's plan for the economy? Why, another "repatriation tax holiday," wherein companies bring money onto virtual "U.S. soil" at a reduced rate. He's going to "unveil" it today. (Bloomberg says: "Independent studies showed that when a tax holiday was last offered, in 2004, the lower tax rate for returning profits spurred little hiring or domestic investment. Most of the money was used to buy back stock.") The McCain reasoning is: "more capital in America = better for economy." Who benefits? "The proposed holiday would reward the companies that have most aggressively parked profits in tax havens such as Bermuda, the Cayman Islands and Switzerland," is what [...]