Oh God so glad someone wrote the "who is that suck-up kiddo on "Mad Men" story. I personally think he's just a douchey climber, but really it's just as likely that he's a time-traveling COINTELPRO smoke monster.

• November 19, 2012: "New Yorkers once carried mace; now we sit at home in cardigans and pickle cabbage. Angry young men while away quiet hours playing Angry Birds."

• December 21, 2009: "In this new world of nice netiquette, technology is designed to make it easier for everyone to love one another. After all, if you're not your 'real self' online, how will Leighton Meester know it's you who loved her dress at the Teen Choice Awards?"

• February 24, 2010: "It’s not just Internet logrollers riding the wave of positivity. Conan O’Brien signed off from NBC saying, 'Please don’t be cynical. I hate cynicism—it’s my [...]

"I think it’s essential to have similarities. When this whole life is done, and it’s just the two of us sitting somewhere when we’re 80, you want to have things to talk about that you have in common. I think that’s something maybe I didn’t value as highly as a quality I cared about in someone." —Some relationship advice from Kanye's life partner.

"Digital First Media announced today that it is creating a national curation team as part of its centralized news operation. That operation, called Thunderdome, will be produced by Digital First’s MediaNews Group and Journal Register Company…. 'Providing context to everything we curate is vital to providing a comprehensive news report,' said digital projects editor Mandy Jenkins…. 'Successful curation… will entice many people to click through and read or watch more,' wrote Steve Buttry in a blog post. Buttry is the director of community engagement & social media at Digital First, and he pointed out some useful guidelines and tips for curators in the post. 'Effective curation boosts the experience [...]

So yeah, this really happened that the guys who run the Texts from Hillary Tumblr were called to a meeting with Hillary Clinton. Where there were posed hilarious photos! Very interesting in an election year.

"If you’re taking a special cake knife to cut the cake, please ship it or put it in your checked bag. Wired bouquets are allowed through the checkpoint, along with rice, birdseed, sand and candy coated almonds." —Enjoy your last pat-down as a single lady!

Great ice cream, bad girls [VID]

— Fake BuzzFeed (@FakeBuzzFeed) February 22, 2012

Well, this is happening, and by "this," I mean a Twitter account that consists of running the headlines of a Buzzfeed rip-off website called Pineza.gr through Google Translate. And why not? What does YOUR stupid Twitter feed do for you?

In this one, the first 40 minutes are just the ladies on a rooftop in Williamsburg, throwing rotten vegetables at the 20-somethings below. Then Miranda does a $12-million Kickstarter to fund her new boutique law firm. Charlotte fires her household staff. Samantha has sex with some men. Carrie, now single, writes a column for XO Jane and, whilst picking up her $45 check in the office, meets Lena Dunham and then goes home and hangs herself. Sounds good, can't wait!

"Available in Ziricote, Macassar ebony, Ceylon satinwood, Amboyna burl, Olive ash burl, Macassar ebony with diamond pattern inlays, hand laid eggshell, goatskin, and stingray skin." (More LOLs here and here.)

When you are launching some weird new Tumblr about mind-melting gifs, definitely you should always hire the Taiwanese animators at Next Media to make a bizarre preview video for you. No, what is Reblorg really? It's for fun things you've made: "Our submission rules are simple: you must have made it, and it must be new."

"I went to the refreshment table to get something to drink and a cookie or two and all of a sudden one of the members yelled 'Look out!' Something large and black came by side [sic] and scratched against my leg," said Bob Hurst, of the Sons of Confederate Veterans.

—Do we need to talk further about not ever going to Florida?

"I worry that the assumption that people are clamoring for long form writing is incorrect. The main mission of most web browsing sessions—to dick around on the Internet—points directly to the value of brevity. To say people are looking for the gravitas in their writing through length is akin to telling a Shakira fan they’ll really like Joanna Newsom—after all, Newsom is just a female singer who sings longer. Like Shakira but inherently 'better.'" —Did you know that Matter, which wants to publish a piece of writing once a week, got $140,201 pledged on Kickstarter? They have already planned a "Best of Matter" print anthology! It's so magical. [...]