Posts Tagged: IDK
6

Prudish Child Files Suit

"The elderly residents of a Long Island nursing home saw their shuffleboards replaced by washboard abs when they were subjected a low-rent Chippendale’s striptease in the facility’s rec room, a new lawsuit claims.

The son of one resident — 85-year-old Bernice Youngblood — was shocked when he showed up for a visit and found a picture of his mom stuffing dollar bills — which are supposed to be locked away in her commissary account — into a dancer’s briefs."

She can't do what she wants with her singles? Come on now.

5

Is Tweeting During Awards Shows Good For America?

Possibly not.

5

Or Maybe Bob Benson Is Lloyd… Bentsen, You Ever Think Of That, Nerds?

Oh God so glad someone wrote the "who is that suck-up kiddo on "Mad Men" story. I personally think he's just a douchey climber, but really it's just as likely that he's a time-traveling COINTELPRO smoke monster.

35

Your Life Sucks: A Recent History of "The New Niceness"

• November 19, 2012: "New Yorkers once carried mace; now we sit at home in cardigans and pickle cabbage. Angry young men while away quiet hours playing Angry Birds."

• December 21, 2009: "In this new world of nice netiquette, technology is designed to make it easier for everyone to love one another. After all, if you're not your 'real self' online, how will Leighton Meester know it's you who loved her dress at the Teen Choice Awards?"

• February 24, 2010: "It’s not just Internet logrollers riding the wave of positivity. Conan O’Brien signed off from NBC saying, 'Please don’t be cynical. I hate cynicism—it’s my [...]

12

Kim Kardashian Meditates On Death

"I think it’s essential to have similarities. When this whole life is done, and it’s just the two of us sitting somewhere when we’re 80, you want to have things to talk about that you have in common. I think that’s something maybe I didn’t value as highly as a quality I cared about in someone." —Some relationship advice from Kanye's life partner.

10

"Thunderdome" Unveils "National Curation Team"

"Digital First Media announced today that it is creating a national curation team as part of its centralized news operation. That operation, called Thunderdome, will be produced by Digital First’s MediaNews Group and Journal Register Company…. 'Providing context to everything we curate is vital to providing a comprehensive news report,' said digital projects editor Mandy Jenkins…. 'Successful curation… will entice many people to click through and read or watch more,' wrote Steve Buttry in a blog post. Buttry is the director of community engagement & social media at Digital First, and he pointed out some useful guidelines and tips for curators in the post. 'Effective curation boosts the experience [...]

6

Hillary's Rebranding

So yeah, this really happened that the guys who run the Texts from Hillary Tumblr were called to a meeting with Hillary Clinton. Where there were posed hilarious photos! Very interesting in an election year.

0

Made-Up Twitter Account Totally Made-Up

#1: Don't apologize for being late with a Starbucks latte in your hand.

— GS Elevator Gossip (@GSElevator) December 19, 2013

Last night, the author of the "parody twitter account" (*shudder*) called @GSElevator—that's short for Goldman Sachs Elevator, you see—was escorted out of the closet by Andrew Ross Sorkin.

To anyone who'd ever met anyone who worked at Goldman Sachs, it was obviously fiction, as in, made-up, invented, concocted. So was his writing on fashion and manhood at Business Insider: It was sometimes hilarious but almost never had the ring of truth. In recent times, the account has grown quieter and less specific, although apparently it [...]

9

Are You Watching "Christmas Cats TV"?

IT'S LIKE THE CHRISTMAS SPECIAL DAVID LYNCH FORGOT TO MAKE. And yes. UM IT'S GETTING A LITTLE WEIRD IN THERE, THEY'RE DRINKING OUT OF A FLASK.

9

Third "Sex and the City" Movie Threatened

In this one, the first 40 minutes are just the ladies on a rooftop in Williamsburg, throwing rotten vegetables at the 20-somethings below. Then Miranda does a $12-million Kickstarter to fund her new boutique law firm. Charlotte fires her household staff. Samantha has sex with some men. Carrie, now single, writes a column for XO Jane and, whilst picking up her $45 check in the office, meets Lena Dunham and then goes home and hangs herself. Sounds good, can't wait!

6

The Brad Pitt Bed: "Ziricote with farm raised stingray skins and nickel details"

"Available in Ziricote, Macassar ebony, Ceylon satinwood, Amboyna burl, Olive ash burl, Macassar ebony with diamond pattern inlays, hand laid eggshell, goatskin, and stingray skin." (More LOLs here and here.)

3

Aaaahhhh, Reblorg

When you are launching some weird new Tumblr about mind-melting gifs, definitely you should always hire the Taiwanese animators at Next Media to make a bizarre preview video for you. No, what is Reblorg really? It's for fun things you've made: "Our submission rules are simple: you must have made it, and it must be new."

5

Tire Attacks Sons of Confederate Veterans Conference at Ramada Inn

"I went to the refreshment table to get something to drink and a cookie or two and all of a sudden one of the members yelled 'Look out!' Something large and black came by side [sic] and scratched against my leg," said Bob Hurst, of the Sons of Confederate Veterans.

Do we need to talk further about not ever going to Florida?

7

Longread Hips Don't Lie

"I worry that the assumption that people are clamoring for long form writing is incorrect. The main mission of most web browsing sessions—to dick around on the Internet—points directly to the value of brevity. To say people are looking for the gravitas in their writing through length is akin to telling a Shakira fan they’ll really like Joanna Newsom—after all, Newsom is just a female singer who sings longer. Like Shakira but inherently 'better.'" —Did you know that Matter, which wants to publish a piece of writing once a week, got $140,201 pledged on Kickstarter? They have already planned a "Best of Matter" print anthology! It's so magical. [...]

4

Headline Contains Words

"Facebook’s New Branch Hire Tweets About His Medium Posts" is definitely the headline of the day, if not the year. Don't have any idea what it means? Then you will be left behind in a meaningless netherworld of oldness and sadness. Congratulations to Peter Kafka of <re/code> for this one. What's that strange series of letters and symbols, you ask? You poor thing, we should just put you down. How are you going to survive when you have to drive your lightcycle around the grid in a deathrace for survival? (via)

5

The Gay Marriage Dance Party Playlist

Are you DOMA to get some? LET'S MARRY SOME ANIMALS, PEOPLE.

7

Email Privacy Bill Rewritten To Actually Remove Email Privacy

"A Senate proposal touted as protecting Americans' e-mail privacy has been quietly rewritten, giving government agencies more surveillance power than they possess under current law. [Senator Pat] Leahy's rewritten bill would allow more than 22 agencies—including the Securities and Exchange Commission and the Federal Communications Commission—to access Americans' e-mail, Google Docs files, Facebook wall posts, and Twitter direct messages without a search warrant." —Maybe we're all better off without the Senate protecting our Internet privacy. UPDATE: Tech industry people get angry, Leahy kills the warrantless part, for now.

4

Obamacane: Is NBC's Sandy Benefit Really an Obama Commercial?

In just a few hours, most every functioning television screen on the Eastern Seaboard will be showing NBC's new mid-season replacement reality series, Hurricane Sandy: Coming Together. And we aren't the only ones who smell an entire river of dead rats. Fox News, for example, has an interesting take that is mostly "interesting" for its picture of Kanye at the top of the story. (Kanye West isn't scheduled to do the benefit tonight, but he did say something about George W. Bush at another hurricane benefit, seven years ago. And Kanye is also black … much like Obama.)

5

Irony Sees All

"A man who pretended to be blind to get people to pity him was found dead in a flooded ditch after he apparently failed to see the hazard, an inquest heard today."

34

Dude In Tights Totally Gay

Welp, they made Green Lantern a homo.